FRIDAY, Nov 22 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, November 22, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

GO FOR A RIDE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“As the holidays approach, life becomes chaotic, and perhaps a bit stressful. Take a breather, and go for a relaxing ride. You don’t need a destination to enjoy this day. But, you certainly can bring family or friends along for company.”

NATIONAL CRANBERRY RELISH DAY

NATIONAL FLOSSING DAY

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

THE BUZZTHANKSGIVING FOODS YOU CAN TAKE ON A PLANE

People, for some reason, feel the need to take Thanksgiving food with them on an airplane. Here, according to the TSA, are the foods you can and can’t take on your flight:
Yes:
– A turkey, but only if it’s packed inside your checked bags. (* And it better be dead, or else wearing a “service animal” vest.)
– A frozen pint container full of turkey stock or frozen jug of apple cider can be packed in carry-on bags.
– Pies and cakes
– Mac and cheese
– Green bean casserole
– Fresh vegetables must be packed in carry-on bags
– Chocolates and spices
– Baking dishes and nonstick skillets of any size can be carried on planes
* Green bean casserole is allowed? I thought the TSA was supposed to PROTECT the public?
* Are you telling me…. turkeys can fly?
No:
– Canned cranberry sauce.
– Canned gravy
– Canned candied yams
– Canned fruit cocktail
* So you’ll have to transfer all those to plastic bags.
– Homemade jams and preserves
– Cast-iron skillets are not allowed in the cabin – no tools over 7 inches are allowed. They must be packed in checked luggage
– No rolling pins over 7 inches
* My grandma makes a lime Jell-o mold that’s as deadly as any cast iron skillet.
* By all means, bring all your Thanksgiving food on the plane. Your fellow passengers – and particularly your seatmates – will smile and admire you.
* The fact that all these items are on the list means that, at some point, somebody has tried to bring all this stuff on a plane.

FAMILY TRADITIONS

Reddit asked, “What’s a family tradition from your childhood that you have continued with your kids?” Some of the responses:
– “No phones at the dinner table. I would ask the kids about their day. This led to great discussion about everything from history to science and politics.”
– “From childhood: Four times a year, we deep clean the house from top to bottom to prepare for a fun evening of eating a ridiculously big cake and watching a movie.”
– “My mom always said if you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it. But you have to try at least one bite. And she actually paid attention to what we liked and wouldn’t intentionally make something she knew we wouldn’t like. Also, We were never forced to sit at the table to finish our plates. I’m keeping that tradition alive.”
– “Family pajamas on Christmas!”
– “Baking cookies together on Christmas Eve.”
– “Wife’s Christmas dinner growing up was always roast beef and spaghetti (with gravy, not tomato sauce). Still doing it.”
– “A long walk through the neighborhood after Xmas dinner to see the decorations.”
– “Cursing is ok. Cursing AT people is not.”
– “Put the cash in the middle and you win it if you land on Free Parking!”
– “The winner puts the game away. Prevents sore losers from damaging stuff.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you have a tradition that you’re continuing with your family?

U.S. NEWS

WISCONSIN MAN WHO FAKED HIS OWN DEATH SENDS A VIDEO TO COPS

The Wisconsin husband who faked his own death and ran away with his mistress has sent police a ‘proof of life’ video – but refused to tell them where he was. Ryan Borgwardt, 45, purposely flipped his kayak on Green Lake on August 11, dumped his phone and belongings in the water, paddled to safety on an inflatable boat and e-biked more than 50 miles to Madison in the middle of the night. He crossed the border into Canada a few days after his disappearance. He is believed to be in Eastern Europe with a woman. Through that woman, the Sheriff’s Office was able to get in contact with Borgwardt and asked him to answer questions only he would know and to film a video of himself, which he did. In the video, Borgwardt showed off his apartment, telling officers: “I am safe, secure, no problems.” Authorities do not know exactly where he is. Borgwardt has still not contacted his family since his disappearance.
* What if now he’s faking his own life?
* Idiot. Don’t send the video to the cops. Put it on TikTok, make some money!
* As punishment goes, you can’t get much worse than having to live in Eastern Europe.
* Coming soon, from the producers of “The Amazing Race,” it’s “Manhunt: Find Ryan Borgwardt!”
* Sometimes, that midlife crisis hits hard.

