FRIDAY, Jan 19 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, January 19, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

ARCHERY DAY

NATIONAL GUN APPRECIATION DAY

NATIONAL POPCORN DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“The origins of this holiday are unknown. We have not found any information or documentation to confirm this is a true ‘National’ day. But, don’t let that pop (burst) your bubble, er, pop your corn, that is. It’s a day to celebrate healthy (until you load it with salt and butter) and addicting popcorn. Strangely, National Popcorn Day is in January, yet National Popcorn Month is October. According to tradition, it is celebrated on January 19th each year. There is some suggestion that Popcorn Day may, at one point, have been tied to the Superbowl. And, we found one reference to it being on January 30th. On National Popcorn Day, we suggest you pop up some fresh popcorn, kick back and enjoy!”

TIN CAN DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“Peter Durand patented the tin can in 1810, and Tin Can Day celebrates his contribution to the storage of perishable food.”

January is:

Adopt a Rescued Bird Month
Be Kind to Food Servers Month
Family Fit Lifestyle Month
Financial Wellness Month
Get Organized Month
National Candy Month
National Clean Up Your Computer Month
National Hobby Month
National Skating Month
National Train Your Dog Month
Walk Your Pet Month

THE BUZZ

MIS-SUNG SONG LYRICS

Reddit asked, “What’s a song lyric you always sing incorrectly even though you know it’s wrong?” Some of the responses:
– “Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg.”
– “Hold me closer Tony Danza.”
– “My husband and I start ‘Livin’ on a prayer’ with “lemon on a pear”
– “The song Venus: I’m your penis I’m your fire…”
– “Loser: ‘I’m a lizard baby, so why don’t you kill me'”
– “Dancing queen, Young & sweet, Only 7 teeth.”
– “Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud. I always belt out ‘take me into your lemon arms!’”
– “Take me down to the paradise city where the girls are green and the grass is pretty.”
– “Gimme the beach boys, and free my soooul I wanna get tossed in a rockin’ roll and drift awaaay”
– “Old Town Road ‘I’m gonna take my horse to the hotel room.'”
– “Alanis Morrissette/You Oughta Know: ‘It’s not fair to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me…'”
– “Tub Thumping: ‘I get locked up/but I get out again/you’re never gonna catch me now.'”
– “Go go Jason waterfalls.”
– “Every Breath You Take: The line is ‘my poor heart aches’ I always heard it and now sing it as ‘I’m a pool hall ace’”
– “Daft Punk’s Get Luck: ‘We rub a Mexican monkey…'”
– “Darius Rucker: ‘Rock me mama like a wagon wheel, Rock me mama anyway you feel, heyyyyy….. Maserati'”
– “I wanna rock and roll all night / and part of every day.”
– “Owner of a Lonely Heart will always be ‘Odor of Baloney Farts'”
* PHONE TOPIC: Have listeners call in and sing their own wrong lyrics,
U.S. NEWS

WIFE CAUGHT POISONING HUSBAND WITH SMOOTHIES

In Jefferson City, Missouri, a man caught his wife on camera trying to poison him with a smoothie. Sarah Scheffer’s husband set up a surveillance camera in their kitchen after six weeks of experiencing extreme fatigue, confusion, blurred vision, severe cotton mouth, and nausea when he ate food prepared by his wife. Footage from the camera showed the 37-year-old woman putting ‘lily of the valley,’ a poisonous plant that slows down the heart, into a blender while she prepared a smoothie for him. Scheffer allegedly acknowledged doing it. She works as a design and art teacher at a religious school in the city.
* But not any more, I bet.
* Either the husband is really smart, or he remembered the whole mom-caught-on-camera-poisoning-her-daughter plot from “The Sixth Sense.”
* This has been another edition of Wiccan Crimestoppers. If you have a tip, call 1-800-Pentacle.
* They say, the way to a man’s inheritance is through his stomach.
* On the bright side, the poison killed the man’s tapeworm.

MAN SUING 27 WOMEN FOR BAD DATE REVIEWS

A man from Chicago is taking legal action against 27 women and demanding $75 million in damages after they wrote bad reviews about him on a Facebook page called “Are We Dating The Same Guy?” Nikko D’Ambrosio, 32, claims these women have harmed his reputation by posting negative comments about him on the private Facebook group,where women can critique their dates, wonder out loud if their boyfriends are cheating, and simply talk abut their bad dates. The lawsuit claims the women “broadcast their outrageous, cruel, and malicious lies about the plaintiff with knowledge that the statements were false or with reckless disregard as whether or not they were true.”
– One woman accused D’Ambrosio of becoming “very clingy very fast,” showing off his wealth, and warning her not to see his “bad side,” especially during business calls. She posted a picture of D’Ambrosio, and several women said they had similar experiences with him. One commenter wrote: “I went out with him a few times over a year ago he told me what I wanted to hear until I split with him and then he ghosted… I’d steer clear.”
– Another: “He’s been posted here before. The poster said he sent her a bunch of texts calling her names because she didn’t want to spend the night with him.”
* Guy sounds like a real jerk. Er… ALLEGEDLY!!!!
* Nothing like a good, public lawsuit to salvage your reputation.
* I hope he gets a lot of money because, as of now, he will never get laid again.
* Although, $75 million can buy a lot of time with hookers.
* Another argument for sex robots.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

