WEDNESDAY, Dec 13 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, December 13, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: SONG – WRITE YOUR NAME IN THE SNOW; A & M AUTOLAND – Holiday Spackle

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL COCOA DAY

NATIONAL DAY OF THE HORSE
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Day of the Horse encourages people of the United States to be mindful of the contribution of horses to the economy, history and character of the United States.”

NATIONAL VIOLIN DAY

U.S. NATIONAL GUARD BIRTHDAY
The National Guard website says this:
“On this date in 1636, the first militia regiments in North America were organized in Massachusetts. Today, the descendants of these first regiments – the 181st Infantry, the 182nd Infantry, the 101st Field Artillery, and the 101st Engineer Battalion of the Massachusetts Army National Guard – share the distinction of being the oldest units in the U.S. military. The birth of the National Guard’s oldest organized units is symbolic of the founding of all the state, territory, and District of Columbia militias that collectively make up today’s National Guard.”

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

THE BUZZ

HAVE TWO KIDS, LIVE LONGER

A new study from the University of Michigan suggests that having children can actually extend a person’s life expectancy to age 76. Research author Jianzhi Zhang said that having two kids corresponds to the longest lifespan, a 5% to 10% longevity advantage over childless people. However, he says, “Having fewer than two or more than two kids lowers the lifespan.” One possible reason: having two children strikes a balance between having a good amount of social interactions with other people and not having too much economic or physical burden.
* (If you have more than two kids) Boy, am I gonna have a tough conversation at home tonight.
* It takes about $310,000 to raise a kid from 0 to age 17, so the economic burden part? Your mileage may vary.
* You live extra, to age 76, and STILL they never call.
* Yes, but having no kids makes your furniture and carpet last longer.

TOP PLACE TO LIVE IN AMERICA: ATLANTA

Atlanta, the capital of Georgia, is Number 1 on the Money website’s annual list of the 50 Best Places to Live in the U.S. Cities were ranked on a variety of factors, including cost of living, diversity, economic opportunity, education and quality of life. Obviously, they don’t judge by traffic:
1. Atlanta, Georgia
2. Tempe, Arizona
3. Kirkland, Washington
4. Raleigh, North Carolina
5. Rogers Park, Illinois
6. Columbia, Maryland
7. Somerville, Massachusetts
8. Ann Arbor, Michigan
9. Tampa, Florida
10. Jersey City, New Jersey
46. Greenville, South Carolina; 47. Juneau, Alaska; 48. Coralville, Iowa; 49. Jeffersonville, Indiana; 50. Sparks, Nevada
* Atlanta? Oh, I’m sorry, that should be “Atlantic.” The middle of the Atlantic Ocean is the best place to live right now.
* Your top two places, Atlanta and Tempe. Do you want a wet heat, or a dry heat?
* The list gets a little shorter when you pull out the three cities where you might – MIGHT – just be able to afford a house.
* Economic opportunity and stuff is fine, but did they check into how hot the people are?

U.S. NEWS

BABY FLIES THROUGH AIR IN TORNADO, LANDS IN A TREE

A 4-month-old baby boy survived the tornadoes in middle Tennessee the other day after he was sucked up into a twister and dropped onto a fallen tree. Mom Sydney Moore was in a bedroom with her 1-year-old when she heard the strong winds and instinctively laid across her son as the tornado ripped the roof off her home. Moore’s fiancé was in a different room when he saw the tornado’s funnel. He grabbed their 4-month-old, who was sleeping in a bassinet. They both were ripped out of the home by the twister and tossed outside. The couple desperately searched for their baby for 10 minutes before they found the infant alive on top of a fallen tree.
* Now THAT is a superhero origin story.
* Luckily, it was weighed down by a loaded diaper.
* I always knew “Rockabye Baby In The Treetop” was a horror song.
* There was also a lady on a bicycle in the tornado, but she flew away.
* All these years, and we haven’t come up with a better way to attach roofs?

