WEDNESDAY, Feb 7 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, February 7, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Voice Mail

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BALLET DAY

DUMP YOUR SIGNIFICANT JERK DAY

e DAY
The Time And Date website says this:
“e-Day celebrates the mathematical constant e, which has a value of 2.7182818. It is celebrated on February 7 in countries that follow the month/day (m/d) date format. This is because the first two digits of the date – 2/7 – correspond to the first two digits of the constant. Also known as Euler’s number, after the Swiss mathematician Leonhard Euler, e is an irrational number that represents the idea that all continually growing systems are a scaled version of a common rate. It is mostly used in logarithms, exponential growth, and complex numbers. It is one of the most important numbers in mathematics, including 0, 1 and pi.”

NATIONAL FETTUCCINE ALFREDO DAY

SEND A CARD TO A FRIEND DAY

February is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
African American History Month
Celebration of Chocolate Month
International Boost Self Esteem Month
International Friendship Month
National Bird Feeding Month
National Snack Food Month
National Sweet Potato Month
Spunky Old Broads Month
Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ESPN, FOX SPORTS AND WARNER TO MASH ALL THE SPORTS TOGETHER ONTO ONE STREAMER

ESPN, Warner Discovery and Fox Sports announced Tuesday that they will partner to create a massive new streaming network dedicated to sports. The service is scheduled to launch in the fall and will include broadcasts from the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL and other professional sports leagues. Disney CEO Bob Iger called the new service a “major win for sports fans”.
* …who want to spend even more money watching games that used to be free on network TV.
* Stadium’s sold out? We’re going to find a way to charge you to watch the game, one way or another.
* If I’m gonna have to start paying for all the sports,where am I going to get the money for betting on the games?
* Sports franchise owners say, “It takes a lot of money to stay this rich, you know.”
* Please, just don’t call it “Planet Sports.” Please.

THE BUZZ

IRRATIONAL ANGER

Reddit asked, “What makes you irrationally angry?” Some of he responses:
– “When people leave from my room/office and don’t close the door.”
– “Loud chewing.”
– “Leaf blowers.”
– “Seeing James Corden in anything, he boils my blood.”
– “Having something, knowing that I have it, but I don’t know where it is so I can’t use it.”
– “The one person who is walking very slowly but also weaving from side to side so they’re hard to get around.”
– “People driving slowly in the fast lane.”
– “People telling me what to do when I’m about to do it or am already doing it.”
– “When my electronics don’t work today like they did yesterday. Stop changing things!”
– “Commercials with a guy and a girl that make the guy look stupid and the girl look all smug about it.”
– “Tomatoes. I hate the red bastards.”
– “Parsnips cooked to look like fries/chips. Never did my excitement get ruined that quickly when I took a bite expecting potato and just tasted parsnip.”
– “If I were Bill Gates, I might pay to have something developed that would wipe cilantro off the face of the earth.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Is there something odd that sets you off?

U.S. NEWS

100-YEAR-OLD MAN GOES TO MCDONALD’S EVERY MORNING FOR 36 YEARS

A World War II veteran from Elkins, West Virginia, celebrated his 100th birthday at McDonald’s last Friday. Zan White has been having breakfast at a McDonald’s in Elkins almost every day for 36 years. He often dines there with a group of about a dozen friends. White says he isn’t sure why he’s lived so long but that he didn’t plan on changing his habits as he got older. “I’ve been coming here for 36 years — I can’t stop now,” he said.
* Besides, that’s where he gets his daily crack fix.
* Wow, a 100-year-old man eats breakfast. Now that’s a story!
* Every morning he goes to McDonald’s. What keeps him going is that every night he goes to Hooters.
* After eating World War II military rations, I’m sure McDonald’s tastes like filet mignon.
* Of course, in 1988 an Egg McMuffin was probably like 89 cents so it hasn’t been all good.

WOMAN RETURNS COSTCO COUCH AFTER 3 YEARS

A woman claims she returned a couch to Costco after owning it for 3-and-a-half years. The shopper, Jackie Nguyen, said in a TikTok video, “I just didn’t like it anymore. We just don’t like the color anymore.” She said that she did not have the original receipt, but recalled the date on which she had originally purchased the couch. That allowed a Costco clerk to process the transaction and issue a full refund to Nguyen. “They gave us a full refund, so yeah, it worked.” Costco has a generous return policy, which reads, “We guarantee your satisfaction on every product we sell, and will refund your purchase price.” It lists exceptions for electronics, diamonds, alcohol and cigarettes, but does not indicate a timeframe in which shoppers must bring their goods back.
* Tomorrow’s headline: “Costco suddenly changes return policy.”
* They’ll take the couch back, but Costco claims ownership of any money or jewelry that’s fallen between the cushions.
* “While you’re at it, we bought six or seven giant jars of olives and, now that I think about it, they weren’t that great.”
* Do you get the feeling this lady is gong to be trading her husband in in the next couple of years?

