THURSDAY, Mar 28 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, March 28, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL BLACK FOREST CAKE DAY

RESPECT YOUR CAT DAY

SOMETHING ON A STICK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Something on a Stick Day celebrates things on a stick. Isn’t this just a neat day? We thought you’d agree. So what comes on a stick? Practically anything. The first thing that comes to mind is popsicles and fudgecicles. Hotdogs are poplar on a stick at campfires. There’s also corndogs, and shrimp and many Chinese treats. Cocktail wieners and cheese are picked and eaten on a stick (a toothpick). You can also get just about anything on a stick when receiving food samples at a store or festival. Celebrate this fun day by serving food for meals and snacks on a stick. The kids will love it. So will you! BTW: We are glad that today is Something on a Stick Day and not Something on a Shingle Day!”

WEED APPRECIATION DAY (No, not THAT kind of weed)
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Weed Appreciation Day reminds us that some weeds are beneficial to us and our ecosystem. Humans have used weeds for food and as herbs for much of recorded history. Some are edible and nutritious, while other weeds have medicinal value.”

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, Mar 28

“The Baxters”
Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: Family drama that follows Elizabeth and John Baxter and their five adult children. The Baxters must come together as a family to work through the challenges of life in this faith-based journey.

“We Were the Lucky Ones”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: Historical limited series follows a Polish Jewish family separated at the start of World War II as they struggle against the odds to survive and reunite.

Season Premiere:
Prime Video – “American Rust: Broken Justice”

FRIDAY, Mar 29

“A Gentleman in Moscow”
Paramount+ – New Series
Synopsis: After recently returning to Russia from Paris, aristocrat Count Alexander Ilyich Rostov spends decades banished to an attic hotel room following the October Revolution, after being sentenced to house arrest by a Bolshevik tribunal.

“Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show”
HBO – New Reality Show
Synopsis: The comedian makes himself the subject of a reality show, with everything from uncomfortable conversations with his parents about his sexuality to his experiences with dating.

“Madu”
Disney+ – New Documentary
Synopsis: Follows 12-year-old Anthony Madu as he leaves his family and community in Nigeria to study at one of the most prestigious ballet schools in the world in England.

“Renegade Nell”
Disney+ – New Series
Synopsis: Nell Jackson finds herself framed for murder and becomes a female highwayman in 18th century England, becoming the most feared highwaywoman in the country. But when a magical spirit called Billy Blind appears, Nell realizes her destiny is bigger than she ever imagined.

“The Beautiful Game”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Based on the Homeless World Cup, a real-life soccer tournament that spotlights unhoused athletes from around the world, following the English team and their coach as they prepare for the global tournament.

Season Premieres:
Apple TV+ – “Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock”
Netflix – “Is It Cake?”

SUNDAY, Mar 31

“Parish”
AMC – New Series
Synopsis: Follows a taxi driver whose life is turned upside down when he agrees to pick-up a Zimbabwean gangster mostly known for exploiting undocumented immigrants at the U.S. southern ports. Starring Giancarlo Esposito – Gus Fring in “Breaking Bad” – who has been in a million TV shows since, and now gets his own.

