WEDNESDAY, August 21 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, August 21, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Junkers

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL PECAN TORTE DAY

NATIONAL SENIOR CITIZENS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Senior Citizens Day honors our elderly population. On this day, we are encouraged to recognize and show appreciation for the value and contribution of elderly people to home, family and society. In his Presidential Proclamation (August 19, 1988), President Ronald Reagan said ‘For all they have achieved throughout life and for all they continue to accomplish, we owe older citizens our thanks and a heartfelt salute. We can best demonstrate our gratitude and esteem by making sure that our communities are good places in which to mature and grow older.'”

NATIONAL SPUMONI DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Spumoni is an Italian ice cream, originating in Naples, Italy. It was brought to America by immigrants in 1870. While it is enjoyed any day of the year, many people consider it a Christmas time dessert or treat. Spumoni is made of layers of ice cream (usually vanilla, but sometimes chocolate) candied fruits, cherries, and nuts. Pistachios are commonly used. Whipped cream is included in some recipes.”

POET’S DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

THE BUZZ

ANIMALS: THE HAMBONE AWARDS

Nationwide Insurance announced the finalists for this year’s Hambone Award, which celebrates the most unusual pet insurance claims of the year. The Hambone Award is named in honor of a dog who ate an entire holiday ham while stuck in a refrigerator, Here are this year’s nominees. Don’t worry, they all made full recoveries:
– Archie, a New Jersey dog who injured his paws when he broke through a vintage plate glass door while trying to alert his family of the mailman was coming.
– Bear, a Pennsylvania corgi who bit into a bottle of nail adhesive and glued his mouth shut.
-A New Jersey parrot named Clover whose growth spurt caused toenails on her feet to hook together.
– A Florida dog named Irma suffered from gastrointestinal issues that turned out to have been the result of eating metal wire pieces believed to be from a barbecue brush.
– A Virginia dog named Gordon swallowed two large rocks from her owner’s garden.
– Lambeau, a North Carolina dog who ate more than 250 jigsaw puzzle pieces.

HAVING A BAD DAY

According to a new survey of 2,000 Americans, commissioned by Avocado Green Mattress, the average American knows if they’re in for a “bad day” by 8:36 a.m. They also found:
– The average person endures four bad days per month.
– The top five morning mishaps that get your day off to a bad start are: Waking up feeling sick; Having slept poorly; Waking up with a headache; Losing your keys; Forgetting your phone; Running out of toilet paper.
* How about “Getting a call from someone taking a survey”?
* Nothing about discovering you overpaid for a mattress on that list, is there?
* Sorry, but there are billions of people on earth who WISH they could have days this good.
* Want to make sure you won’t know by 8:36 if you’re in for a bad day? Set your alarm for 8:40.

U.S. NEWS

HUNTER ATTACKED BY BEAR, THEN SHOOTS HIMSELF

A hunter was attacked by a brown bear, then accidentally shot himself while he was being mauled. It happened Saturday on Alaska’s Kenai Peninsula. Tyler Johnson, 32, was searching for bears with his father, Chris Johnson, an Alaska Wildlife Trooper, when they spooked the bear in thick brush. As Tyler was being tackled by the bear, he pulled out a pistol but shot himself in the thigh before firing seven more shots into the bear. His father, Chris, also fired shots at the bear, which ultimately died. Tyler suffered severe injuries from the attack to his right leg, as well as the gunshot. It took 90 minutes for a helicopter to arrive and airlift him to hospital. He is expected to recover.
* When asked how he was feeling, he said “Man, I’m shot.”
* So … how much experience did his dad have as a Wildlife Trooper? First week on the job?
* “You want to search for bears in thick brush, Tyler? Okay, no problem – let’s go!”
* It was a bit of a Pyrrhic victory for the bear, wasn’t it? That’s your vocabulary word of the day. Look it up.
* Maybe next year they can just go hunting for antiques instead.

FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED FOR IMITATING A PIZZERIA

A 55-year-old Florida man is facing a felony charge for impersonating a pizzeria. Police say Jose Marti-Alvarez ran a scheme where he would distribute flyers to hotel rooms in Miami Springs, pretending to be Roman’s Pizzeria, a local well-known local pizza parlor. He would deliver a pizza, but it was substandard: “bad, uncooked, sometimes it was just a piece of raw dough.” By the time the tourists complained, he’d be gone with the money, leaving the real Roman’s Pizzeria to handle the complaints. Police said the fraud had been going on for several years. The owner of Roman’s Pizzeria, Jesus Roman, finally went to the police, and Marti-Alvarez was arrested Monday morning.
* Pretty cheesy.
* His scheme collapsed like a row of Domino’s.
* The tipoff should have been when he promised delivery in 5 minutes or less.
* Busted for bad pizza. And yet, Sbarro’s pizza is still allowed in shopping malls.
* Several years doing this? Good thing the real pizzeria jumped right on it.

AUDIO: 9-YEAR-OLD CALLS METS GAME

A 9-year-old New York City boy lived out a fan’s dream Monday night when he got to call an inning at a Mets game. Fourth-grader Kingston Nahm-Korn of Manhattan joined Gary Cohen, Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling in the booth to announce the fourth inning of the Mets-Orioles game. Kingston won his spot in the booth as part of SportsNet New York’s annual Kidcaster Contest — which selects one lucky Mets fan between 9 and 12 years old who demonstrates already superb announcing abilities. Kingston was one of several hundred spirited young baseball fans who submitted an audition video for the contest. The 9-year-old has been practicing for a year. He says he frequently rises around 6:30 a.m. before school to call a game while listening to the Mets – or turns the TV volume off altogether to call the shots by himself.
* He gets to call the Mets. Second place winner has to call a Marlins game. (Or Rockies/White Sox/Nationals/Oakland A’s)
* The Mets got an extra play-by-play announcer for free? I don’t know how much they made in ticket sales for that game, but they should be ashamed.
* When he was done, did he do a mic drop?
* As a bonus, they let him run out on the field during the 7th inning stretch and spit tobacco in front of the dugout.
CLIP: Kingston Nahm-Korn with the play-by-play.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/KidCallsMetsGame(dot)mp3

COMPUTERS THAT SMELL

A company called Osmo wants to build a computer that smells. Osmo is a startup that uses artificial intelligence technology to help computers generate smells like we generate images and sounds. The company’s CEO, Alex Wiltschko, wants to be able to use its technology to teleport scents by digitizing a scent in one location and recreating an exact copy in another location. One reason, he thinks, is to help doctors detect diseases. He notes that some medical conditions give off a particular odor. (* Diarrhea, for instance.) Computers could detect the aromas and analyze the data for a correct diagnosis.
* This is just what you want when you’re Facetiming some 33-year-old greasy, shower-free, basement-dwelling video gamer.
* All the pop-up ads I’m getting really stink. Does that count as a computer that smells?
* My mom’s PC is still running Windows 8 – that computer really stinks, too.
* Does your Dell smell?
* Some startups hit on a great idea and turn into billion-dollar companies. Then there’s this place.

NUDIST CAMP FOR SALE: $32 MILLION

The Lupin Lodge Nudist Resort in Los Gatos, California, is for sale. The asking price is $32.8 million. The resort was created in 1935. It claims to be ‘the oldest nudist camp west of the Mississippi.” (* Wait – I’m sorry, that should say it features “the oldest NUDISTS west of the Mississippi.”) A website for the property describes the retreat as “112 acres of old oaks, redwoods, and deer drinking from the babbling creek” in the Santa Cruz Mountains. It features a tennis court, volleyball court, cabins, hiking trails, and a restaurant/clubhouse.
* …whose seats will now all have to be replaced.
* These hiking trails … any poison ivy?
* $32 million? It’s gonna cost the shirt off your back. And your pants. And underwear. You can keep your hat.
* Sounds like naked greed to me.
* Somebody’s gonna get skinned.
* They say the views are spectacular. And the scenery’s pretty good, too.

TRENDING

PARIS CLUB TRIED TO CHARGE SIMONE BILES $26,000 FOR CHAMPAGNE

Gymnast Simone Biles claims that a nightclub in Paris tried to charge her a hefty price for a bottle of champagne after the 2024 Olympics. The 27-year-old gymnast opened up about her night out in France – following the Olympics’ closing ceremony – in a TikTok video. She says, “We went out. This club tried to charge me $26,000 for a bottle of champagne. Like are you insane?” After noting that she “obviously didn’t buy” the champagne, she said, “But why would you even try to play me like that?”

