FRIDAY, Dec 13 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, December 13, 2024
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL COCOA DAY

NATIONAL DAY OF THE HORSE
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Day of the Horse encourages people of the United States to be mindful of the contribution of horses to the economy, history and character of the United States.”

NATIONAL SALESPERSON DAY – Second Friday in December

NATIONAL VIOLIN DAY

U.S. NATIONAL GUARD BIRTHDAY
The National Guard website says this:
“On this date in 1636, the first militia regiments in North America were organized in Massachusetts. Today, the descendants of these first regiments – the 181st Infantry, the 182nd Infantry, the 101st Field Artillery, and the 101st Engineer Battalion of the Massachusetts Army National Guard – share the distinction of being the oldest units in the U.S. military. The birth of the National Guard’s oldest organized units is symbolic of the founding of all the state, territory, and District of Columbia militias that collectively make up today’s National Guard.”

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

THE BUZZJOBS FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE PEOPLE

Are you just not a people person? Reddit asked, “What are good professions for people that hate people?” Some of the responses:
– “Baker. You have to wake up early but you get to work alone in the back jamming out to music, baking delicious smelling bread or pastries, and almost never have to deal with people. And your work day is done by noon, 2 at the latest.”
– “Commercial truck driver.”
– “Welder, most welders hate people.”
– “Night desk at a hotel. Even on nights where we are sold out I have seen a handful of people since midnight.”
– “Self employed beekeeper. Maybe a dozen conversations a year.”
– “A morgue doctor. She told me herself she chose that type of doctoring because she couldn’t stand people.”
– “Locomotive Engineer. I’m an introvert, I enjoy being locked away in my locomotive, operating my train while the conductor deals with the people in the back.”
– “I run my own pressure washing business and I guarantee no one will bother you when you have a pressure washer in your hands.”
– “Henchman.”
– “Virologist.”
– “Dentist.”
– “Comcast Customer Service Rep.”
– “CEO of a health care company.”
* Hey, wait, that’s not funny!
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you hate being around people? Are you working your dream job?

TOP GOOGLE SEARCHES FOR 2024

Google has released its Top Searches lists for 2024. Here are a couple of them:
– Top US searches:
1. Election
2. Donald Trump (* Does anybody really need to search for Trump? Isn’t he, like everywhere?)
3. Connections
4. New York Yankees (* People were searching for the Yankees because they sure as hell didn’t show up for the World Series.)
5. Kamala Harris
6. Copa América
7. Hurricane Milton tracker
8. Olympic medal count
9. Toby Keith
10. Liam Payne
– Top Searches For People Who Died: Liam Payne, Toby Keith, O.J. Simpson, Shannen Doherty, Akira Toriyama, Ratan Tata (* and no one likes a rotten tata), Alain Delon, Maggie Smith, James Earl Jones, Silvio Santos

U.S. NEWS

SUSPECT TRIES HIDING IN A CHIMNEY

A Massachusetts man became stuck inside a chimney while trying to evade cops Tuesday night. As the cops knocked on the front door, they saw two men fleeing the home via the roof. One jumped off. Police officers scaled the roof and found the other man had jumped down the chimney and was stuck inside. (* The reindeer must have ratted him out.) “You’re an idiot,” said an officer. They called for the fire department to come and rescue the wanted man. Firefighters took apart the chimney brick-by-brick from inside the home as the man waited to be taken into custody. The other suspect, who jumped off the roof, remains at large.
* That’s OK. I bet Santa got called an idiot his first couple of times, too.
* So his plan was to go down the chimney to get inside the house BACK WHERE HE STARTED FROM. Yeah – idiot.
* As many people have pointed out, it is flue season.
* If only he hadn’t gone back for seconds on Thanksgiving.
* ♪♫ Stuck in the chimney, step in time / Stuck in the chimney, step in time… ♫♪♪

DARING ROWBOAT ESCAPE FAILS

On Tuesday morning in Jefferson County, Washington, a homeowner called 911 over the theft of about $11,000 worth of gold and jewelry. He described the suspects as a man and woman dressed in black who left the scene in an SUV with covered license plates. Deputies eventually found the flipped-over SUV crashed near Port Gamble, but not the suspects. Deputies then sent up a drone to track them down, and soon spotted them in a stolen little rowboat on Port Gamble Bay, trying to row away using makeshift paddles – a 2×2 board and piece of plywood. The rowboat soon began to flood with water, forcing the suspects to swim back to land and right into the hands of deputies.
* When they stole the jewelry they thought their ship had come in, but then they were up the creek without a paddle, and now they’re in hot water and being sent up the river. The metaphors in this story just don’t end!
* Fleeing on Port Gamble Bay was a bad gamble.
* The lesson here is, always have a getaway oarsman.
* So they’re bad with cars and boats … maybe they should have used a horse?
* This is the plot of the next sequel, Fast & Furious & Wet.

