COMPETING TURKEY TESTICLE FESTIVALS

The owner of a suburban Chicago bar that has held an annual Turkey Testicle Festival for 32 years isn’t thrilled that a nearby community plans to host its own turkey testicle festival this November. J.R. Westberg, who owns the Parkside Pub in Huntley, says that his only criticism of East Dundee’s plan for its own event the day before Thanksgiving is the organizers’ lack of originality. They gave it the exact same name and scheduled it for the same date and time. The original Huntley festival often attracts more than 4,000 people. East Dundee businessman Cliff Surges says there’s enough interest to support both festivals and that the new one will target a different demographic. He says his town’s festival will be “family-oriented.”
* Unless you’re a future descendant of the turkey.
* Whichever event you’re attending, remember: don’t order the sack lunch.
* If you think the restaurant isn’t thrilled about this, you should see the turkeys’ reaction.
* That sounds like one of those alternative jam bands: The Competing Turkey Testicle Festival.
* It’s a day before Thanksgiving and it actually helps the turkeys. See, after this they don’t want to go on living anyway.
* Personally, I prefer the turkey drumstick to this.