FRIDAY, Sept 6 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, September 6, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: HUBERT VAN BOUVIER FOR OFFICE – BETTER OFF; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

FIGHT PROCRASTINATION DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“’I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do – the day after.’ – Oscar Wilde. Procrastination can really be the bane of our existence, with another day coming around the corner, there’s no real reason that we can’t put it off till tomorrow is there? Of course not, and tomorrow has another tomorrow, so let’s do it again! It is by this way of thinking that absolutely nothing gets done, and we know good and well that procrastination is us out to get ourselves. But what can we do? Fight Procrastination Day reminds us that it’s up to us to beat this monster, and only we can decide to get up and get done today what was supposed to be done.”

NATIONAL CHIANTI DAY

NATIONAL COFFEE ICE CREAM DAY

NATIONAL READ A BOOK DAY

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

MICHAEL KEATON CHANGING HIS NAME

Actor Michael Keaton, after five decades in show business, has decided he wants to use his birth name. Keaton is a name he says he picked out of a phone book. His real name is Douglas. Michael Douglas. But due to the Screen Actor’s Guild’s rules that no two famous people can have the same name, Keaton now wants to be credited professionally as Michael Keaton Douglas.
* Which is odd, because actor Michael Douglas’ real last name is – not making this up – Beetlejuice.
* And from now on, Michael Keaton’s movies will be known as BeetleDouglasJuice, and BatDouglasMan.
* So what name do we use now when we want to Google something about him?
* At least he’s not changing his name to a symbol like Prince, or to Mike Diddy.
* Michael Douglas is, what now, 105? What’s he gonna do, fight you over it?

THE BUZZ

DOOM PILES

Is your home full of Doom Piles? The phrase has been circulating on social media for a couple of years, but it’s starting to grab a following on TikTok. A Doom Pile is a pile of stuff you just can’t get around to dealing with: unopened mail, papers that need filing, laundry you can’t put away, junk drawers that need organizing, food containers stuck in the back of the refrigerator… Psychologist Michele Leno says Doom Piles are a sign of being distracted or overwhelmed (* or, c’mon, just plain lazy). She notes that one Doom pile can lead to another, and of course “the more piles you create, the more difficult it becomes to tackle the job.” The syndrome is often associated with depression, low motivation, inability to get going on other tasks, and, in some cases, personal care neglect. Here are her tips on dealing with Doom Piles:
– Make your piles visible to prevent the “out of sight, out of mind” issue.
– Set a date and time when you will put things in their rightful place.
– Determine where you will place a new item before you buy it.
– Stop at one DOOM pile so it’s easier to manage.
* PHONE TOPIC: Right now, how many Doom Piles are in your house?

U.S. NEWS

HUMAN BODY COMES DOWN THE RECYCLING CONVEYOR BELT

Workers were sorting trash inside the Republic Services Recycling Center in Farmingdale, New Jersey on Wednesday afternoon when, mixed in with the trash, a dead body came down the conveyor belt. Detectives are working to identify the mystery corpse found in the facility about 40 miles east of Trenton.
* No 55-gallon drum? Not even a big Hefty bag? That’s just disrespectful.
* Did he have a 5 stamped on him anywhere? Because they don’t take 5’s.
* It’s New Jersey. Bodies come down the conveyor belt like “I Love Lucy” at the chocolate factory.
* Not many states have a recycling category for “protein.”
* Boy, the human composting industry has gotten really convenient.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WON’T LET KIDS RECESS AS THEY PLEASE

Parents in Warminster, Pennsylvania, north of Philadelphia, went into revolt after their school district began a new policy of recess for the elementary schools. Children were being separated by class and made to participate in certain activities, instead of the free-to choose recess activity they wanted to do with their friends from other classes. One parent, Jade Thomas, almost teared up describing how sad her 9-year-old son was when he came home from Willow Dale Elementary School. “My son came home and he told me he couldn’t even go on the jungle gym and he was stuck playing soccer for 30 minutes.” (* Horrors.) More than 100 parents packed the gym to voice concerns over the new policy, and the school board reversed it.
* They reversed it? So the school board are jerks AND they’re not jerks?
* There’s no crying in jungle gym! THERE’S NO CRYING IN JUNGLE GYM!
* Sadly, had Jade’s son continued to learn soccer, he was destined to become a millionaire pro with the New York Red Bulls, but whatever.
* Being told what activity to do. Isn’t that called Gym Class?
* “Dammit, we went and built this 8 million dollar soccer stadium for you brats, and by god you’re gonna use it!”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SUSPECT ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE BY DRIVING OVER POLICE CRUISER

