SPANKING DOESN’T WORK, SAY SCIENTISTS WITHOUT CHILDREN

New research being called “the most comprehensive analysis on spanking” says it doesn’t work. Researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and University of Michigan looked at 75 studies involving more than 150,000 children over 50 years. They found that children who were spanked were more likely to defy their parents. Researchers also found children who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and antisocial. Although researchers did point out that the effectiveness of spanking ultimately depends on the individual child.
* Ah, the old end-of-the-study reversal!
* Spanking doesn’t work, unless it does. I understand completely.
* Are they counting that it makes the parents feel better?
* Hold on. This wasn’t some flimsy, fly-by-night study. No! This was “comprehensive analysis.”
* Wait, they didn’t even get their own data? They just reviewed other studies? Well, that’s pretty scientific.
* So what we’re really talking about here is an Internet search.
* I have only one thing to say to these so-called researchers: Wait ’til your father gets home!”
* At least please tell me they had the white lab coats on. There can be no study without some white lab coats.
* This isn’t research, it’s just a big spank-off.
* Spank this.
PHONE TOPIC: We you spanked? Did it work on you? Do you continue the tradition with your children?