LINER CAPTAIN DIES MID-CRUISE

The captain of a major cruise liner died during an almost month-long voyage around Asia. Captain Michele Bartolomei, a 25-year veteran of cruise ships, was captaining Princess Cruises’ the Diamond Princess when he died suddenly on Monday following what was described as a medical emergency. ( * And suddenly, clams were off the menu at the all-you-can-eat buffet.) Another captain was brought in so the cruise could continue. The ship was on a 19-day Southern Islands Explorer voyage to locations including Japan and Korea. The ship was docked at Keelung, Taiwan at the time of his death.
* Well, actually, the ship was ON the dock at Keelung, Taiwan when he died. That was their first clue.
* I’ve been on cruises. It’s not like he died from all the excitement.
* He kept calling out “Doc! Doc!” and the first mate said, “Yes, I know, there’s the dock, right there. Pull up next to it.”
* The Diamond Princess? More like the DYIN’ Princess.
* Time to go back to annual physicals.