WEDNESDAY, Nov 13 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, November 13, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Stilts

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL INDIAN PUDDING DAY
The Days of the Year website says this:
“Indian pudding was an innovation of the English settlers when they came to the new world and encountered corn. Expanding on their previous favorite, hasty pudding, they created this dish to fill a need from the old world. The conversion was so successful Indian Pudding became a thing of its own, and has since taken a place in the traditional foods of the new world. National Indian Pudding Day celebrates this long history.”

WORLD KINDNESS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“World Kindness Day evolved from a series of conferences in 1996-1997 in Japan by a group known as the World Kindness Movement. These conferences brought together groups interested in promoting more kindness around the world. It culminated in the ‘Declaration of Kindness’ on November 13, 1997. With this declaration, a new and very special day was born. World Kindness Day encourages us to be kind to others, helping to create a nicer, better world. Use today as an opportunity to be kind to family, friends, neighbors, and others. You will find kindness rubs off on others, and generates even more kindness.”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ARMIE HAMMER’S MOM GAVE HIM A VASECTOMY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

Armie Hammer’s mother, Dru Hammer, gave the actor a vasectomy for his 38th birthday back in August. The mom and son talked about the unusual birthday gift when Dru appeared on Monday’s episode of “The Armie HammerTime” podcast. She said, “So I call Armie and I go, ‘Armie, what would you like for your birthday this year?’ And he goes, ‘Oh, I don’t know, maybe money, whatever.’ And I was like, ‘I believe I’m going to give you a vasectomy.’” Armie – who has two children with his ex-wife Elizabeth Chambers, didn’t hesitate getting the vasectomy when he went to the doctor’s office, saying “I have two beautiful kids. I don’t want any more kids. I’m good to go.” Afterwards the receptionist asked, “Are you gonna be putting this on insurance?” He told her, “My mother’s going to be calling you and she’s going to be paying for it.” Dru, who is religious, said she wishes her son would not have sex outside of marriage. “But that isn’t gonna happen. So I know there are these young girls that would love to have Armie Hammer’s baby.” Armie responded, “Maybe when I had money, they would.”
* So THAT’S how it is in their family.
* He also got some ice cream for his birthday, but that was to put on his testicles to ease the swelling.
* So him mom is the only person in America who likes giving the insurance companies a break.
* Forget the vasectomy – how about paying his health insurance premiums for six months?
* His birthday card read, “To the man who’s a cut above, here’s a cut below.”

THE BUZZ

WEIRD THINGS PARENTS FIND IN THEIR CHILD’S ROOM

Bored Panda asked parents, ‘What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your kid’s room?” Some of the responses:
– “I found a hamster. We never bought the kids a hamster. Turns out, a neighbor’s hamster got in the house.”
– “Oregano, I don’t know why he’s baking up there.”
– “5-year-old son’s room had been getting smellier. Did some searching and found a ‘nest’ in the back of his closet. He had taken 2 eggs out of the fridge, put them in a little nest he made out of his shirts, and put a plastic dinosaur on top of the eggs to attempt to hatch baby dinosaurs.”
– “I work in a teen rehab center. My coworker once found a ziplock bag full of hair, all sorts of colors and length, in a new kid’s room. Kid says its his collection of hair for when he does his voodoo rituals.”
– “My aunt once found a box of live hand grenades under my cousin’s bed. Turns out he and a group of friends broke into the armory of a nearby army base. He was 12.”
– “Found a wedding ring in my 9-year-old son’s Pokemon card box. A kid at school really wanted one of my son’s cards, so he took his mom’s ring to trade. I had lost my ring a few months before, so my boy thought it would make a good Xmas present for me. The ring has been returned.”
– “My friend’s mom found his box of dead baby raccoon skulls in his closet. I stopped hanging out with him pretty soon after.”
– “Just walked in from work one day and noticed my $2500 dollar gaming system and desk was missing. I was about to freak out when I saw that my 10 year old and 16 year old had moved it, and the entire contents, up to their room. Thought it about it for a few moments, not even upset when I noticed how much more room it gave me downstairs. I let them keep it.”
– “My parents found a crack pipe in my room when I was in like 3rd grade…I found it on the playground and thought it was a treasure.”
– “I found a green piece of folded paper on the floor of my 11-year-old daughter’s room. I opened it and the only thing written on it was ‘CHUCK NORRIS.'”
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your kid’s room?

