CARNIVAL LAUNCHES THE “SOCIAL IMPACT CRUISE”

Carnival Cruise Lines has announced a new kind of ocean-based vacation: “social impact travel”, where you cruise the Caribbean performing community service for the needy. A trip costs $1,540 per person, aboard a 710-person ship. Its maiden voyage will be to the Dominican Republic, “a country known for its spectacular beauty but also a country with great needs among its people,” Carnival said. Once there, passengers will perform “social impact” activities, such as helping a women’s co-op pick cacao plants, practicing “conversational English” with school children, and building a clay water filter. “This is not a cruise, it’s a social impact travel experience that happens at sea on a small repurposed ship,” says Carnival. The cost covers lodging, food and all the impact experiences on board and three impact activity days on the ground.
* This can’t possibly end well.
* “This is not a cruise.” Well, they got that part right.
* It ain’t no Carnival, either.
* Why am I picturing the entire cruise being held hostage in some Caribbean hell hole?
* You’ll either be picking cacao plants or coca plants for drug smugglers.
* I don’t get it. Most people on a cruise just want to have an impact on the midnight buffet.
* I don’t know about the high seas, but whoever thought this up was high.
* Actually, it’s pretty nice. And at the end, you get to adopt a Somali pirate.