RUSSIA ENCOURAGES SEX AT WORK

Meanwhile in Russia, President Vladimir Putin has reportedly encouraged citizens to use their lunch breaks to bolster the nation’s declining population. The government has launched a so-called “sex-at-work” initiative to make babies. Currently, the birth rate stands at around 1.5 children per woman — well below the 2.1 rate needed to sustain population levels. Putin has stressed that boosting the birthrate is of “the highest national priority,” claiming that the survival and future of Russia are at stake. Health Minister Dr. Yevgeny Shestopalov said work is no excuse for not pumping out children. He says, “You can engage in procreation during breaks because life flies by too quickly.”
* Quicker if you’re in the Russian army.
* Putin just ordered the military to add 180,000 more troops, so they’ve got about a week to get cookin’ on this before the draft orders come.
* On the bright side, there are so many choices at work of where to have a romantic encounter – broom closets, behind boxes in the warehouse, the break room …
* Wait – in Russia, do all the husbands and wives work at the same companies, or is this supposed to be a free-for-all?
* America focuses on productivity at work, with Russia it’s re-productivity.
* If the U.S. attacks during lunch hour, we can totally catch Russia off guard.