DEAD MAN WAKES UP WHEN AMBULANCE HITS POTHOLE

An Indian man who had been pronounced dead by doctors allegedly came back to life when the ambulance transporting him hit a deep pothole. The 80-year-old man from Haryana had not been feeling well for several days, so one of his grandsons took him to a hospital near his home. With a severe chest infection and a pre-existing heart condition, he was eventually pronounced dead after four days on a ventilator. The family arranged to have him transported in an ambulance to Nising, roughly 100 km away, for his last rites. The ambulance hit a pothole and moments later, the relative watching over his grandfather’s body saw his hand move. He quickly checked for a pulse and, sensing one, told the driver to take them to the nearest hospital. The elderly man’s condition is still critical, but he is breathing on his own.
* Praise Vishnu, and a lousy highway department.
* He says next trip, he wants to go by boat. It’s a smoother ride.
* What’s their standard for declaring death? Do they say to the person “Raise your hand if you’re alive,” and if they don’t – they’re dead?
* At least give the name of the hospital so people can take their family members somewhere else.
* Just curious – he’s not suddenly hungry for brains, is he?

TOURIST RETURNS CURSED STONES TO POMPEII

The director of the Roman ruins of Pompeii received an envelope in the mail from a woman who claims she got breast cancer after stealing three “cursed” rocks from the historical site. The three small rocks were in the envelope along with a letter that read, “I didn’t know about the curse. I didn’t know that I should not take any rocks. Within a year, I got breast cancer. I am a young and healthy female, and doctors said it was just ‘bad luck.’ Please accept my apology and these pieces.” Staffers at Pompeii say they’ve received similar letters from “every corner of the globe” for years.
– In 2020, a woman sent back a ceramic piece, two mosaic tiles, and a jar fragment, writing that she’d endured years of financial ruin and two bouts of cancer after stealing the artifacts 15 years earlier.
* Well, the science is sound.
* It’s about as scientific as doctors claiming people get cancer from “bad luck.”
* It’s like they say: Ignorance of the curse is no excuse.
* They’ve received similar letters from “every corner of the globe” for years. And still no warning signs around the ruins.
* Let me tell you – those rocks from Mt. Vesuvius weren’t too good for the people of Pompeii, either.

TRENDING

TWO MEN SUE MADONNA FOR LATE CONCERT START

Two New York City men are suing Madonna for her tardiness at her recent New York concert. Michael Fellows and Jonathan Hadden have filed a class-action complaint against Madonna, Live Nation and Barclays Center. The concert was advertised as starting at 8:30 p.m. The show didn’t begin until after 10:30 p.m. and, according to the lawsuit, “ticketholders leaving the venue after 1:00 a.m. were confronted with limited public transportation, limited ride-sharing, and/or increased public and private transportation costs at that late hour. In addition, many ticketholders who attended concerts on a weeknight had to get up early to go to work and/or take care of their family responsibilities the next day.” The lawsuit seeks unspecified damages, and they want a jury trial.

REBA, POST MALONE TO SING AT SUPER BOWL

At this year’s Super Bowl, Reba McEntire will sing the national anthem while Post Malone will perform “America the Beautiful.” The game happens Feb. 11 at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. The halftime show will feature Usher (the singer, not the guy who shows fans to their seats).

PETER SCHIKELE, “P.D.Q. BACH”, DIES

This won’t mean much to most people, but Peter Schickele (“Shick-lee”) died. He was 88. He was a classical music composer and producer, and most known for creating the character of P.D.Q. Bach, a fictional child of Johann Sebastian Bach (“Of Johann’s 20-odd children, he was the oddest.”), who supposedly composed many bizarre classical compositions, which Shikele would perform. He would create music out of strange objects, such as a bicycle pump or a flexible plastic tube. His compositions included the No-No Nonette; the Unbegun Symphony; Concerto for Bassoon vs. Orchestra; Fanfare for the Common Cold; Hansel and Gretel and Ted and Alice – an opera in one unnatural act; The Four Seasonings; Shepherd on the Rocks with a Twist; Toot Suite for four-handed calliope, and many more.
[NOTE: If you are the kind of radio station that can play an extended comedy piece, one of his funniest and most accessible pieces is “P.D.Q. Bach – ‘New horizons in music appreciation,'” where two announcers call Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony as if it was a football game. The whole bit is 8 minutes long (!) but you can shorten it a little by starting at 1:32 and ending at 7:30. Enter the title on YouTube and it’ll take you right there.]

