82-YEAR-OLD SLASHES TIRES OVER BINGO

In Lake Wales, Florida, police arrested 82-year-old Fred Smith for slashing a woman’s tires because he claims she was sitting in his favorite bingo seat. Police say Smith stormed out of a weekly bingo game at the Lake Ashton Club House and used an ice pick to puncture two tires on a van belonging to Ethel Britt, 88, because she was sitting in a chair he usually sits in. “I didn’t think anyone would be low enough to do that to my car because I didn’t know I had any enemies in my life,” Britt said. “I thought everybody was my friend, but undoubtedly I have one enemy. I didn’t know it meant that much to him to do that to my tires,” Britt continued. Smith was charged with criminal mischief to a vehicle.
* Who knew Bingo could be so dramatic?
* Maybe it’s time to try Shuffleboard.
* Considering an ice pick was involved, this didn’t end too badly.
* Hey, chances are, at 88, she shouldn’t be driving anyway.
* This guy could have done us all a favor.
* Funny what old people latch on to. It reminds me of trying to get the remote away from my grandfather.
* Did you think what I thought? “Uh oh, it looks like David Letterman is already raising hell at the home.”
* You know what Fred said when he stabbed the tires and they went flat? “Bingo!”