WILLY WONKA WONDERLAND JUST A WANK

In Glasgow, Scotland, the internet ads went out for something called “Willy’s Chocolate Experience,” an immersive indoor wonderland of candy forests, a jellybean waterfall, flying horses, giant mushrooms and live Oompa Loompas, all based on the most recent Willy Wonka movie. There was also to be an Enchanted Garden, an Imagination Lab, and a Twilight Tunnel. Tickets were £35 (about $45) for an afternoon of activities. Hundreds of parents arrived with their children, some traveling for hours. What they found was – now imagine this – a large, empty factory space, with a couple of rented Christmas decorations, like one giant candy cane, a large plastic lollipop, a couple of large mushrooms, a little fake green hedge, and a few 8×10-foot painted scrims hung up on the bare factory walls – things you would find at a shopping mall Santa display. Decorations that wouldn’t fill the average bedroom space were randomly scattered throughout the warehouse. The “whimsical” Oompa Loompas turned out to be struggling actors reciting scripts that they had received the night before the event. Upon entering, many kids burst into tears, and the parents called police. The organization behind the event, which call themselves House of Illuminati, reportedly offered 850 customers full refunds and canceled the event before the end of the day.
* Yeah, good luck finding them.
* I’ll bet nobody got a Golden Ticket, either.
* I knew the Illuminati were evil. Apparently they’re also very mean.
* In case you’re wondering what that Fyre Festival guy is doing now, this is it.
* I bet the Oompa Loompas didn’t get paid squat either, just like in the movies.
(NOTE: check out the slideshow at https://gizmodo.com/cops-called-to-willy-wonka-experience-as-crying-childre-1851290088 )
* PHONE TOPIC: This is apparently a fairly common thing, at least in the UK. A company will advertise a fantastic event on the internet with artistic renderings and a fancy sales pitch, and in the end it’s just an empty warehouse. Have you ever been suckered into a bad roadside attraction or tourist trap?