FRIDAY, July 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, July 26, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE OLYMPICS FANFARE SONG; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL AUNT AND UNCLE DAY

NATIONAL BAGELFEST DAY

NATIONAL COFFEE MILKSHAKE DAY

NATIONAL DISABILITY INDEPENDENCE DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Disability Independence Day on July 26 commemorates the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) on July 26th, 1990. The day not only celebrates the anniversary of the ADA but it also serves as a way to bring awareness and brake down barriers individuals with disabilities faced every day.”

SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR APPRECIATION DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ESPN8: THE OCHO RETURNS WITH OBSCURE SPORTS

ESPN8: The Ocho is set to return to ESPN channels beginning next Thursday, Aug. 1 through Sunday, Aug. 4. The Ocho is ESPN’s annual attempt at fun, bringing you 54-hours of unique, obscure sports. You’ll see:
– Banana Ball: a goofy form of baseball, where games are won by points instead of runs. The team that scores the most runs in an inning gets one point. Except in the final inning, when every run counts as one point. There are also choreographed dances.
– Robot Fighting Championship. (* Robots fight each other, not humans, hopefully.)
– Three Rivers Waiter Waitress Competition: Professional waitstaff slalom through a course designed to cause spills and thrills.
– The Sasquatch Uncut Beard and Mustache Competition (* This year with a menopause division.)
– Speed Jigsaw Puzzling
– Competitive Speed Rubik’s Cubing (* Also known as speed nerding.)
– 2023 World Jump Rope Championships: single rope AND double-Dutch!
– Trampoline World Championship
– Pop-A-Shot Arcade Basketball 2024 National Championship (* Winner gets 50,000 tickets to spend at the prize wall.)
– Zoneball, a sport which combines the best aspects of rugby, football, and soccer (* Come on, there IS no best aspect of soccer.)
– Speed Chess (* Do they have slo-motion replay?)
– Beach Tennis (* Sandy balls and all.)
– Carjitsu – it’s jujitsu inside a small car!
– Paintball Atlantic City Open
– Roofball World Championships: Competition to determine who’s the best at flinging a football at a natural gas vent.
– Adult Big Wheel Races
* Well, the Olympics might as well just pack it in. There’s no beating this.
* But seriously, another obscure sport for ESPN8: Getting ratings.
* Please! How is there no Eating Competition? No Thumb Wrestling? No Cup Stacking?
* Clearly the amount of fun you have will be directly proportional to the amount of beer on hand.

OLYMPIC NOTES: FRIDAY, JULY 26

(Note: Just to remind you that we have daily funny Olympic Updates in the MP3 column on the Main Prep Page. If you have trouble getting to it, contact us and we’ll help you.)
– Lady Gaga to perform: Lady Gaga will perform at the opening ceremony of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games tonight. The ceremony’s lineup of performers has mostly been kept under wraps, but other artists you can expect to see include Celine Dion, Dua Lipa, Ariana Grande and French singer Aya Nakamura.
* Aya Nakamura? These are the French Olympics, not the Tokyo Olympics, right?
– Flying Taxis: Flying taxis will be tested over Paris during the 2024 Olympics, but not with the general public. The VoloCity air taxi, made by Volocopter, has been through more than 2,000 tests, but this will be the first time it will be used in public. The machine has 18 rotors and two seats and is powered by electricity. The air taxi will bypass urban streets to fly quietly (65 decibels) and emission-free in lower airspace. It will transport passengers between key transportation hubs like train stations and airports.
* And you thought you took your life in your hands by riding in a regular French taxicab.
– Australian Swim Coach Hopes Korean Swimmer Wins: Australian swimming coach Michael Palfrey came under fire from his own team on Thursday after saying was pulling for a South Korean athlete to beat his country’s medal contenders. Palfrey is part of the Australian staff at the Olympics, but he previously coached South Korean men’s 400-meter freestyle world champion Kim Woo-min. In an interview with South Korean television, Palfrey said he was pulling for Kim to claim gold in that event, instead of his own team member. Palfrey said, “I really hope he can win, but ultimately I really hope he swims well. Go Korea.”
* Something tells me Go Korea is what he’ll be telling the airplane ticket agent after he gets fired in Paris. “Where you go to?” “Go Korea.”
– Olympians Get Lots Of Swag: The Olympic athletes have been showing off the massive amount of freebies they’ve been getting in “gift bags,” similar to the Oscar Awards gift bags. While athletes from many countries are getting gift bags, here are some items given to the U.S. athletes: There is a Ralph Lauren gift bag which contains polo shirts, shorts, shirts, sweaters, sweatsuits, and two types of Team USA jackets. A Nike bag includes outfits for the athletes to wear for media interviews. A Skims bag includes underwear, a robe, a pajama set, shirts, socks, shorts, swimsuits, a bodysuit, tank tops and T-shirts, bras and underwear. Tennis champion Naomi Osaka, playing for Team Japan, received a variety of Asics-branded sportswear and some instant food packages: miso soup and corn soup. And Samsung gave all the athletes across every nation a Galaxy Z Flip6 phone.
* Underwear and a sweat suit. Makes those 15 years of rigorous daily training worth it.

