HUMAN ASHES IN THRIFT STORE URNS

Authorities are trying to figure out how urns containing what could be human ashes ended up on the shelf of a thrift store in Connecticut. Angela Dupree, of Shelton, said she found them by chance while shopping last Thursday. “I was actually looking for bakery pans for my friend’s bakery,” she said. Dupree said she spotted the urns on a shelf in the housewares department. Both containers were sealed and marked with $3.99 price tags. “… I noticed two marble – they looked like urns to me,” Dupree said. “I tried to even pull the top off, because this can’t be what I think it is.” But, she said, it was. One of the urns had a name on it – Bonnie Throp – and the dates 1966-1983. Dupree brought the urns to store employees and explained what she had found. “They were totally surprised too,” Dupree said. “They had no idea that’s what it was.” The urns and their contents are now being held in a secure vault at a nearby cemetery until someone can explain what – or who – might be inside. No records for a Bonnie Throp have been found at any of the state’s 19 certified crematories.
* Maybe the family just did it at home in the fireplace?
* Time to get out the Ouija board.
* So did Angela ever find the bakery pans?
* That explains the store’s motto: Ashes to Cash.
* Their other motto is “You can’t get burned shopping here. That already happened.”
* That also explains the Remains of the Day sale.
* Let’s be fair: Maybe this is what the deceased asked for.
* “Don’t scatter my ashes on a mountaintop. Naa, that’s corny. I want my ashes in a thrift shop.”