ARIZONA THEATERS SHOWING ALL 9 STAR WARS MOVIES ON MAY THE 4TH

May 4 is recognized around the world as the unofficial Star Wars holiday. To celebrate the day, Harkins movie theatres at the Tempe, Arizona, Marketplace is hosting a “Star Wars” movie marathon that includes all nine films shown over the course of about 22 hours. They’ll be shown in numerical order, meaning the good ones will be in the mid-afternoon and early evening. The cost for the marathon is $60, which includes all nine films, a mini one-sheet poster, a commemorative lanyard and discounted concessions.
The schedule is:
7 a.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace”
9:30 a.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 2 – Attack of the Clones”
Noon: “Star Wars: Episode 3 – Revenge of the Sith”
2:30 p.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 4 – A New Hope”
4:45 p.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 5 – The Empire Strikes Back”
7 p.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 6 – Return of the Jedi”
9:30 p.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 7 – The Force Awakens”
Midnight: “Star Wars: Episode 8 – The Last Jedi”
2:40 a.m.: “Star Wars: Episode 9 – The Rise of Skywalker”
* You had me at “commemorative lanyard.”
* Boy, 7 a.m. is way too early in the morning to have to deal with Jar-Jar.
* May the seat cushion be with you.
* You might get that theme music out of your head by Christmas.
* After the last movie, they’re going to show “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” just because.
CLIP: Bill Murray sings The Star Wars theme.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/09-15-BillMurraySingsStarWars(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Here’s Why Swedes Are Scarfing Down Waffles Today”
2. “There’s A Hidden Little Hole In Your Refrigerator, And It’s Disgusting”
3. “What’s The Point Of Mid-Grade Gasoline?”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “What Does The ‘Dry Clean Only’ Label Mean?”

PANCAKE STATES AND WAFFLE STATES

Do you live in a pancake state or a waffle state? Someone at the Associated Press did a check to find out which states had the most Google searches for pancakes and which had the most searches for waffles. (* Then they were fired for goofing off.)
– Top 5 Waffle states: Minnesota, Utah, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine
– Top 5 Pancake states: Hawaii, Utah, Oregon, Alaska, New Hampshire
* Look how Utah and New Hampshire are sneaking in for seconds.
* This is like looking for the difference between a burrito and an enchilada. It’s the same thing!
* No love for French toast?
* Many other states just skip breakfast, ’cause who has the time, amirite?
* I guess AP has enough reporters to cover the bridge collapse, Ukraine, Gaza, China, Russia, the election, the economy, the border and March Madness. Somebody has to cover the waffle beat.

U.S. NEWS

FRONT END LOADER CHASE

There was an exciting front end loader chase in Gwinnett Village, Georgia, last Saturday. A former employee stole a 75,000-pound frontloader from a waste management facility. The suspect drove the loader out of the facility, onto Jimmy Carter Boulevard and continued onto other roads in the area. Police were unable to stop it because of its size, so an employee of the waste management company grabbed another front end loader and gave chase. The two eventually met about five miles from the facility, and the pursuer was able to flip the suspect’s loader onto its side. The 38-year-old suspect was arrested.
* It looked sort of like a slow-motion version of Battlebots.
* Subtlety is not the suspect’s strong suit.
* Maybe stealing a front end loader was on his bucket list.
* Where’s Optimus Prime when you need him?
* Has anybody seen the dump truck?

FLORIDA DOG DIGS UP OLD BOMB NEXT TO HOUSE

In Jacksonville, Florida, a dog digging in her owner’s yard dug up a decades-old military bomb. Mathew Sims said his dog, Baby, was playing in his yard when she started digging at something. He started pulling it up and quickly put it back down when he saw is was a bomb, about a foot long and weighing around 10 pounds. The bomb squad said it was an old unexploded piece of military ordnance, a 120-millimeter mortar round, likely buried for decades. During World War II there was a U.S. Naval Air Station at Jacksonville which served as a pilot training facility.
* Oh. I thought it might be a remnant from the war between Jacksonville and Gainesville.
* So, in the military, you don’t steal Post-It Notes and printer paper from work, you steal artillery shells?
* What kind of dog was it? A Bomberanian? A Bombsheltie?
* Poor little Baby could have been mortarfied.
* “Nice job, Baby! You da’ bomb!”