BURGER KING ANNOUNCES “DESIGN A NEW WHOPPER” CONTEST

Burger King is running a new contest where you could win a $1 million prize for devising a new Whopper sandwich. Visit Burger King’s website to enter the contest, where you can customize your own ideal Whopper, which can have up to eight toppings. (You must have a Burger King Royal Perks account to apply, so they can track you.) Three finalists will be selected and invited to Burger King’s headquarters in Miami, where the group will have the opportunity to refine their concepts before they appear on menus nationwide for a limited time later this year. Burger King customers will then have a chance to try out the three final Whopper creations and vote on their favorite new Whopper, with the finalist who receives the most votes taking home the $1 million prize. The competition is open until March 17.
* I would put a $20 bill in every Whopper. Who wouldn’t want that? That’s how I would win.
* Uh … this is exactly the kind of job we now have AI for, but if they want to give someone a million dollars, that’s nice too.
* Some smart alec’s gonna design a Whopper that’s topped with McDonald’s secret sauce.
* So every Burger King in America is going to retool their assembly line to make these three new Whoppers for a couple of weeks? Not likely.
* It’s all part of Burger King’s new slogan, “We still haven’t got this burger thing figured out yet.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES ATTACK SWISS COMPANY

This is, apparently, unbelievably, true. In Europe, around three million smart toothbrushes – toothbrushes that are connected to the internet to keep track of your brushing habits – have been infected by hackers. Individually, that doesn’t mean much. But when all the malware in all the toothbrushes was connected into one larger botnet, the toothbrushes were used in a Denial of Service attack on a Swiss company’s website. A Denial of Service attack is a cybercrime in which the attacker floods a server with internet traffic to prevent users from accessing connected online services and sites. The company’s site collapsed under the strain of the attack, reportedly resulting in the loss of millions of Euros of business. Normally, the toothbrushes would have used their connectivity for tracking and improving user oral hygiene habits, but after a malware infection, these toothbrushes were ganged up into a hacker attack. The toothbrush brand was not revealed, nor was the company affected by the attack.
* Well, humanity is boned now, for sure.
* I refuse to let my toothbrush be smarter than me.
* Did the attack happen at tooth-hurty?
* Who in their right mind feels the need to connect their toothbrush to the internet? Well, Gary Busey, sure, with those giant teeth who can blame him. But who else?
* Next up: Four million WiFi CPAP machines gang up and lock all the gates shut at Disneyland Paris.

WORLD’S SLOWEST MUSICAL COMPOSITION CHANGES CHORD

Does anybody remember the story from years ago about a musical composition that is going to take 640 years to play? On Monday, it changed chord for the first time in two years. The experimental piece by experimental composer John Cage, entitled “As Slow as Possible,” began playing on an organ at the Burchardi Church in the German town of Halberstadt in 2001. The score is made up of eight pages of music, designed to be played on either the piano or organ. The instruction is for the piece to be played as slowly as possible. While the composition officially started in 2001 – it began with 18 months of silence, and the first notes only rang out in 2003. It is not set to finish playing until the year 2640. So far, there have been 16 chord changes, including on Monday. The last time the chord was changed was February 5th, 2022. The next scheduled change will be on August 5th, 2026. Crowds come to witness the chord change. Some people booked tickets years in advance to experience Monday’s chord change.
* If the player hits a wrong note, they have to wait 23 months to change it.
* I don’t like the new chord. I think it should have been a G-sharp.
* It’s amazing that anyone can play with their organ this long.
* Weird Al Yankovic is writing a parody of the song. He’s been working on it since 2005.
* It’s the longest song known in existence, second only to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
* I once worked at a station where you’d put this song on if you needed a bathroom break.
* The joke is, if you play it quickly, it comes out as “Shave and a haircut, two bits.”

