WORLD’S OLDEST LIPSTICK FOUND

Researchers have identified what is believed to be the world’s oldest known lipstick – a small, ornate 2-inch stone vial containing a deep red paste. Researchers believe it was probably a lip paint, rather than a solid lipstick, because they have no idea about the original consistency of the substance in the vial. The item was carbon dated and shown to be from the Bronze Age, between 1936 B.C. and 1687 B.C. The lipstick vial was discovered in southeastern Iran.
* Wait – what woman has just one shade of lipstick? Keep digging – there’s got to be at least two dozen more.
* Do they know who made it? Maybe it’s Maleek-alline.
* It’s called the Bronze Age because that’s also when the invented bronzer.
* What we do know is that, since it was found in Iran, whoever’s lipstick it was probably got arrested for it.
* The second-oldest lipstick was located in the back of my wife’s makeup drawer. I think she’s had it since junior high.