THURSDAY, June 27 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, June 27, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU DAY
The Ibiblio website says this:
“‘Happy Birthday to You’, the four-line ditty, was written as a classroom greeting in 1893 by two Louisville teachers, Mildred J. Hill, an authority on Negro spirituals, and Dr. Patty Smith Hill, professor emeritus of education at Columbia University. The melody of the song ‘Happy Birthday to You’ was composed by Mildred J. Hill, a schoolteacher born in Louisville, KY, on June 27, 1859. The song was first published in 1893, with the lyrics written by her sister, Patty Smith Hill, as ‘Good Morning To All.'”

NATIONAL BINGO DAY

NATIONAL ICE CREAM CAKE DAY

NATIONAL SUNGLASSES DAY

June is:

NATIONAL DJ MONTH – Yeah!
National Adopt a Cat / Adopt a Shelter Cat Month
African-American Music / Black Music Appreciation Month
Corn Month
Great Outdoors Month / National Camping Month
International Men’s Month
Lemon Month
LGBTQIA Pride Month
National Candy Month
National Fresh Fruit & Vegetables Month
National Iced Tea Month
National Rose Month
National Seafood Month
Women’s Golf Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, June 27

“Breaking New Ground”
Max – New Property Renovation Limited Series
Synopsis: Follows Broadway performer, entrepreneur, and educator Robert Hartwell as he takes on the challenge of renovating a 200-year-old house with a complicated history.

“My Lady Jane”
Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: In the 16th century Lady Jane Grey avoids the executioner’s axe and has a fun and fulfilling life, full of romance and adventure.

Season Premieres:
Hulu – “The Bear”
Netflix – “That ’90s Show”

FRIDAY, June 28

“A Family Affair”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Zara, a young woman who works as the personal assistant to self-absorbed Hollywood star Chris Cole, discovers that her boss is having a secret romantic relationship with her widowed mother.

“Fancy Dance”
Apple TV+ – The limited release film comes to streaming
Synopsis: The bond between an Indigenous girl and her aunt proves stronger than ever when their loved one goes missing.

“Owning Manhattan”
Netflix – New Real Estate Sales Show
Synopsis: Real estate mogul Ryan Serhant leads one of the biggest firms in New York and pushes his agents to greatness while tackling the most expensive listings.

“WondLa”
Apple TV+ – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Forced to flee her underground sanctuary for Earth’s surface, Eva discovers a world unlike anything she expected; as she journeys across perilous terrain and unknown civilizations, Eva asks whether she is the last human.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “The Mole”

RULES OF THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

President Biden and former President Donald Trump will face off in the first presidential debate of the 2024 general election tonight – Thursday – in Atlanta. The event starts at 9 p.m. ET and will run for 90 minutes. It will be moderated by CNN’s Jake Tapper and Dana Bash and take place at the network’s studios in Atlanta. As you’ve probably heard, there will be different rules to this debate:
* Before the debate, both candidates will undergo a search for illegal substances in their neck wattles.
* 10 points will be awarded for every sentence that contains a subject, a verb and a point.
* For help answering a question, candidates will only be allowed one “Phone A Friend” call each half hour.
* There will be a doctor on hand in case of an emergency. Well… not a DOCTOR doctor, a plastic surgeon – in case something slips in either of the candidate’s facelifts.
* No, just kidding. But there will be a nurse on hand to check the candidates’ blood pressure – Trump’s, to make sure it doesn’t get too high; and Biden’s, to make sure he actually has some.
* No sneaking over to the other guy’s microphone when they cut yours off.
* There’ll be an easy chair behind each candidate, first one to sit down loses.
* The debate will end promptly after 90 minutes, so the candidates can go home and watch the season premier of “The Bear” on Hulu.

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Sandwich From New England Has Fascinating Story”
2. “When Does Booze Go Bad?”
3. “I’m Divorcing My Husband Because He Screws Jar Lids Too Tight ”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “The Dangers Of Sneezing”

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN THROWS LIVE TARANTULA DURING RENTAL DISPUTE

In Edina, Minnesota, a woman was arrested for allegedly tossing a live tarantula at her renter during a fight. Marisa Simonetti, 30, rented a room to Jackie Vasquez several weeks earlier via a short-term rental website — but claims Vasquez refused to get out when the contract was up. The fight erupted when Simonetti accused Vasquez of being a squatter. Vasquez said Simonetti threw the tarantula and other pieces of junk at her during the dispute. As a side note, Simonetti is planning on running for Hennepin County Commissioner. She says, “I’m good at creatively solving problems, and at the end of the day, I didn’t physically harm anybody.”
* Any politician who can spin the facts that good deserves your vote.
* She throws tarantulas. She’d make a good Bond villain.
* Not-So-Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Lady.
* Good luck finding another renter now that the world knows there’s a tarantula loose in the house.
* On the bright side, the cockroaches are gone.