TRENDING

NEW TECH AT THE SUPER BOWL

Every year, television tries to up its game on technical coverage of the Super Bowl. Here are a few of this year’s improvements. There will be a total of 165 TV cameras, including:
– Two dozen 4K cameras with zoom extraction capability.
– “Doink” Cams: There will be three cameras embedded inside each goalpost, so if a field goal attempt smacks the uprights, fans should have a close-on look.
– 20 cameras embedded in the end zone pylons.
– 3 drone cameras.
– Techno Bird Crane, a massive 53-foot crane camera that can dive along the stadium to get those massive, sweeping shots.

TOBY KEITH DIES, 62

Country musaic star Toby Keith has died. He was 62. Keith announced that he had stomach cancer in 2022. He was known for his overt patriotism in songs like “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue,” and boisterous barroom tunes like “I Love This Bar” and “Red Solo Cup.” Among his 20 No. 1 Billboard hits were “How Do You Like Me Now?!,” “As Good As I Once Was,” “My List” and “Beer for My Horses.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

February 10, Saturday – Chinese New Year (The Year of the Dragon)
February 12, Monday – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 14, Wednesday – Valentine’s Day
February 19, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
February 13, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Ashton Kutcher (actor) … 46
Chris Rock (comedian/actor) … 59
Garth Brooks (country singer) … 62
David Bryan (keyboard player with Bon Jovi) … 62
James Spader (actor, “The Blacklist”) … 64

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m a guy’s guy. I don’t comb my hair unless I have to, and I don’t use lotions or fancy shampoos.”

(A) David Spade
(B) Bill Gates
(C) Ashton Kutcher

ANSWER: (C) Ashton Kutcher

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2018 – A DNA study published in “Nature” said all citrus fruit can be traced to the southeast foothills of the Himalayas.
* Then how come my bag of oranges says “Product of Florida”?

2012 – A federal appeals court ruled California’s ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional.
* It was a great day for equality – and divorce lawyers.

1989 – Due to a mysterious phenomenon, sardines rained down on the town of Ipswich in Australia.
* What, no tartar sauce?

1984 – Astronaut Bruce McCandless made the first untethered space walk.
* His first words upon reentering the spaceship were “Very funny, guys.”

1947 – The Dead Sea Scrolls, dating from 150 years BC, were discovered in caves west of the Jordan river.
* That’s going to be one heckuva library late fee.

1914 – Charlie Chaplin’s “The Little Tramp” character appeared for the first time, in a film called “Kid Auto Races in Venice.”
* Nowadays, he’d have to call the character “The Little Unhoused Guy.”

1892 – Long distance telephone service began as the first commercial telephone message was transmitted between New York and Chicago.
* And the next day saw the first telemarketing call to sell long distance service.

1821 – Seal hunter John Davies became the first person to set foot on Antarctica.
* And a few seconds later he slipped and became the first person to set bottom on Antarctica.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2008 – Amy Winehouse was told she could not perform at the Grammy awards ceremony because her U.S. visa application had been rejected by the embassy in London. The singer was arrested for marijuana possession in Norway the previous year.

2003 – Courtney Love arrived at a benefit concert at London’s Old Vic Theatre dressed as Donald Duck. Courtney joined Elton John on stage for a version of “The Bitch Is Back.”

1989 – Georgia state representative Billy Randall introduced a bill to make Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” the state’s official rock song. Apparently, it didn’t happen.

1987 – Madonna went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Open Your Heart,” her 5th U.S. No.1.

1981 – Kool & The Gang started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Celebration,” the group’s first No.1 and 8th top 40 hit.

1976 – Bob Dylan started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Desire,” his second U.S. No.1.

1976 – Paul Simon started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover,” the singer’s first solo U.S. No.1.

1970 – One-hit wonders Shocking Blue went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Venus,” making them the first Dutch act to top the U.S. charts.

1970 – Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull married record company secretary Jennie Franks.

1969 – John Lennon and Yoko Ono were featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. John was named as Rolling Stone’s “Man Of The Year.”

1964 – British band The Beatles were greeted by thousands of screaming fans upon their arrival in the United States at JFK Airport to begin their first U.S. tour.

1959 – The funeral of Buddy Holly took place at The Tabernacle Baptist Church in Lubbock, TX.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average person will purchase 15 of THESE in their lifetime. What is it?
A computer

2. The average woman will receive about 100 of THESE in her lifetime. What is it?
Bouquets of flowers

3. The average person will do THIS around 7100 times during their lifetime. What is it?
Take a bath

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