ANNE FRANK’S DIARY HAD DIRTY JOKES

Researchers using digital technology deciphered the writing on two pages of Anne Frank’s diary that she had covered over with brown masking paper, discovering four naughty jokes and a candid explanation of sex, contraception and prostitution. Anne Frank, of course, is the famous Dutch girl who kept a diary while she and her family hid from the Nazis for more than two years during World War II, until Aug. 4, 1944, when they were discovered and ultimately deported to Auschwitz. Anne, age 13 at the time, wrote the two pages on Sept. 28, 1942, less than three months after she, her family and another Jewish family went into hiding in a secret annex behind a canal-side house in Amsterdam. Possibly fearing prying eyes, she later covered them over with brown paper, and their content remained a tantalizing mystery for decades.
– In the passage on sex, Anne described how a young woman gets her period around age 14, saying that it is “a sign that she is ripe to have relations with a man but one doesn’t do that of course before one is married.”
– On prostitution, she wrote: “All men, if they are normal, go with women, women like that accost them on the street and then they go together. In Paris they have big houses for that. Papa has been there.”
– Then there are the jokes: “Do you know why the German Wehrmacht girls are in Holland? As mattresses for the soldiers.”
– “A man had a very ugly wife and he didn’t want to have relations with her. One evening he came home and then he saw his friend in bed with his wife, then the man said: ‘He GETS to, and I HAVE to!!!'” (* The classic punchline is: “The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, ‘Joe, I HAVE to – but YOU?'”
* “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! I’ll be appearing here for the duration of the war, or until they catch me.”
* So not politically correct.
* I think she stole that joke about the German Wehrmacht girls from Mein Kampf.
* Nothing about a man from Nantucket?
* Then there’s another joke that goes on for, like, three pages. I can’t say it on the air, but the punchline is, “The Aristocrats!”
* Papa Frank, you scoundrel you!