U.S. NEWS

MOM JAILED FOR LETTING SON WALK A MILE UNESCORTED

A Georgia woman named Brittany Patterson was arrested in front of her children back on October 30. Her crime? Her 11-year-old son was walking alone, coming back home from Mineral Bluff, a town of just 370 people, along a road where the speed limit is 35 miles per hour, a distance of about a mile. A local woman – (* let’s call her ‘Karen’) – saw the boy and asked him if he was OK. He said yes. Yet, the woman called the police. The Pattersons – with their 4 kids – live on a 16-acre plot of wooded land. Mrs. Patterson was upset that her son had gone to town without letting anyone know, but says he knows the roads and is mature enough to walk alone. The sheriff disagreed. That night, the sheriff returned with another officer and arrested Mrs. Patterson. She was fingerprinted, photographed, and dressed in an orange jumpsuit, and released on a $500 bail. Then the next day, Child Services came out for a home visit. A few days later, Patterson was presented with a “safety plan” for her to sign, requiring her to delegate a “safety person” to watch over the children whenever she leaves home. The plan also required Patterson to download an app onto her son’s phone allowing for his location to be monitored. If she doesn’t sign it and follow the instructions, she could be prosecuted on a reckless conduct charge, given a $1,000 fine, and a year in jail. So far, she refuses to sign.
* I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about this story until I know everybody’s political affiliation.
* What she really needs to teach her son is to not to talk to nosy neighbors.
* Did getting arrested at least boost her street cred in the hood?
* Great. The one city in America that’s tough on crime and it’s Mineral Bluff, Georgia, population 370.
* Remember when your neighbors were the people who just kept an eye on your kids while you kept an eye on theirs? No, me neither. That went out with the Carter Administration.

MAN LIVED UNDER 93-YEAR-OLD WOMAN’S HOUSE FOR SIX MONTHS

A naked man was arrested by police last Friday after he was found hiding in a crawl space beneath a 93-year-old woman’s house in El Sereno, California. Issac Betancourt, 27, is believed to have been living underneath the home for nearly six months. Police said that the extraction took hours and countless resources, including police dogs and tear gas (* He finally agreed to come out when they told him the election was over). Ricardo Silva, the son-in-law of the homeowner, said they heard strange noises for weeks on end, but assumed that it was a wild animal. They called police once the noises became impossible to ignore. The crawl space was barely 2 feet tall and spanned across the bottom of the house with three different entryways. The family is planning to board up the crawl space as soon as possible.
* Get that HGTV guy Scott McGillivray to come in and remodel that crawl space, turn it into a rental for a college student or something.
* What are they arresting him for? Felony hibernation?
* No, he didn’t HAVE to be naked, but, y’know – California.
* When they drove him down to the police station, he asked if he could ride in the trunk.
* He should be able to stand up straight by Thanksgiving.

WISCONSIN MAN FAKED OWN DEATH, MOVED TO EASTERN EUROPE

A Wisconsin man apparently faked his own drowning this summer, abandoned his family, and fled to eastern Europe. Officials say that on Aug. 12, Ryan Borgwardt, a 44-year-old father of three from Watertown, went missing after he went kayaking on Green Lake. Borgwardt texted his wife at 10:49pm on Aug. 11 saying he was heading to shore. When he didn’t arrive, officials searched and found his vehicle and trailer near the lake, his overturned kayak with a life jacket attached to it on the lake, and his fishing rod. The search for his body went on for more than 50 days in the 100-foot deep lake. For some unknown reason, Canadian law enforcement authorities had run Borgwardt’s name through their databases the day after he was reported missing, which suggested he might have crossed the border. Further investigation revealed that Borgwardt had reported his passport lost or stolen and had obtained a new one in May. An analysis of a laptop shows Borgwardt had planned to head to Europe and tried to mislead investigators. They found passport photos, inquiries about moving funds to foreign banks, and communication with a woman from Uzbekistan. They also discovered that Borgwardt took out a $375,000 life insurance policy in January 2024. The sheriff says, “At this time we believe that Ryan is alive and likely in Eastern Europe. Ryan, if you are viewing this, I plead that you contact us or contact your family. We understand that things can happen, but there’s a family that wants their daddy back.”
* Really? After all that, they want him back? I’d keep the $375,000 and say good riddance.
* On the other hand, he missed the last three months of the election, so more power to ya, Ryan!
* Don’t be like this guy, folks. Before you fake your death and move to Eastern Europe, destroy your laptop.
* As punishment, they should make him stay in Uzbekistan.
* Oppressive government, human rights violations, forced labor, no freedom of speech…Uzbekistan is not one of your better Stans.