ENTIRE HELL’S ANGELS CHAPTER ARRESTED

The entire chapter of the Bakersfield, California, Hells Angels Motorcycle Club was arrested as part of a kidnapping, robbery and assault probe. Arrested were five active members of the club’s Bakersfield chapter, and… and… just five? OK, whatever. The five ranged in age from 31 to 57. Officials confiscated 25 guns, rounds of ammunition and gang regalia. The charges included kidnapping, robbery, making criminal threats, assault with a firearm, participation in a criminal street gang, intimidating a witness or victim and elder abuse.
* Also felony obsolescence.
* What year is it in Bakersfield? 1973?
* Hell’s Angels? Ooo, I’m scared! Look, if you want to tremble in your shoes, check out the 30-year fixed mortgage rates.
* Who joins a motorcycle gang anymore? Oprah’s Book Club has more members. And it can be just as violent.

AUDIO: WHEEL OF FLORIDA MAN – BEACH-GOER ATTACKED BY ___________

Here’s another edition of Wheel of Florida Man! Play the sounder, read the headline,and have listeners guess the missing word.
SOUNDER URL:morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/WheelOfFloridaMan-Intro(dot)mp3
Headline: “A Florida Woman At The Beach Was Attacked By A ___________.”
Answer: A beach umbrella
Sybil Licht was visiting Cocoa Beach, Florida, last Saturday with her family when she somehow became impaled on their rental beach umbrella. Details of exactly how it happened were not released (* Come on, it was the wind. This isn’t hard.) but the umbrella pole became impaled in Licht’s leg. First responders had to use bolt cutters to remove the umbrella canopy from the pole, which kept moving in the wind while still stuck in the victim. Her condition is unknown.
* Hope they paid for the damage insurance on that rental umbrella, or that’s really gonna suck.
* It’s the wind’s way of playing lawn darts.
* Here’s a crazy idea – how about sticking the pole in the sand BEFORE you open the umbrella?
* Umbrella pole sharpener – there’s a job you don’t hear much about.
* The sharks and the umbrellas must have a deal worked out – if one doesn’t get you, the other will.

PATIENT STAYS AWAKE DURING KIDNEY TRANSPLANT

A patient was wide awake during his own kidney transplant at Northwestern Memorial Hospital hospital in Chicago. John Nicholas, 28, underwent the surgery on May 24 and “felt no pain” as doctors decided against general anesthesia, and instead opted for a spinal anesthesia shot. The procedure took under two hours to complete. Mr. Nicholas was discharged from the hospital and at home in less than 24 hours, whereas normal hospitalization for kidney transplant patients is two or three days. Dr. Satish Nadig, one of the transplant surgeons, said, “This is the first case at Northwestern Medicine where a patient was awake during an entire kidney transplant procedure.”
* On purpose!
* The downside is two hours of the patient going, “Are you done yet? Are you done yet? Is it in? Are you done yet?”
* Plus the surgeons can’t curse or make jokes about his body.
* If the normal hospital stay is three days, why did they kick him out in less than 24 hours? Bad breath?
* The donor was asleep, of course. He hadn’t yet woken up in the ice bath in the motel bathtub.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

ROBOT COMMITS SUICIDE

The city council in Gumi, South Korea said Wednesday their administrative officer robot threw itself down some stairs. Local media is calling it the country’s first robot suicide. The robot worked from 9 am to 6 pm, delivering documents to various departments in the building. It could call an elevator and travel to different floors on its own. Witnesses saw the robot “circling in one spot” before it took a dive CPU-first down the staircase, but the exact cause of the fall is still being investigated.
* So far, the only clue to the robot’s suicide is that the copy machine is pregnant.
* The elevator dared it to try the stairs?
* It had a screw loose?
* Does the guy who used to deliver the documents have an alibi?
* It left a note saying it was sick of all the office politics.
* It’s sad when you see an employee go to pieces.