ROBODOG SHOT DURING POLICE STANDOFF

A Massachusetts State Police robot dog was shot during a standoff on Cape Cod. The robot dog, known as Roscoe, was one of Boston Dynamics’ well-known dog-style robots. A SWAT team was dealing with a man barricaded in a home in Barnstable on March 6. Police sent in three robots, including Roscoe, to find where in the building the suspect was holed up. Roscoe cleared the top two floors of the building, then discovered him, holding a rifle, in the basement. The suspect knocked the robot dog down, then started to walk up the stairs, but, when Roscoe righted itself and started following him up the stairs, he knocked the dog over again, then shot it three times. Police lost communication with the robot. They eventually took the suspect into custody after they sent tear gas into the house. The day after Roscoe was shot, it was returned to Boston Dynamics to have the bullets removed and the damage assessed. State police are getting a replacement.
* It’s like Turner & Hooch, only with a happy ending.
* New movie: “All Dogs Go to the Repair Shop.”
* “Your…bullets…are…useless…against…me…arf…arf…”
* I think I would move “Use tear gas” up to Step One.
* The only flaw in the operation was when the robot dog started humping the house Roomba.

IT WILL NOW COST $15 TO DRIVE INTO NEW YORK CITY (ON TOP OF BRIDGE & TUNNEL TOLLS)

New York is going to be the first U.S. city with congestion tolls on drivers entering its central business district. The Metropolitan Transportation Authority board on Wednesday greenlit the congestion pricing plan, expected to go into effect in June. There will be a $15 toll on most commuter passenger vehicles that drive into Manhattan south of 60th Street – south of Central Park – during daytime hours. Tolls are higher for larger vehicles, and lower for late-night entries into the city, as well as for motorcycles and low-income drivers. The fee is expected to raise $1 billion per year to fund public subway and bus systems, and also push more people to use public transport in order to reduce congestion to speed up public buses and emergency vehicles, and reduce pollution.
* Still cheaper than visiting (Las Vegas/Atlantic City) for a day.
* $15 – there goes the money for that hamburger you were going to buy for lunch.
* There’s a lot of text messages going around saying “I’ll take you across in my trunk for $10.”
* Wouldn’t they make more money if they charged people trying to leave?
* Good time to open a bicycle store.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WOMAN ARRESTED, SUED FOR ONLINE REVIEW OF TOMATO PASTE

A Nigerian woman is in a little trouble after posting an online review of a can of tomato puree. Last September, Chioma Okoli, a 39-year-old entrepreneuer from Lagos, asked her 18,000 followers on Facebook to share their opinions about a tomato puree she bought in place of her usual brands. She thought it was too sweet. One of the comments said, “Stop spoiling my brother’s product. If you don’t like it, use another one.” Ms. Okoli responded: “Help me advise your brother to stop killing people with his product, yesterday was my first time of using and it’s pure sugar.” A week later she was arrested, charged with “instigating people against Erisco Foods,” the manufacturer of the tomato puree. For this, she faces 10 years in jail and a $7,000 fine. In addition, she is being sued in a separate civil case brought by Erisco, which claims her comments caused several suppliers to pull their products from stores, and they also suffered the loss of multiple credit lines. Erisco is seeking more than $3 million in damages. She is now gearing up for the two legal battles with her defense largely based on the right to freedom of speech.
* Nah – her defense should be she was being impersonated by AI.
* Tomato paste that’s loaded with sugar? America says, “How do I get my hands on that?”
* I guess Nigeria isn’t a big fan of hyperbole.
* Normally, I wouldn’t have a problem with the government locking up people who use the internet to comment on food, but this is excessive.
* She could solve the whole issue by claiming she mistook the tomato paste for ketchup.