STANLEY CUP RECALL

A recall notice is in effect for a certain models of Stanley travel mugs, warning consumers to “immediately stop using” them. The insulated cup that was a major fad about a year ago, and cost you $35 and up, can burn your face. The problem is the lid. Turns out the screw threading can shrink when exposed to heat, which can cause the lid to “unexpectedly detach” during use, and hot coffee can come pouring out over your face and lap. The company has received 91 reports of detachment and 38 burn injuries worldwide. Anyone who owns one of the 2.6 million (yes, 2.6 million) recalled products can contact Stanley for a replacement lid at 1-866-792-5445.
* Wait – did they say “lid”? All you get is a new lid?
* When management heard about it, they flipped their lid!
* You can also recall why you thought paying $35 for an insulated mug was a good idea.
* Funny they never thought of heat-testing a product that was DESIGNED TO HOLD BOILING HOT COFFEE.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

YACHT RUNS INTO CRUISE SHIP

A yacht accidentally ran into a Royal Caribbean cruise ship on Wednesday. The Allure of the Seas was in Nassau, Bahamas, when passengers on board noticed a very large luxury yacht slowly drifting toward their cruise ship. The boat slowly hit the port side. One witness said it appeared that the boat was not running under any power. The Allure of the Seas is one of the biggest cruise ships in the world, with a length of 1,187 feet and gross tonnage of 225,282. Some passengers noted they had no idea anything had happened.
* That’s how I like to cruise: with no idea that anything is happening.
* That’s why it’s called the Allure of the Seas. It’s very alluring to everything, even other boats.
* Maybe it was just very bad pirates.
* It was “a very large luxury yacht,” unless you compare it to Jeff Bezos’ superyacht, in which case it’s more of a bathtub toy.
* I was wondering whatever happened to the captain of that freighter that ran into that bridge in Baltimore.

TRENDING

MORGAN WALLEN PLEADS GUILTY, GETS SUSPENDED SENTENCE

Country star Morgan Wallen pleaded guilty Thursday to two counts of misdemeanor reckless endangerment as part of a plea agreement that allows him to avoid serving any further jail time. The singer faced a judge for the first time since he threw a chair off the roof of Eric Church’s Chief’s bar in Nashville on April 7, 2024. He was initially charged with three counts of felony reckless endangerment and one misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct. Wallen will not go to jail, but serve 11 months and 29 days of supervised probation for each count, to run concurrently. Plus, he will have to attend an alcohol education program.

CRITICS CHOICE AWARD NOMINATIONS

Here are the nominations for the Critics Choice Awards. These are the movies you SHOULD be seeing, you uncultured twit, even though most of them aren’t even out yet, and the rest don’t play in your town because it’s so small:
– Best Picture: A Complete Unknown, Anora, The Brutalist, Conclave, Dune: Part Two, Emilia Pérez, Nickel Boys, Sing Sing, The Substance, Wicked
– Best Animated Feature: Flow, Inside Out 2, Memoir of a Snail,Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl, The Wild Robot
– Best Comedy: A Real Pain, Deadpool & Wolverine, Hit Man, My Old Ass, Saturday Night, Thelma

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Saturday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:21 a.m. (EST)
Dec. 25, Wednesday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Tuesday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Wednesday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Taylor Swift (singer/songwriter) … 35
Jamie Foxx (actor, “Beat Shazam” host) … 57
Steve Buscemi (actor) … 67
Wendie Malick (actress, “The Ranch,” “Hot in Cleveland,” “Just Shoot Me” ) … 74
Randy Owen (country singer-guitarist w Alabama) … 75
Ted Nugent (heavy metal guitarist, naturist) … 76
Dick Van Dyke (actor, “Mary Poppins Returns,” “Night At The Museum”) … 99

Today’s Birthdays grade: Taylor Swift. Yeah, there are some other great names, but – Taylor Swift. Became a singer-songwriter, and how well did she do? She’s a billionaire. Billionaire. Resistance is futile. A-plus+

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I never want to change so much that people can’t recognize me.”

(A) Renee Zellweger
(B) Lady Gaga
(C) Taylor Swift

ANSWER: (C) Taylor Swift

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 – Ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was captured by U.S. forces while hiding in a hole under a farmhouse.
* And the whole situation in Iraq went downhill from there.

2000 – Republican George W. Bush claimed the U.S. presidency 36 days after Election Day; Democrat Al Gore conceded defeat.
* Al didn’t get to live his dream of being president, but he realized his SECOND dream, of growing a beard.

1950 – James Dean began his career with an appearance in a Pepsi commercial.
* Wow. Most icons sell out and do endorsements AFTER they make it big.

1920 – The League of Nations established the International Court of Justice in The Hague.
* Not to be confused with the League of Justice founded by the Super Friends in the 1970s.

1903 – The Wright Brothers made their 1st flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
* But their luggage ended up in West Virginia.

1903 – Ice cream cones were invented by Italo Marcione in New York.
* It sure beat buying ice cream by the pocketful.

1759 – The first music store in America opened in Philadelphia.
* Business was slow for about a century until the phonograph was invented.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2012 – A collection of love letters written by Mick Jagger to American singer Marsha Hunt sold at auction for approx. $237,000. The letters were penned in the summer of 1969 while The Rolling Stones frontman was in Australia. They are believed to be the inspiration for the band’s hit single “Brown Sugar.”

2003 – Lauryn Hill launched a blistering attack on the Catholic church, urging religious figures to “repent” while speaking on a stage regularly used by the Pope. The former Fugees singer was playing at a Christmas show in Vatican City and took the opportunity to speak her mind about allegations of sexual abuse in America, before an audience that included top Vatican cardinals, bishops and the cream of Italian society.

2002 – Zal Yanovsky of The Lovin Spoonful died of a heart attack.

1986 – Bruce Hornsby & The Range went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “The Way It Is.”

1980 – Kenny Roger’s Greatest Hits started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart.

1975 – Chicago started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Chicago IX – Chicago’s Greatest Hits,” the group’s fifth No.1 album.

1966 – The Jimi Hendrix Experience recorded “Foxy Lady.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 1 in 5 people used to be able do THIS, but can’t anymore. What is it?
Pass a written driving test

2. 1 in 3 drivers have never done THIS simple task for their car. What is it?
Check to see if the spare tire is usable

3. THIS automobile feature was invented by a sightless man. Most cars have it, but you probably don’t use it every day. What is it?
Cruise control

(c) 2024
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111