JENNIFER LOPEZ FILE FOR DIVORCE FROM BEN AFFLECK

As predicted by the gossip magazines, Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage. TMZ reports that Lopez filed the divorce papers in Los Angeles Tuesday — the same day as the two-year anniversary of their second wedding ceremony. Affleck and Lopez were initially together from 2002 to 2004. They ended their first engagement in 2004, and went on to marry and have kids with other people, before rekindling their flame in 2021. Affleck has three kids: Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12, with his first ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, 52, who he split from in 2015 after 10 years of marriage. Lopez is mom to 16-year-old twins Emme and Max with ex-husband Marc Anthony.

MAYA RUDOLPH HASN’T BEEN ASKED TO PLAY KAMALA ON SNL

The media has reported that Maya Rudolph will return to “Saturday Night Live” to reprise her role as Vice President Kamala Harris, whom she has played on a couple of occasions. But during a “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” interview with RuPaul, who filled in for Kimmel on Monday, RuPaul asked, “Will we be seeing Kamala on ‘SNL’ anytime soon?” Rudolph replied by joking, “Interesting that you brought this up, because no one has asked me.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Hayden Panettiere (actress, “Nashville”) … 35
Kacey Musgraves (country singer) … 36
Carrie-Anne Moss (actress, “Tell Me a Story,” “Jessica Jones,” “Matrix” movies) … 57
Kim Cattrall (actress, Samantha on “Sex and the City”) … 68

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“It’s been an amazing journey. It really has. I’m so happy I stuck it out.”

(A) Andy Dick
(B) Louis C.K.
(C) Kim Cattrall

ANSWER: (C) Kim Cattrall

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2017 – A total solar eclipse, visible from North America, occurred – the first since 1979.
* It was a sight for sore eyes. Unless you used special sunglasses.

2000 – Tiger Woods won golf’s PGA Championship to become the first golfer since Ben Hogan in 1953 to win 3 majors in a calendar year. He tied the to-par record for the PGA with Bob May (-18), and won in a playoff. He spent roughly the next ten years as one of the highest-scoring golfers in the world.
* On and OFF the course.

1993 – NASA lost contact with the Mars Observer spacecraft. The mission cost $980 million.
* I still get teary-eyed when I think of how much beer $980 million could have bought.

1991 – An attempted Communist coup in the newly democratized Soviet Union was crushed. At the height of the confrontation, Boris Yeltsin stood on a tank to denounce the hard-liners.
* The biggest fear was that he’d get in and actually drive it.

1888 – The adding machine, a precursor of the modern computer, was patented by William Burroughs.
* Sure, it was primitive – but it never crashed and you didn’t have to update its operating system every two years.

1878 – The American Bar Association was formed by a group of lawyers, judges and law professors in Saratoga, NY.
* All together, now: BOOOOO!

1841 – A patent for Venetian blinds was issued to John Hampton.
* What – they weren’t invented in Venice?

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – It was reported that pills seized from the home of Prince contained the dangerously powerful synthetic opioid fentanyl but were mislabeled. Officials investigating the artist’s death said the pills were labelled as hydrocodone, a weaker type of opioid. Autopsy results released in June, 2016 revealed Prince died of an accidental fentanyl overdose.

2000 – The band Survivor (“Eye of the Tiger”) filed a lawsuit against TVT Records after they released a soundtrack to the TV show “Survivor.” Survivor guitarist Frankie Sullivan said, “It’s unfortunate that after 23 years of building, promoting, and protecting the name of our band, someone can suddenly come along and release a recording that uses our name and takes away everything we have worked for.” Sullivan (owner of the band’s trademark) lost the case, when the court held that he failed to show that consumers would believe that the show’s merchandise and CDs were those of the band.

1982 – U2 singer Bono married Alison Stewart, his girlfriend from 1975 at All Saints Church, Raheny in Ireland. U2 bassist Adam Clayton acted as Bono’s best man.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In a recent survey, half the women and one-quarter of the men said they travel with THIS. What is it?
Their own pillow

2. According to Cosmo Magazine, when men and women go shopping together, 70% of women like to do THIS, while only 20% of men like to do it. What is it?
Hold hands

3. On an average day in the U.S,. about 175 women and 75 men get THIS kind of surgery. What is it?
Rhinoplasty – a “nose job”

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