TRENDING

RACCOON WINS CADBURY BUNNY COMMERCIAL CONTEST

Every Easter brings back the famous Cadbury Bunny Auditions commercial. For awhile now, the company has been holding an annual contest where people can submit their pet to be one of the auditioners. This year’s winner has been chosen: it’s a raccoon named Louie, a 2-year-old pet from Miami, Florida. Louie will have a role in next year’s Cadbury Bunny Tryouts commercial.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TOMORROW – Vietnam War Veterans Day
March 31, Sunday – Easter
April 1, Monday – April Fools Day
April 8, Monday – Total Solar Eclipse
April 15, Monday – U.S. Tax Day
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Lady Gaga (singer, actress, real name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) … 38
Vince Vaughn (actor) … 54
Rodney Atkins (country singer) … 55
Salt (singer with Salt ‘n’ Pepa, born Cheryl James) … 58
Reba McEntire (country singer, actress, judge on The Voice) … 69
Dianne Wiest (actress, “Life in Pieces”) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I love going hiking on Saturdays and Sundays with my girlfriends for exercise and fun.”

(A) Rosie O’Donnell
(B) Oprah Winfrey
(C) Reba McEntire

ANSWER: (C) Reba McEntire

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2013 – Pope Francis became the first Pope to wash the feet of women in the Maundy Thursday service (Thursday before Easter).
* How much do you tip for something like that?

1979 – The Three Mile Island nuclear power plant near-meltdown occurred.
* They say you could hear the “OOPS!” from Pennsylvania to Colorado.

1972 – Basketball great Wilt Chamberlain played his last pro basketball game.
* But retirement had no effect on his scoring streak, if you know what I mean.

1885 – The U.S. Salvation Army officially organized.
* There’s a name that rings a bell.

1881 – The circus extravaganza “The Greatest Show On Earth” was formed by P.T. Barnum and James A. Bailey.
* It stood as the biggest single gathering of human oddities until reality TV.

1865 – Outdoor advertising legislation was enacted in New York. The law banned “painting on stones, rocks and trees.”
* So subway cars were still fair game for graffiti artists.

1797 – Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine.
* Unfortunately, since the U.S. didn’t have quarters yet, he had to wait a long time to do the first load.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – Tickets for Kate Bush’s first live shows in 35 years sold out in less than 15 minutes. Demand was so high that the singer’s own website, as well as some ticket-selling sites, crashed as people tried to log on.

2013 – Justin Bieber ran into some trouble at Munich airport when customs officials detained and quarantined his monkey, because he didn’t have the documentation required to bring his new friend into Germany. Bieber then virtually abandoned the monkey, and it eventually ended up in a German wildlife refuge.

2006 – Tina Brown, the sister-in-law of Whitney Houston, sold pictures taken in her bathroom to the National Enquirer claiming Whitney Houston had been taking crack cocaine. The pictures showed drug paraphernalia including a crack-smoking pipe, rolling papers, cocaine-caked spoons and cigarette ends strewn across the surface tops of the bathroom.

2001 – The artist formerly known as both Puffy and Puff Daddy told MTV he now wanted to be known as P. Diddy.

2000 – Jimmy Page accepted substantial undisclosed libel damages from a magazine which claimed he had caused or contributed to the death of his Led Zeppelin bandmate John Bonham. Page’s lawyer told the judge that the feature in Ministry magazine claimed Page was more concerned with keeping vomit off his bed than saving his friend’s life, and that he stood over him wearing Satanist robes and performing a useless spell.

1996 – Phil Collins officially left Genesis.

1995 – Singer/songwriter Lyle Lovett split from wife Julia Roberts.

1992 – Over $100,000 worth of damage was caused at The Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre, California, when Ozzy Osbourne invited the first 2 rows of the audience on stage. Many more people took up the offer and the band was forced to exit the stage.

1982 – David Crosby was arrested in Los Angeles, for possession of Quaaludes and drug paraphernalia, driving under the influence of cocaine, and carrying a concealed .45-caliber pistol.

1981 – Blondie started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Rapture,” the group’s fourth U.S. No.1.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. On average, THIS usually lasts 5.75 seconds. What is it?
A yawn

2. Experts say that if you do THIS, you should do it for at least six seconds. What is it?
Hug someone

3. On the average, THIS will take 2 minutes and 49 seconds. What is it?
A trip through a fast food drive-thru

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