VINCE VAUGHN BUYS PICKLEBALL TEAM

Actor Vince Vaughn, 54, is becoming a majority stakeholder in a pickleball team. The Coachella Valley Scorpions launched in May, and is one of 12 teams competing in the National Pickleball League’s Champions Pro League, which welcomes players 50 years old and above. Vaughn is also a fan of the sport. He was impressed with the team’s owner, Kim Jagd, and he says, “I was impressed with her, not only as a player, but her passion and style of coaching. I’m excited to support her and the Scorpions on their journey.” The National Pickleball League had its inaugural season in 2023 and doubled the number of teams in the league this season.
* So, buying a pickleball team runs you, what, 80, maybe 100 bucks?
* “Majority stakeholder” means you still have to transport all the equipment in your van, but not pick up the sweaty towels after the match.
* I think he’s investing in it just so he can always have a guaranteed court time.
* Everybody’s 50 years old and above. So Pickleball is the new Bridge.
* Hate to see their monthly bill for Aspercreme.

UNIVERSAL’S ALL-FEMALE MONSTER HAUNTED HOUSE

Universal theme parks in Hollywood and Orlando are introducing an all-new original haunted house for Halloween featuring an all-female group of classic Universal Monsters. Guests will be frightened by The Bride of Frankenstein; Dracula’s daughter Marya; the She-Wolf of London; and the mummified Egyptian princess Anck-Su-Namun.
* Isn’t it scarier if you’ve actually heard of the monsters? Just asking.
* You want scary women? Put everybody in the audience of “The View.”
* If you want to be scared, don’t go on a Thursday. That’s the night they watch chick flicks and do each others’ hair.
* I think for Honorable Mention they could add Flo from Progressive.
* And if you make it through those, they start throwing the REALLY scary female monsters at you:
– Weird Barbie from the movie.
– Carmy’s mom from “The Bear”
– And worst of all, Karen, who wants to speak to your manager.

THE BUZZ

I USED TO EAT IT ALL THE TIME

Reddit asked, “What food did you eat so much that you hate it now?” Some of the responses:
– “My dad used to work at an M&M factory. It was amazing growing up, but I can’t touch chocolate these days.”
– “Sat in a cherry tree as a kid and ate fresh cherries, and ate, and ate… pooped red for a day and can’t stand the sight or smell of them 55 years later.”
– “When I was little I loved olives. Mom once found me with my hand in the jar just stuffing them down my face. Now if I ever eat an olive I struggle to not throw up because of how awful they taste.”
– “Broccoli. Mom would always boil it until all the taste and nutrients were long gone. Then my friend showed my how to steam broccoli just right and serve it with grated cheese to really make it awesome. So I started having it every other meal but then got sick of it again almost overnight.”
– “Mac and cheese. I used to love it as a kid, but then I went on a 4-day camp where we had mac and cheese for lunch and dinner. For ALL 4 days. I’ve never recovered. Can’t stomach it any more.”
– “Anytime I was sick as a kid my grandparents would make me drink at least a 2 liter bottle of 7 Up. Now I can’t drink it or Sprite at all without feeling sick.”
– “Hot pockets. Pretty much grew up on them. Had one like a year ago and it instantly gave me bad memories and I couldn’t eat it.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Is there a food you used to love but now just can’t eat anymore?

U.S. NEWS

ROBBER POSTS SELFIE HOLDING THE LOOT

Four Los Angeles County men were recently indicted for several armed robberies of mostly 7-Eleven stores in South Los Angeles during a nearly two-month crime spree. They were caught when one of them allegedly posted a photo on Instagram of himself holding some of the stolen cash. Investigators discovered an Instagram post of one of the suspects from back on Nov. 28 – Jordan Leonard, who posted a photograph of himself on Instagram holding stacks of cash stolen that day from a 7-Eleven store in South Los Angeles. He captioned it “love my bros we go hit every time.” He also tagged the Instagram accounts of two of the other robbers.
* They should also charge him with felony abuse of grammar.
* He posted on Instagram ’cause he didn’t have any business cards to leave at the crime scene.
* Sometimes you should just stick with pictures of the food you’re about to eat.
* They could save a step and use that picture as his mugshot photo.