ANOTHER AIR PASSENGER DECIDES TO DISEMBARK MID-FLIGHT

Yet another airplane passenger decided to try and exit the plane mid-flight. The incident happened on an American Airlines flight from Milwaukee to Dallas-Fort Worth on Tuesday. The man went up to a flight attendant in the front galley and made a comment about “needing to exit the aircraft now.” As he became louder and more agitated, she alerted other attendants, and also made a hand gesture to passengers near her indicating she needed assistance. She then placed herself between the door and the passenger. He jumped on top of her screaming, “I’m getting off this plane. I need to get off the plane.” Another passenger came to her aid and bear-hugged the guy until more passengers and the crew subdued him. At landing, the passenger was seen lying on his stomach with his hands behind his back bound as well as his ankles with duct tape.
* Again, some people pay extra for that.
* Why did he need to leave so badly? Was the in-flight movie “Megalopolis”?
* Other passengers saw the man bound up and said, “Can I do that? It looks more comfortable than my seat.”
* “Sorry, sir, you can’t exit the plane mid-flight. This is an Airbus, not a Boeing.”
* The real winner here was the guy’s seatmates, who suddenly had all the arm and leg room they wanted.

THE VULGAR HIGHWAY SIGNS OF BOULDER, COLORADO

Boulder, Colorado police are on the lookout for the person or persons who put up unauthorized highway signs. There were four signs; all of them looked very official and were attached to the metal posts holding speed limit signs. The problem with the signs: they were a little bit naughty. The four signs read 1) Get Off Your Damn Phone, 2) Don’t Kill Any Kids Today, 3) Slow The [bleep] Down, and 4) Put The Phone Down, [Bleep]hole. Local citizens thought the signs were great, much more effective than the usual generic verbiage. But putting up unauthorized road signs is illegal and counts as criminal tampering, so crews from Boulder’s Transportation Department worked to remove the profanely memorable safety signage.
* The city is damn lucky to have someone who gives a fig.
* Find me one driver who hasn’t said any one of those things?
* Most people driving past the signs responded by taking pictures of them with their phones and texting them to friends.
* The guy who wrote them is probably is back at his old job, writing greeting cards.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CRYPTO BILLIONAIRE BUYS BANANA FOR $6.2 MILLION

A cryptocurrency billionaire bought a piece of art for $6.2 million. The “art” was a banana duct taped to a wall. The banana is a piece of artwork called “Comedian,” created by the Italian artist and satirist Maurizio Cattelan. (* His point: if you call anything ‘art’, it is.) Crypto bro Justin Sun bid against six others – SIX OTHERS!!! – at an art auction Wednesday and won with a $6.2 million bid. But it gets better. He doesn’t even get the banana – the banana rots, so he’ll have to provide his own banana. For his money, he gets a roll of duct tape and instructions from the artist on how to “install” the banana properly to a wall. (* I know just where he can stick the banana.) He said afterwards, “I am honored to be the proud owner of this iconic work and look forward to it sparking further inspiration and impact for art enthusiasts around the world.”
* As long as the money doesn’t go to the poor, that’s the important part.
* The dummy could have bought a roll of Gorilla Tape on Amazon for $9.87.
* Warren Buffet only wishes he had this kind of investment strategy.
* As for me, I don’t see the a-peel.
* If you think taping a banana to a wall is dumb, imagine what a chimpanzee thinks of it.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Nov. 28, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Saturday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:21 a.m. (EST)
Dec. 25, Wednesday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Tuesday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Wednesday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Dacre Montgomery (actor, Billy Hargrove in “Stranger Things”) … 30
Scarlett Johansson (actress) … 40
Mark Ruffalo (actor, “All the Light We Cannot See,” Bruce Banner/Hulk in “Avengers” movies) … 57
Mariel Hemmingway (actress, “Manhattan”) … 63
Jamie Lee Curtis (actress, “The Bear,” “Scream Queens”) … 66
“Little Steven” Van Zandt (guitarist w Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, songwriter, arranger, record producer, radio disc jockey and actor) … 74
Tom Conti (actor, Albert Einstein in “Oppenheimer”) … 83
Terry Gilliam (animator/director ex-Monty Python man) … 84
Today’s Birthdays grade: Slam Dunk! Look at that list! A+! Whoo-hoo!!
[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not anxious to starve myself. For me, it’s not at all sexy to be ultra-thin.”