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

January 26, Friday – Int’l Holocaust Remembrance Day (UN)
February 2, Friday – Groundhog Day
February 10, Saturday – Chinese New Year (The Year of the Dragon)
February 12, Monday – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 14, Wednesday – Valentine’s Day
February 19, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
February 13, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Jodie Sweetin (actress, “Fuller House”, “Full House”) … 42
Drea de Matteo (actress, “Shades of Blue”, “Sons of Anarchy”, “Desperate Housewives”, “Joey”, “The Sopranos”) … 52
Katey Sagal (actress, “The Conners,” “Superior Donuts,” “Sons of Anarchy,” “8 Simple Rules,” “Married With Children”) … 70
Dolly Parton (country singer) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

(A) Al Roker
(B) Noah
(C) Dolly Parton

ANSWER: (C) Dolly Parton

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2013 – In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV series “Batman” sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was the first of six Batmobiles produced for the show.
* “Holy Memorabilia Nut, Batman!”

1989 – President Reagan pardoned George Steinbrenner for his involvement in raising illegal funds for President Nixon.
* Steinbrenner thought he could buy a president like he bought pennants.

1955 – “Scrabble” debuted on the board game market.
* All those big words you heard in school finally came in handy.

1903 – The Tour de France cycling race was established. Now it’s always at the center of drug allegations.
* Bicycles aren’t the only things being pedaled.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2018 – The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner announced that Tom Petty had died accidentally from mixed drug toxicity, a combination of fentanyl, oxycodone, acetylfentanyl and despropionyl fentanyl (all opioids); temazepam and alprazolam (both sedatives); and citalopram (an antidepressant). Petty’s wife and daughter said he had multiple medical problems, including emphysema, knee difficulties and most significantly a fractured hip. The statement read, “It is our feeling that the pain was simply unbearable and was the cause for his overuse of medication. We feel confident that this was, as the coroner found, an unfortunate accident.”

2017 – Jonathan Schwartz, the former business manager of Alanis Morissette, admitted stealing over $7 million from the singer and other celebrities. He was charged with fraud and sentenced to six years in prison. In addition, Schwartz was ordered to pay $8.6 million in restitution.

2011 – Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler made his debut appearance as a judge on American Idol, during the premiere of the show’s tenth season, replacing Simon Cowell.

2003 – Norah Jones started a three week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Come Away With Me.”

2001 – It was reported that Paul McCartney was set to become the world’s first pop star billionaire. McCartney was said to be worth 725 million British Pounds and was expected to become a billionaire after huge sales from The Beatles compilation hits album.

2000 – Tourism officials in Liverpool, England were banned from putting up motorway signs saying “Liverpool, the Birthplace Of The Beatles” because it was thought the signs would distract motorists.

1998 – Joey Ramone of The Ramones was hospitalized in New York suffering from a blood-related illness.

1998 – Carl Perkins died at the age of 65, after suffering two strokes. Perkins wrote the classic rock & roll song “Blue Suede Shoes.”

1997 – Madonna won the Best Actress award for “Evita” at the Golden Globe Awards.

1993 – Fleetwood Mac reformed to perform at Bill Clinton’s inauguration. The band’s “Don’t Stop” was used as the theme for his campaign.

1991 – Janet Jackson went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Love Will Never Do,” her 5th U.S. No.1.

1988 – Bon Jovi’s and Motley Crue’s manager Doc McGheep pleaded guilty to importing more than 40,000 lb of marijuana into the U.S.

1980 – Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” started a 15-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart. The group’s third U.S. No.1, it went on to sell over 8 million copies.

1978 – Johnny Rotten was fired from The Sex Pistols for “not being weird enough anymore.”

1976 – The Beatles turned down an offer of $30 million for them to play together again.

1974 – Al Wilson went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Show And Tell.”

1971 – The Beatles’ White Album was played in the courtroom at the Sharon Tate murder trial to find out if any songs could have influenced Charles Manson and his followers to commit murder.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Only 2% of us say we never eat THIS. What is it?
Cookies

2. 1/3 of coffee drinkers have THIS in common. What is it?
They prefer to drink it black

3. Only 5% of Americans say they don’t like THIS food. What is it?
Tacos

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