ARIZONA EAGLE ASKS POLICE OFFICER FOR HELP FROM THE HEAT

A sergeant with the Mohave County, Arizona, Sheriff’s Office noticed a bird in distress resting under his patrol vehicle. The sergeant and a deputy were able to safely put the bird in the back seat of the patrol vehicle to cool down. The Arizona Raptor Center came to pick up the bird, a young eagle that had apparently become separated from its parents. They estimated that the eagle probably wouldn’t have survived if not for the sergeant’s actions.
* The first case on record where a police officer was happy to get the bird.
* At these temperatures, it’s only a few degrees from a bird rescue and a hot wings dinner.
* Was it a bald eagle? Or so young it’s just thinning on top?
* It was a sweet story right up ’til they found all the droppings on the back seat.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Monica Raymund (actress, “P-town,” “Chicago Fire,” “Chicago P.D.” … 38
Kate Beckinsale (actress, “Underworld” movies) … 51
Jason Statham (actor/action star) is 57
Jeremy Piven (actor, producer, “Entourage”) … 59
Sandra Bullock (actress) … 60
Kevin Spacey (disgraced actor, “House of Cards”) … 65
Roger Taylor (drummer with Queen) … 75
Helen Mirren (actress) … 79
Mick Jagger (singer with The Rolling Stones) … 81

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“People have this obsession. They want you to be like you were in 1969. They want you to, because otherwise their youth goes with you. It’s very selfish, but it’s understandable.”

(A) Clint Eastwood
(B) Jane Fonda
(C) Mick Jagger

ANSWER: (C) Mick Jagger

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2014 – The Chinese government suspended the operations of a Shanghai meat dealer and made arrests after the company sold out-of-date meat to fast food chains, including McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken.
* And you thought fast food was one of the last things left that wasn’t made in China.

1991 – Actor Paul Reubens (Pee Wee Herman) was arrested in Florida, for exposing himself at an adult movie theater.
* “So that’s why they call you Pee Wee!”

1947 – The CIA was established by the National Security Act.
* But you didn’t hear that from us.

1789 – The world’s oldest continuously burning fire was discovered in a bed of coal in Canada’s Northwest Territories. It had been burning for thousands of years, and is still smoldering.
* This is about the hottest story that will ever come out of the Northwest Territories.

1656 – Rembrandt declared himself insolvent.
* You have to give the guy credit for playing it straight. With a good set of colored pencils, he could have drawn himself a fortune in fake money.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2017 – A jury awarded Quincy Jones $9.4 million in royalties after Michael Jackson songs which he produced were used in two Cirque du Soleil shows and the This Is It documentary. Jones filed suit in 2013, asking for $30 million.

2006 – The guitar on which Sir Paul McCartney learned his first chords sold for $680,000 at an auction at London’s Abbey Road Studios. The Rex acoustic guitar helped McCartney persuade John Lennon to let him join his band, The Quarrymen, in 1957.

2001 – Sir Paul McCartney announced his engagement to Heather Mills, the anti-landmine campaigner and former model. The couple split in 2006.

2000 – The celebrity management company Cassandra left dozens of acts hanging when it was rocked by fraud charges, filing for bankruptcy at the Manhattan Bankruptcy Court. Clients included Alanis Morissette.

1992 – Paul Stanley of Kiss married model Pamela Bowen.

1990 – Brent Mydland from The Grateful Dead, 38, was found dead on the floor of his home from a drug overdose. Mydland had replaced keyboardist Keith Godchaux – who died in 1979 – who in turn had replaced Ron “Pigpen” McKiernan – who died in 1973.

1980 – The Rolling Stones started a seven-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Emotional Rescue,” the group’s eighth U.S. No.1.

1977 – Elvis Costello was arrested as he performed outside a CBS Records sales conference at The London Hilton Hotel. He was hoping to interest record executives into giving him an American record deal. He was fined, but CBS invited him to play a proper audition.

1977 – Led Zeppelin cut short a U.S. tour after Robert Plant’s six year-old-son Karac died unexpectedly of a virus at their home in England.

1975 – The Eagles started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “One Of These Nights.”

1969 – Elvis Presley opened his first live engagement in nearly eight years, in Las Vegas.

1968 – The Jackson Five signed a one-year contract with Motown Records.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Roughly half of Americans start planning THIS in the month of March. What is it?
Their summer vacation

2. Sales of THIS crunchy snack go up nearly 65% during the summer months. What is it?
Cracker Jacks

3. 3 out of 4 people say cheaper is better when buying THIS summertime item. What is it?
Sunglasses

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