(A) Patton Oswalt
(B) James Corden
(C) Scarlett Johansson

ANSWER: (C) Scarlett Johansson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1990 – U. S. President George Bush (the elder) visited U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia during Thanksgiving.
* The troops were excited to have a real live turkey for the holiday.

1963 – U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas.
* We should know the truth about a conspiracy any time now.

1938 – A Coelacanth, a pre-historic fish thought to be extinct, was caught off the coast of South Africa.
* They caught a pre-historic fish? How could it possibly have lived that long?

1917 – The National Hockey League was founded.
* Dentists across North America observe this as a holiday.

1910 – Arthur Knight patented steel shaft golf clubs.
* And within weeks, thousands of golfers broke their knees.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Pollstar published their list of the top touring artists of the 2010s in North America. U2 came in first with a gross of $1,038,104,132, followed by The The Rolling Stones ($929,196,083), Ed Sheeran ($922,361,663), Taylor Swift ($899,627,048) and Bon Jovi ($868,715,392).

2010 – After just one week of availability on the iTunes store, The Beatles sold more than 450,000 albums and 2 million individual songs. The Fab Four’s debut on iTunes was accompanied by an extensive world-wide marketing campaign.

2005 – Poems written by Bob Dylan in his college days sold for $78,000 at a New York City auction. The 16 pages of poems were the first known time Robert Zimmerman used the Dylan name and came from his studies at the University of Minnesota during 1959-60.

2004 – Ozzy Osbourne struggled with a burglar who escaped with jewelry worth about $3.4 million from his Buckinghamshire, England mansion. Osbourne told reporters that he had the masked raider in a headlock as he tried to stop him. The burglar broke free and jumped 30 feet from a first floor window. A large amount of jewelry was stolen in the raid in which two burglars were involved.

2002 – The surviving members of The Doors, Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger, announced they would record and tour again with a new line up including ex-Cult singer Ian Astbury and former Police drummer Stewart Copeland. Original drummer John Densmore was not able to take part because of severe tinnitus.

1998 – Alanis Morissette was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie.”

1997 – INXS singer Michael Hutchence was found dead in his hotel suite in Sydney. He was 37. His cause of death was recorded as suicide by hanging.

1991 – Alice Cooper came to the rescue of two fans, Patrick and Dee Ann Kelly, whose California home was about to be re-possessed. Patrick had painted Cooper’s face on the house to help sell the property. Mr. Cooper signed autographs to help raise money for the couple.

1990 – Rolling Stone Bill Wyman announced that his 17-month marriage to model Mandy Smith was over.

1976 – Jerry Lee Lewis was arrested for drunk driving after driving his Rolls Royce into a ditch.

1975 – KC and the Sunshine Band started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “That’s The Way (I Like It),” the group’s second U.S. No.1 of the year.

1971 – Isaac Hayes was at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Theme From Shaft.”

1965 – Bob Dylan married Sara Lowndes in New York. She filed for divorce in 1977.

1955 – RCA paid the unheard of sum of $25,000 to Sam Phillips of Memphis, TN for the rights to the music of a truck driver from Tupelo, Mississippi – Elvis Presley.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 7% of people do THIS four or more times per day. What is it?
Drink (4 or more) cans of soda / soft drinks

2. 47% of people have injured themselves by doing THIS at home. What is it?
Hitting a finger with a hammer

3. According to a recent survey, the average person gets 4 of THESE a year. What are they?
Birthday gifts

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