AUDIO: WOMAN SEES APARTMENT SHE IS LIVING IN ON A REALITY TV SHOW

A woman in New York City was watching the reality show “Couples Therapy” when she realized the show had been filmed in the apartment she was currently living in. The couple on the show used to live there. The woman, with the TikTok name stefgagz, filmed the TV show couple walking around their apartment, then turned the camera on the space around her and it was identical – the electrical box with the decals on the wall, the unusual tile in the bathroom, the kitchen layout and cabinet work – it was her apartment.
* That IS why it’s called reality TV, you know.
* Is she looking for residuals?
* Sounds like the couple on Couples Therapy broke up and moved out.
* Is she sure they’re not coming in and filming the show while she’s asleep?
* I’ve always wondered what it would be like if you were watching one of those HGTV remodel shows, and the host is walking around the house at the beginning and it’s a real pigsty — holes in the walls, mold everywhere, ugly carpet, broken toilets — and you realize, “Hey, that’s our old house!”
CLIP: Audio of the woman filming first the TV, then her apartment, proving they are the same.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/SameApartment2(dot)mp3

FLORIDA WOMAN PLAGUED BY FROGS

Florida woman Lenora Ramsey posted a TikTok video showing her garage infested with hundreds of baby frogs leaping around. She wrote, “They’re everywhere, all over, in everything. And, they just keep coming in the waves of masses!” The frogs, all about an inch long, were coming in under the closed garage door. Ramsey set up a tray of water for them, to be helpful, and she didn’t want any of them to, uh, croak. By the next morning when Ramsey checked on the frogs in the garage, she noticed that many of them were leaving. She assumed they were heading towards the closest water source near her home.
* But she’s still a little jumpy.
* Now the house smells like frog pee. I suppose it’s a lot like Mountain Dew.
* On the bright side, no insects within a mile of her house.
* Could have been worse. Could have been those 43 monkeys that got loose in South Carolina.
* Well, this story is ribbeting, but we have to move on.

TOYS INDUCTED INTO TOY HALL OF FAME

The National Toy Hall of Fame in Rochester, N.Y., announced this year’s inductees: My Little Pony, Transformers and the card game Phase 10. The nominees that didn’t make it: Apples to Apples, Balloons, Choose Your Own Adventure books, Hess Toy Trucks, the Pokémon Trading Card Game, Remote-Controlled Vehicles, Sequence, the Stick Horse and the Trampoline. The toys were chosen by a combination of Player’s Choice ballots submitted by members of the public and the top picks of the National Selection Advisory Committee.
* The “Selection Advisory Committe” is just the receptionist’s sister’s kids.
* My Little Pony: And a million Brony manboys all “Sqeeeeee!!!” with delight!
* Choosing My Little Pony is kinda rubbing their noses in it for the Stick Horses, no?
* Phase 10? Give any kid the choice between a card game and a trampoline. C’mon, what’re they gonna choose?
* Still, it’s nice to see some voting that doesn’t split the country in half.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CIGARETTE SMUGGLER FLOATS ACROSS RIVER DISGUISED AS A WATER PLANT

A cigarette smuggler moving his load across a river from Paraguay to Argentina tried to disguise himself as a water hyacinth. Argentinian police shone their flashlights at the ‘floating plant’ as it came towards their boat under the cover of darkness. There was a human under all the green leaves, pushing 200 packs of cigarettes in four black boxes tied to his body and also covered with a mix of leaves and artificial plants. The giveaway: no one had ever seen a plant like that floating so fast on top of the water, and it made police take a closer look.
* He not only looked like a water plant, he has the I.Q. of one.
* He would have made it if he’d disguised himself as empty plastic water bottle and other river pollution.
* Too cheap to buy some drones?
* I guess getting caught by police beats getting caught by a crocodile.
* Caught with the evidence. A smoking gun, as it were.

TRENDING

DENZEL WASHINGTON TO RETIRE FROM ACTING (EVENTUALLY)

Denzel Washington says he plans to retire from acting, but not until after the slew of acting projects he has in the works. Washington said during an interview with Australia’s Today Show on Monday. “I want to do things I haven’t done. I’ve played Othello at 22, I’m about to play Othello at 70. After that I’m playing Hannibal. After that I’ve been talking with Steve McQueen about a film. After that Ryan Coogler’s writing a part for me in the next ‘Black Panther.’ After that I’m going to do the film ‘Othello.’ After that I’m going to do ‘King Lear.’ After that I’m going to retire.”