Police in Peel, Canada, just outside Toronto, answered a call about a suspicious Ford Bronco at a Tim Horton’s drive-thru. They located the vehicle and determined that it had been stolen. Officers surrounded the stolen vehicle with a number of cruisers, boxing in the suspect. An officer then got out of his vehicle and pointed a gun at the driver. That’s when the Bronco accelerated forward, attempting to drive over a police cruiser to escape. It didn’t work. He made it as far as the hood of the car, shattering the windshield. The driver eventually climbed out of the passenger-side window, and officers then tased and tackled him. The scene unfolded on a warm evening while it was still light out, before a crowd of onlookers.
* …who all said, “Cool, eh?”
* Except for the customers in the drive-thru lane honking at police to get out of the way. Canadians do love their Tim Horton’s.
* Sorry, pal, Ford Broncos are okay, but they’re no Monster Trucks.
* You try to be fast and furious, you end up shocked and stymied.

CANADIANS TAKE BEAR CUB ON ROAD TRIP

Two Canadian men found a bear cub in the middle of the road while driving near Cochrane, northern Ontario, last weekend. It appeared to be injured and they thought it needed rescue, so they loaded it into their van and drove home to Windsor, about ten hours south. Along the way they fed the bear food from Taco Bell. They dropped the bear at the Pet and Wildlife Rescue Center in Chatham. A worker at the center said they didn’t see any obvious injuries to the four-month-old bear but the animal was lethargic and stressed after being in a vehicle for 10 hours. (* Because you know it was all Celine Dion music on the radio all the way.) After keeping it for the night, the center turned it over to a bear rescue organization.
* What does a bear cub eat? I guess they figured bearritos.
* Which is sad, because bears overwhelming prefer KFC.
* You know what they named the bear after 10 hours? Pooh!
* Imagine getting the smell out of the van after that. And the bear smell, too!
* Now the bear is depressed ’cause it’ll never see its friends from daycare again.

CHINESE MAN INHALES COCKROACH IN HIS SLEEP

A Chinese man who felt something crawling up his nose one night noticed he had particularly bad breath for three days before discovering he had a cockroach stuck in his trachea. The 58-year-old man from Haikou said that, as he was sleeping, he woke up with a strange sensation that something was crawling up his nose. Then he felt something go down his throat, so he started coughing, but nothing came out so he just went back to sleep. The following day, he forgot about it and went about his business until he realized he had particularly bad breath. Even after three days, his breath still smelled disgusting, and he also started coughing up yellow sputum, so he decided to seek medical help. He got a chest CT scan which found a shadow, indicating that a foreign object had become stuck there. Using a bronchoscope, the doctor found the object to be a little winged critter. He pulled the bug out from the man’s trachea and the bad breath disappeared completely shortly after. The 58-year-old man made a full recovery and was discharged the next day.
* And the ladies are just lining up to kiss him!
* Until the eggs hatch.
* He didn’t need a bronchoscope, he needed a bottle o’ Scope.
* Time to stop eating snacks in bed.
* Makes you wonder if Willie Nelson ever inhaled a roach.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Idris Elba (actor) … 52
Rosie Perez (actress, “The Flight Attendant”) … 60
Mark Chesnutt (country singer) … 61
Jeff Foxworthy (comedian, actor, TV host) … 66
Jane Curtin (comic actress, “3rd Rock from the Sun”, “Kate & Allie”, “Saturday Night Live”) … 77
Swoosie Kurtz (actress, “Man with a Plan”) … 80
Roger Waters (singer/songwriter, formerly with Pink Floyd) … 81
David Allen Coe (country singer/songwriter) … 85

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“You watch yourself age and it’s hard to feel like a sex symbol.”

