COCAINE SHARKS

Trace amounts of cocaine have been detected in sharks near Brazil. Brazilian researchers captured 13 Brazilian sharpnose sharks off the coast of Rio de Janeiro. The species is relatively small, measuring under three feet in length, and it feeds mostly on small fish and squid. The scientists dissected them to get samples of their muscles and livers, which were then analyzed for signs of cocaine and related chemicals. The results were shocking: Every single shark tested positive for cocaine. Cocaine makes its way into the ocean through several avenues, including release from inadequate sewage treatment facilities and stray packets dropped into the water by smugglers. Besides sharks, the drug has also infiltrated various forms of aquatic life, including mollusks, crustaceans, and bony fish.
* Obviously all those bales of marijuana lost in the oceans were their gateway drug.
* This explains why, if you are ever attacked by a shark, you can distract them with gold chains. The more the better.
* I believe Keith Richards wrote about snorting sharks in his memoir.
* At least they’re not shooting heroin – after a couple hours of trying to use a hypodermic, they usually give up.
* Boy, the screenplay just writes itself here.