DENMARK TO TAX COW FARTS

Denmark is planning to tax livestock farmers for the greenhouse gases emitted by their cows, sheep and pigs. The aim is to reduce Danish greenhouse gas emissions by 70%. Starting in the year 2030, Danish livestock farmers will be taxed 300 kroner ($43) per ton of carbon dioxide. That tax will increase to 750 kroner ($108) by 2035. A typical Danish cow produces 6 metric tons (6.6 tons) of CO2 equivalent per year.
* For god’s sakes, stop feeding them cheese!
* Sounds like Denmark is trying to milk the FARMERS.
* The law doesn’t take effect for six more years because it’s going to take that long to find enough people to stand behind every cow and make a checkmark every time they fart so they can figure the tax.
* Will the gassy cows be adjusted for inflation? Har!!!

TRENDING

COLIN JOST WILL DO OLYMPIC SURFING COMMENTARY FROM TAHITI

Saturday Night Live’s Colin Jost – like several of the show’s cast members – will be joining NBCUniversal’s Olympics coverage. But Jost gets a plum assignment. He will be traveling to Tahiti, where the surfing competition will be held. The Pacific island is part of French Polynesia. Jost, a surfer, will interview athletes on the beach, while the actual surfing commentary team will call the action remotely from NBC Sports’ broadcast center in Stamford, Connecticut.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

July 4, Thursday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Khloe Kardashian (reality star) … 40
Toby Maguire (actor, producer, director, “Spider-man”) … 49
J.J. Abrams (screenwriter, director, producer) … 58
Vera Wang (fashion designer) … 75
Bruce Johnston (singer with the Beach Boys) … 82

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I have no illusions at all about being a sex symbol. None of my former girlfriends ever thought of me that way, and I don’t have any packs of women chasing me down the street like a Brad Pitt or someone like that.”

(A) Steve Buschemi
(B) John Goodman
(C) Toby Maguire

ANSWER: (C) Toby Maguire

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 – More than 735,000 phone numbers were registered on the first day of a national do-not-call list aimed at blocking unwelcome solicitations from telemarketers.
* A really good day for anybody in the junk mail industry.

1995 – Actor Hugh Grant was arrested in Los Angeles for engaging in “lewd behavior” with a prostitute in a rented BMW.
* He left Liz Hurley home for that? He should have pleaded insanity.

1969 – Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City’s Greenwich Village, clashed with police. The incident is considered to be the birth of the gay rights movement.
* Which refused to be stonewalled.

1929 – Scientists at Bell Laboratories in New York revealed a system for transmitting television pictures.
* And it was all downhill from there.

1906 – The first automobile race featuring an enclosed circuit was held at Le Mans, France.
* Finally, fans didn’t have to run alongside the cars to see who won.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Chris Squire, the bass guitarist and co-founder of 1970s British progressive rock band Yes, died at the age of 67 after battling leukemia. He was the only member to appear on each of their 21 studio albums, released from 1969 to 2014.

2012 – The chief medical officer of Russia said that The Beatles were to blame for the country’s drug problem. Yevgeny Bryun, the nation’s medical chief, said that the country’s youth first got introduced to the idea of drug-taking when The Beatles traveled to India to “expand their minds.” Bryun added that it was after this news entered public consciousness that people in Russia realized you could make money from the sale of drugs. “When business then realized it was possible to make money from this, goods associated with pleasure, that was when the growth in the demand for drugs started.”

2009 – Black Eyed Peas went to No.1 on the U.S. album charts with “The E.N.D.” the group’s fifth studio album. The album’s lead single “Boom Boom Pow” topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 12 consecutive weeks, the second single, “I Gotta Feeling” replaced “Boom” and spent 14 weeks at No.1. giving the group 26 consecutive weeks at the top of the charts.

2002 – On the eve of a new American tour, The Who’s bass player John Entwistle died in his sleep, age 57, of a heart attack in his Las Vegas hotel room.

1994 – Aerosmith became the first major band to let fans download a full new track free from the internet.

1991 – Carlos Santana was arrested at Houston Airport when officials found cannabis in his luggage.

1989 – Tom Jones was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

1988 – The Fat Boys filed a $5 million lawsuit against The Miller Beer Company following a TV commercial featuring three overweight rappers clad in Fat Boys-style Davy Crockett hats. Miller Beer settled out of court.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. During a family vacation, 80% of parents let their kids do THIS. What is it?
Stay up past their bedtime

2. In a survey, nearly 80% of children said they’ve lied about THIS to their parents. What is it?
Brushing their teeth

3. According to a recent survey, the average parent has 15 of THESE per day. What is it?
Minutes of free time

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