MAN MOCKS ALLIGATOR, GETS EATEN

A man who apparently mocked alligators, then jumped in the water — despite warning signs — is dead after being attacked in Texas. Police in Orange County, Texas, were called to a marina near the Louisiana state line early Friday morning after reports that Tommie Woodward, 28, and an unidentified woman were swimming in a bayou and had been attacked by a large alligator. Marina employee Michelle Wright said she told Woodward, “Please do not go swimming, there’s a bigger alligator out here. Just please stay out of the water.” Woodward had removed his shirt, removed his billfold, said ‘(bleep) the alligators’ and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help. Wright said, “I saw his body floating face down. And then he’s out there for a couple of seconds and then he’s dragged back down. And then he comes back up still face down and then he gets pulled down again. And then he just disappears.” Woodward’s body was found several hours later.
* Best last words ever.
* Isn’t this exactly the opening scene in “Jaws”?
* I wonder if the alligators have their own reality show too like “Swamp People.”
* For them “Swamp People” is on the Food Channel.
* I think this is where I usually point out that alligators have been doing this since the creatures they were eating were dinosaurs.
* Just think…if the first guy who ever said, “Bleep the alligators” had been killed, we might never have had trash-talking.
* You know the sad thing? The alligator only bit him because it didn’t like bad language.