DRUNK DRIVER SANG GOSPEL SONGS, PEES HERSELF

Florida highway patrols arrested a woman after a dangerous high-speed pursuit Sunday in the Florida Keys. Police say 41-year-old Courtney Epps was speeding between 90 and 120 miles per hour in a Chevy Suburban van while driving north in the southbound lanes of US 1. They attempted to stop Epps with spike strips twice. The second attempt was successful as it spiked three tires, yet she continued to drive with three punctured tires at a high speed as she approached hundreds of runners participating in a half marathon. The tires on Epps’ vehicle began falling off as she passed the runners. Epps eventually crashed into a construction site, where she was apprehended and taken into custody. Police described her as extremely intoxicated. While at a hospital for evaluation, she urinated on herself in the lobby while singing gospel songs.
* She was full of the spirits!
* I hope somebody said, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
* She was singing all the great gospel songs: All Drinks Bright and Beautiful; This Little Wine Of Mine; and Nearer My Vodka Thee.
* Should have tried “Jesus, Take the Wheel.”

FESTIVUS – MORE GRIEVANCES

The Tampa Bay Times published their list of reader’s grievances for Festivus, the fake Christmas holiday created by the TV show “Seinfeld.” Here are some of the grievances of Tampa Bay Times readers, although I think we can all sympathize with many of these:
– “Teenage boys answering every question/text with ‘ok.’ Did you do your homework? Ok. Are you home? Ok. Did you eat yet? Ok. Why aren’t you answering my texts? Ok.”
– “People who tell me about their ‘wild’ dreams. Why? I don’t care.”
– “Why do I have to say goodbye every time I leave the house, even just go to the grocery store? Can we just stop with all the ‘bye!'”
– “My purpose on this planet is not to be the one that turns your balled-up, dirty, vile socks inside out.”
– “My Spotify Wrapped said I was a ‘vampire,’ which made me feel cool, edgy and unique, but then everyone I know posted that they also got vampire, so I am in fact not cool, edgy or unique. ”
– “Timothée Chalamet. I still don’t like him.”
– “When a server partially unwraps a wrapped straw just to stick it in my drink, thereby eliminating the sanitary condition that the restaurant paid extra for by not purchasing unwrapped straws.”
– “Throwing a bunch of random ingredients together and calling it a ‘bowl.’ Burrito bowl. Acai bowl. Buddha bowl.”
– “Barn doors on hotel bathrooms. A 2-inch flappy chasm is unacceptable in a small, shared space. Actually, all barn doors. They’re the laziest doors. They’re not doors at all. They’re wooden curtains.”
– “I hate the word ‘dollop.’”
– “Why does every tradesman come into my home and insult the work done by the person that came before them?”
– “When people mix up leopard print with cheetah print it makes me want to puke.”
– “Can we please just stop the promposals.”
– “My dental hygienist: ‘So, do you have any fun plans for the summer?’ Me: ‘MUMPHERSUMPHINENF.'”
* There you go. We’ll be back with the Feats of Strength after the break.

TRENDING

ANDRE BRAUGHER DIES AT 61

André Braugher, an Emmy Award-winning dramatic actor who later switched to comedy as Capt. Raymond Holt on Brooklyn 99, has died. He was 61. His publicist said Braugher died Monday after a brief illness. Braugher spent 100 episodes playing Det. Frank Pembleton on Homicide: Life on the Street, where he won a primetime Emmy for outstanding lead actor in a drama series. He won his second Emmy for the FX miniseries Thief, in which he played the leader of a heist crew. Braugher also acted in memorable movies like Glory, Spike Lee’s Get on The Bus, Primal Fear and City of Angels. But in recent years, he became beloved for his imagining of the police captain on Brooklyn 99. He is survived by his wife actress Ami Brabson, and three sons.