NOMINATIONS FOR THE SONGWRITERS HALL OF FAME

Nominations for the Songwriters Hall of Fame have been announced. A songwriter with a catalog of notable songs qualifies for induction 20 years after their first significant commercial release of a song.
Performing Songwriters (with just a couple of their famous songs):
– Bryan Adams – (Everything I Do) I Do It For You * Heaven * Summer of ‘69
– Boy George – Karma Chameleon * Do You Really Want to Hurt Me
– George Clinton – Atomic Dog * Flash Light * Give Up The Funk
– Sheryl Crow – All I Wanna Do * Soak Up The Sun
– Tom Johnston, Michael McDonald, Patrick Simmons a.k.a Doobie Brothers – Listen to the Music * Black Water * Long Train Runnin’
– Marshall Mathers p/k/a Eminem – Lose Yourself * Stan * Mockingbird
– David Gates – Everything I Own * Make It With You * Baby I’m-A Want You * The Guitar Man
– Janet Jackson – Black Cat * Rhythm Nation
– Tommy James – Mony Mony * Crimson and Clover * Crystal Blue Persuasion
– Mike Love – (co-writer with Brian WIlson) California Girls * I Get Around * Fun, Fun, Fun
– Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know * Ironic * Hand in My Pocket * Thank U
– Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, MC Ren and DJ Yella p/k/a N.W.A – Express Yourself * Dopeman * Straight Outta Compton
– Steve Winwood – Higher Love * Gimme Some Lovin’ * I’m a Man * Valerie

WHO VINCE GILL WANTS TO SING WITH IN HEAVEN

Country star Vince Gill revealed the one artist he would want to sing with in Heaven someday. On a recent episode of Talking in Circles on Peacock, Gill sat down with legendary artist Clint Black, joking about the thought of him even making it to Heaven, but he knew just the icon he’d want to sing with if he gets there: Chet Atkins. As for what song they’d sing? “‘Country Gentleman’ is pretty good,” Gill says. Or, “Any one he played.” Atkins’ “Country Gentleman” came out in 1953. Gill was four years old when it was released.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Nov. 28, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Saturday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:21 a.m. (EST)
Dec. 25, Wednesday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Tuesday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Wednesday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Gerard Butler (actor) … 55
Jimmy Kimmel (talk show host) … 57
Neil Flynn (actor, “Abby’s,” “The Middle”) … 64
Rex Linn (actor, Happy’s Place,” “Young Sheldon”) … 68
Whoopi Goldberg (actress, comedienne, member of “The View”) … 69

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“It’s funny how all of this has worked out – I wasn’t popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I’m throwing up.”

(A) Mel Gibson
(B) David Hasselhoff
(C) Jimmy Kimmel

ANSWER: (C) Jimmy Kimmel

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2017 – The earliest known evidence of wine-making – clay wine pots from 6,000 BC – were uncovered in eastern Europe at Khramis Didi Gora, Georgia.
* They were buried under the earliest known pile of pizza crusts.

1998 – President Clinton agreed to pay Paula Jones $850,000 – with no apology or admission of guilt – ending the four-year legal battle over her sexual harassment lawsuit that spurred impeachment proceedings against him.
* Now let’s get back to the music with “You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hound Dog.”

1952 – False fingernails were first sold on this date.
* They nailed it!

1946 – Artificial snow was used for the first time on a ski slope.
* Leading to the first artificial wipe-outs.

1927 – The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, linking New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River.
* Oh … so then, it DOESN’T actually GO to Holland …

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2012 – The original collage that was reproduced and included in copies of The Beatles’ 1967 classic “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” record sold for $87,720. The piece, which was designed by Peter Blake, was sold to an unnamed bidder as part of an auction of modern British art at Sotheby’s in London.

2005 – In London, Simon Cowell was named Show Business personality of the year by the Variety Club at the show business charity’s annual awards show.

2004 – Rap artist Ol’ Dirty Bastard (real name Russell Jones) collapsed and died at a Manhattan recording studio in New York aged 35. A spokesman for his record company said the rapper had complained of chest pains and was dead by the time paramedics reached him. ODB was a founding member of the Wu-Tang Clan in the early 1990s.

2002 – The three surviving member of Led Zeppelin announced they were re-forming after 22 years for a U.S. stadium tour.

1999 – A report showed that The Spice Girls were the highest earners in pop during the 90’s with their debut album “Spice” selling over 20 million copies. Elton John was second with 14 million sales from “The Lion King.”

1987 – Sonny and Cher reunited for a performance on Late Night with David Letterman.

1973 – Jerry Lee Lewis, Jr. was killed in a car accident near Hernando, Mississippi. Lewis had been working as the drummer in his father’s band.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Given the chance, about 40% of the people who come to your house will do THIS. What is it?
Snoop in your medicine cabinet

2. THIS will cause you to spend twice as much time cleaning your house. What is it?
Having the TV on

3. According to studies, doing THIS at your house will cut your daily calorie intake by 15%. What it is?
Using the front door, instead of a back or side door that’s closer to the kitchen where snacks are

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