(A) Harrison Ford
(B) Clint Eastwood
(C) Idris Elba

ANSWER: (C) Idris Elba

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2001 – Ebay Inc. was found not liable for copyright infringement after bootleg copies of a Charles Manson documentary were sold on the site.
* For you kids, “bootleg copies” was how you got stuff before the invention of torrents.

1997 – More than 2 million people watched the funeral service of Princess Diana that was held at Westminister Abbey.
* Another fabulous money-making “Pay Per View” opportunity missed.

1992 – A 35-year old man died ten weeks after receiving a transplanted baboon liver.
* So, basically, the baboon got even.

1989 – Bon Jovi performed an acoustic version of “Wanted Dead Or Alive” at the MTV Awards, inspiring the idea for the famous “Unplugged” concerts.
* A much better name than what Bon Jovi said – “Ooops, I forgot my electric.”

1975 – Martina Navratilova requested political asylum while in New York for the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament.
* She wanted to live in a land of freedom and democracy … where you could make a ton of money.

1959 – The first Barbie Doll was sold by Mattel Toy Corporation.
* Can you IMAGINE what that doll would be worth today?

1913 – The first “loop the loop” was executed by an airplane.
* Later, the pilot explained to the stunned crowd, “It was an accident! There was a bee in my cockpit and I freaked out!”

1899 – Carnation processed its first can of evaporated milk.
* But – if it was evaporated, what was left in the can?

1620 – The Pilgrims left on the Mayflower from Plymouth, England to settle in the New World.
* Guaranteeing that America would be the most sexually repressed and neurotic of all the Western nations.

1522 – Explorer Ferdinand Magellan’s remaining crew reached the Spanish coast and completed the first ever journey around the world.
* And their luggage was never seen again.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Barbra Streisand extended her U.S. chart record after she scored her 11th No.1 album with her “Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway.” The star had already notched up more chart toppers than any other female artist, and extended her lead over Madonna, who had eight. She also overtook Elvis Presley, who had 10, to tie with Bruce Springsteen.

2011 – A California judge ruled that Madonna did not hold a trademark over the phrase “Material Girl” for her line of clothing just because she wrote a song by that name in 1985. An L.A. retailer called LA Triumph had been using the name “Material Girl” clothing and had registered it as a trademark.

2006 – Victor Willis, who performed as the policeman in The Village People, was given three years probation for drugs offenses. Willis co-wrote some of the group’s biggest hits – including “YMCA” and “In The Navy.”

2001 – Earth Wind and Fire announced that Viagra would sponsor their forthcoming 30th anniversary American tour.

1997 – Elton John recorded a new version of “Candle In The Wind” after performing the song live at Diana Princess of Wales’ funeral. The track went on to become the biggest selling single of all time in the U.S. and UK.

1990 – Tom Fogerty, guitarist with Creedence Clearwater Revival, died at age 49, due to complications from AIDS acquired during a blood transfusion.

1988 – 2,000 items of Elton John’s personal memorabilia including his boa feathers, “Pinball Wizard” boots and hundreds of pairs of spectacles were auctioned at Sotheby’s in London.

1970 – Jimi Hendrix made his final live appearance when he appeared at the Isle Of Fehmarn in Germany. The guitarist died on September 18th of that year after choking on his own vomit while intoxicated with barbiturates.

1969 – After a show in the Memphis Mid-Southern Coliseum, James Brown announced his retirement from live performance after July 4, 1970.

1968 – Eric Clapton recorded his guitar solo on The Beatles’ “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

1961 – Bob Dylan debuted at the Gaslight Cafe in New York City.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. It’s not nice, but 15% of us have done THIS at least once. What is it?
Stood up a date

2. Almost all people who date online do THIS. What is it?
Go after people who are “more desirable” than themselves

3. 75% of people say if someone does THIS on a date, it’s a deal breaker. What is it?
Litter

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