KATE MICUCCI HAS LUNG CANCER SURGERY

Actress Kate Micucci, 43, best known for playing Lucy on “The Big Bang Theory,” posted a video on TikTok captioned, “an update on what I’ve been up to.” She wrote: “Hey everybody, this is not a TikTok, it’s a ‘Sick Tok.’ I’m in the hospital but it’s because I had lung cancer surgery yesterday. They caught it really early. It’s really weird, because I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life so uh, you know, it was a surprise.” She adds, “The greatest news is they caught it early, they got it out, I’m all good.”

BUFFALO SABRES HOCKEY ANNOUNCER TAKES A PUCK TO THE HEAD DURING GAME

Late in the third period of Monday’s hockey game between the Buffalo Sabres and Arizona Coyotes, color analyst for Buffalo and former NHL player Rob Ray took a puck to the face. Officials skated over to give the 55-year-old a towel as blood dripped from a cut between his eyes. Through it all, Ray never took off his headset and finished the remainder of the broadcast, sporting a bandage for his wound. Said Ray said patting his forehead. “A normal guy would’ve been carried out of here.” He added that he had to clean off his glasses and could not use his page of notes anymore because it was covered in blood. Ray played 900 games in his NHL career, 889 of them for the Buffalo Sabres.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Taylor Swift (singer/songwriter) … 34
Jamie Foxx (actor, “Beat Shazam” host) … 56
Steve Buscemi (actor) … 66
Wendie Malick (actress, “The Ranch,” “Hot in Cleveland,” “Just Shoot Me” ) … 73
Randy Owen (country singer-guitarist w Alabama) … 74
Ted Nugent (heavy metal guitarist, naturist) … 75
Dick Van Dyke (actor, “Mary Poppins Returns,” “Night At The Museum”) … 98

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I never want to change so much that people can’t recognize me.”

(A) Renee Zellweger
(B) Lady Gaga
(C) Taylor Swift

ANSWER: (C) Taylor Swift

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 – Ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was captured by U.S. forces while hiding in a hole under a farmhouse.
* And the whole situation in Iraq went downhill from there.

2000 – Republican George W. Bush claimed the U.S. presidency 36 days after Election Day; Democrat Al Gore conceded defeat.
* Al didn’t get to live his dream of being president, but he realized his SECOND dream, of growing a beard.

1950 – James Dean began his career with an appearance in a Pepsi commercial.
* Wow. Most icons sell out and do endorsements AFTER they make it big.

1920 – The League of Nations established the International Court of Justice in The Hague.
* Not to be confused with the League of Justice founded by the Super Friends in the 1970s.

1903 – The Wright Brothers made their 1st flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.
* But their luggage ended up in West Virginia.

1903 – Ice cream cones were invented by Italo Marcione in New York.
* It sure beat buying ice cream by the pocketful.

1759 – The first music store in America opened in Philadelphia.
* Business was slow for about a century until the phonograph was invented.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2012 – A collection of love letters written by Mick Jagger to American singer Marsha Hunt sold at auction for approx. $237,000. The letters were penned in the summer of 1969 while The Rolling Stones frontman was in Australia. They are believed to be the inspiration for the band’s hit single “Brown Sugar.”

2003 – Lauryn Hill launched a blistering attack on the Catholic church, urging religious figures to “repent” while speaking on a stage regularly used by the Pope. The former Fugees singer was playing at a Christmas show in Vatican City and took the opportunity to speak her mind about allegations of sexual abuse in America, before an audience that included top Vatican cardinals, bishops and the cream of Italian society.

2002 – Zal Yanovsky of The Lovin Spoonful died of a heart attack.

1986 – Bruce Hornsby & The Range went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “The Way It Is.”

1980 – Kenny Roger’s Greatest Hits started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart.

1975 – Chicago started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Chicago IX – Chicago’s Greatest Hits,” the group’s fifth No.1 album.

1966 – The Jimi Hendrix Experience recorded “Foxy Lady.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The time people spend doing THIS has increased 400% since the 1980s. What is it?
Sitting in traffic

2. 19% of people do THIS after buying a car. What is it?
Give it a name

3. 32% of people surveyed admitted to having done THIS during their commute. What is it?
Take a picture or video of an accident

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