WOMAN GETS LOST, GIVES BIRTH, STARTS FOREST FIRE

Amber Pangborn was driving in south Oroville, California, when she started to go into labor. She decided to go up the highway and take a connecting road to her parents’ house. She had been told about the back road but had never driven it herself. Soon, she found herself lost. There was no cell phone service, and the car ran out of gas. Then, at around 5 a.m. Thursday, Amber gave birth to a baby girl. She only had four apples and a small amount of water with her. To make things worse, she had to fight off wasps and mosquitoes. She says, “The meat bees came out and were trying to get the placenta. I was trying to get them not to sting her and I got stung trying to keep them away from the baby. But they went into the placenta.” On Saturday, Pangborn managed to start a signal fire, and luckily it was picked up by a U.S. Forest Service fire detection system. Amber says “The fire just went ‘whoosh’ and shot up the mountainside. And I was looking at Marissa … and I was like, ‘I think mommy just started a forest fire, honey.’” A few hours later, a Cal Fire helicopter discovered the stranded pair and sent a rescue team. Amber and baby Marissa were admitted into an Oroville hospital on Saturday.
* And I’m sure all the people who will lose their houses in the fire are thrilled that Amber and her baby are okay.
* Congratulations, kid. Your mother is the Queen of Bad Decisions.
* If I had a band, I would name it the Meat Bees. (Note: apparently, a meat bee is like a yellowjacket.)
* Why head for her parent’s house if she was going into labor? Do you think they want this hassle?
* Three words: Fill the tank.
* The total cost for the delivery: 1 billion dollars.
* Actually, since she didn’t go to a hospital, even with the cost of the fire, she probably saved money.
* On the bright side, the meat bees got to enjoy a nice placenta.
* Yuck. Did she say “placenta” enough in this story? “Placenta. Placenta. Placenta. Placenta.”
* The bees were thinking, “Yummy! We gotta tell more people about this back road!”
* This kid’s sure gotten off to a legendary start.
* Meanwhile the baby Marissa is thinking, “Oh great. Mom’s out to lunch.”