What do cannibals use to blow their noses?
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
DOLLY PARTON CORN MAZES ARE BIG SELLERS THIS YEAR
I’m holding out for the Bob Mackie maze.
THE PICARD GAMBLE: IT WOULD WORK, SAYS PHYSICIST STAR TREK FAN
And don’t get him started on The Big Bang Theory.
OPRAH IN THE SPHERE
Everybody check under your seat.
BEYONCE’S BIG BARREN BOX BESET BY BEYHIVE BUYERS’ BACKLASH
Ever see “The Sting”?
LADY GAGA HAS A BABY
Born THIS way.
THE BEATLES IN SCIENCE: LET IT BE ALREADY
I’m so tired.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
“WHEEL OF FORTUNE” ADDS NEW GAME
This’ll make it more interesting, for sure.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Where does Superman buy his groceries?
At the supermarket.
Why do gas stations charge you for air?
Inflation
Did you hear about the clumsy girl who fell in love?
She falls for everyone.
What did the alien cat say when it landed on Earth?
Take me to your litter.
Why don’t football players wear glasses?
It’s a contact sport.
U.S. NEWS
NEW YORK CITY’S NEW SOLAR-POWERED PUBLIC TOILETS
The toilet of tomorrow… orrow… orrow… orrow…
POLICE NAB 650 ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER DESTINED FOR PRANKING
It would’ve been an awesome prank, no doubt.
TOYS ‘R’ US IS BOUNCING BACK
Out of the way, kid.
NYC NIGHTCLUB REWARDS YOU FOR BRINGING YOUR PARENTS
So that’s how it is in their family.
TOY HALL OF FAME ANNOUNCES NOMINEES
Don’t toy with me.
KID CHARGES $118,000 TO DAD’S CREDIT CARD FOR YOUTUBE ADVERTISING
Advertising: it works, maybe a little too well.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
VENICE RESTAURANT CHARGES FOR BACKGROUND MUSIC
È troppo caro.
2032 OLYMPICS ROWING WILL BE HELD IN CROC-INFESTED RIVER
Crikey, that river is croc-y.
ANNOYING KIDS LEFT BEHIND ON FIELD TRIP
♪♫ 99 fliaš piva na stene…♫
TEACHER BROKE INTO A HOUSE ALONG WITH HIS STUDENTS
Hands-on learning.
AIRLINE BREAKS TRACK STAR’S JAVELINS
Them’s the breaks.
BEACHCOMBERS CLAIM TO FIND KNEECAP; IT WAS JUST A SEA POTATO
Goes great with a sea steak.
RHINO POACHER TRAMPLED BY ELEPHANTS
Another of those Circle of Life things.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
The Original
That Smudge’s Been Bugging Me
Mom! How Do You Like My Hair! Mom!
Drop It! Drop It!!
Jurassic, Parked
Get The Graham Cracker Ready
THE BUZZ
THE MOST-GOOGLED DREAMS
In your dreams.
WACKY ANESTHESIA STORIES
High comedy.
TEACHERS REVEAL RIDICULOUS REQUEST FROM PARENTS
Let this be a lesson to you.
DUMB HEADLINES
Real headlines. Real dumb headlines.
STUDY: COLLEGE STUDENTS, PAID TO SLEEP MORE, GET BETTER GRADES
Forty winks = 5 bucks.
SURVEY: WHERE WE DON’T LIKE PETS
Restaurants, grocery stores, doctor’s office.
CARS: A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY
I’m in love with my car.
IT LOOKED SO ROMANTIC IN THE MOVIES
Isn’t it romantic? No.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THE WEIGHT
Starts Friday, September 18 in theaters.
RESIDENT EVIL
Starts Friday, September 18 in theaters.
SHAUN THE SHEEP: THE BEAST OF MOSSY BOTTOM
Starts Friday, September 18 in theaters.
THE UPRISING
Starts Friday, September 11 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
FOURTOOTH FARMS CORNY MAZE
Makes a great babysitter, when you have errands.
OKTOBERFEST SONG – BIERGARTEN GIRLS
It’s Oktoberfest time!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 18.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – No Reasonable Offer
Big Al gets an offer he can’t refuse.
FELDMAN’S BIG AND DUMB SHOP FOR MEN
For stupid men, duh.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 11.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
EAU DE GASOLINE PARFUM
It even sounds expensive.
A & M AUTOLAND – Subliminal Ad
Al and Mike try communicating below the threshold of actual thoughts, which is how their brains work anyway.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 4.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Dinners
With their latest promotion, Al and Mike have bitten off more than they can chew.
UNIVERSITY OF HIBBING: JOBS
Earn that college degree in a week, maybe two.
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