FRIDAY, Dec 1 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, December 1, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: NUDE CHRISTMAS (FOR BRITNEY); THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CIVIL AIR PATROL BIRTHDAY
The Edwards Air Force Base website says this:
“In the late 1930’s Gill Robb Wilson, legendary New Jersey aviation advocate, visualized general aviation as a potential supplement for United States military operations. With the help of New York mayor Fiorello La Guardia, on Dec. 1, 1941, the Civil Air Patrol was formed just six days before the United States entered Wold War II. Today CAP is an auxiliary of the U.S. Air Force, and is currently known for its three main missions: aerospace education, cadet programs, and emergency services.”

EAT A RED APPLE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Eat a Red Apple Day is today. We hope you eat an apple today, and every day. Apples are delicious. Apples are nutritious. That’s a great combination. It is really easy to participate in this special day. There are thousands of varieties of apples grown all over the planet. Your mission today, is to pick an apple among all of these varieties, and eat it. A little apple trivia: The science of growing apples is called pomology. Celebrate this special day and have a happy Eat a Red Apple Day.”

NATIONAL PIE DAY

WORLD AIDS AWARENESS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“World Aids Awareness Day is today, created in 1988 by the United Nations World Health Organization. This day is noted around the world, by fundraisers, educational programs, and events. HIV/AIDS is one of the worlds biggest medical crises. It is estimated that approximately 40 million people in the world currently have aids. One million of them are in the United States. Each year, over 40,000 new cases are reported in the U.S. On this day, there are a number of things you can do. They include: Learn more about HIV/AIDs; Promote education about this disease, and protection against it; help people with AIDS; donate to the fight to end this disease.”

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Friday through Monday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

FRIDAY, Dec 1

“Candy Cane Lane”
Prime Video – New Movie
Synopsis: Chris (Eddie Murphy) signs a bad deal with a shady elf just so he can accomplish his life’s dream of winning his neighborhood Christmas house decorating competition. Too bad he didn’t read the fine print, because one of the consequences of signing the contract is that he will turn into a toy figurine.

“May December”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Gracie (Julianne Moore) and Joe’s (Charles Melton) marriage threatens to crumble when an actor shows up on their porch one day. To prepare for a film, Elizabeth (Natalie Portman) has made it her goal to learn about their relationship beyond the tabloid headlines from two decades ago. But what happens when the actor takes her research a little too far?

Season Premieres:
Apple TV+ – “Slow Horses”
Netflix – “Sweet Home”
Starz – “Power Book III: Raising Kanan”

SATURDAY, Dec 2

“Doctor Who: Wild Blue Yonder”
Disney+ – Special
Synopsis: The Tardis takes the Doctor and Donna to the furthest edge of adventure. To escape, they must face the most desperate fight of their lives, with the fate of the universe at stake.

“Thriller 40”
Showtime – New Documentary
Synopsis: Follows the making of “Thriller,” Michael Jackson’s record-breaking album.

THE BUZZ

FOOD WE LOST IN 2023

TheTakeout website has done a short compilation of some of the treasured foods that went away in 2023.
– Good Humor Toasted Almond Bars
– Sir Kensington’s Ketchup
– Taco Bell Quesarito
– Dunkin’ Dunkaccino
– KFC Popcorn Chicken
– Publix Markets Hurricane Cakes
– Raspberry Rally Girl Scout Cookies
– Stoned Wheat Thins
– Nabisco Famous Chocolate Wafers
– And, in memorium, the McDonald’s McFlurry Spoon
* Are we supposed to be sad? Should we play Taps on a box of Bugles chips?
* Early in the year, I lost an Egg McMuffin in the car, and I think it’s somewhere inside my driver seat.
* Anybody remember the Panera Bread Grilled Mac & Cheese Sandwich? 42 grams of fat, 110 mg of cholesterol, 1650 mg of salt, 86 grams of carbohydrates. I believe it was outlawed by the Food and Drug Administration.
* How come it’s never anything no one likes, like liver or bleu cheese?
* If you want to recreate the Taco Bell Quesarito, just order any three random items on the menu and mash them together.

AN OUTLET FOR YOUR FESTIVUS GRIEVANCES

The Tampa Bay Times newspaper is inviting readers to submit their grievances for the year and will print the funniest complaints in celebration of Festivus, the fictional holiday created by the sitcom “Seinfeld.” The Times announced the Eighth Annual Tampa Bay Times Airing of Grievances, which is open to anyone around the world who wishes to voice their complaints on any subject. The Tampa Bay Times has set up a Google Form for anyone with a grievance to air. The Times isn’t alone; many papers and internet sites will accept your Festivus grievances. Here are some of the previous grievances:
– “I have a lot of problems with microwaves that never stop beeping after the timer goes off. I only need 1 beep!”
– “Leaving time on the microwave.”
– “Why do you include the stumps in my bagged romaine lettuce? I am not eating romaine lettuce stumps.”
– “My 12-year-old son calls me ‘bro.’ Last I checked, I was still ‘mom.'”
– “People in the back of the elevator are the first ones to get off? If you’re on a lower floor, stay by the door!”
– “NFL fair catches. The most boring play in football. ”
– “People who put lights on their festivus pole.”
– “I’m not sure because I was under sedation, but I think the doctors were laughing during my colonoscopy.”
– “The same people I aired grievances against last year are even more stupid this year.”
* Wow, it’s like Thanksgiving with my uncle.
* I’m fed up with people who are so self-important, they have their own personal grievances.
* So no matter what you do, somebody out there is going to think you’re a jerk.
* From my experience with Americans, every day of the year is Festivus.
* Speaking of Americans, Festivus is also supposed to have Feats of Strength, but – y’know – lazy.
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s your Festivus grievance?

U.S. NEWS

JUDGE SENTENCES WOMAN TO WORK AT FAST FOOD JOINT

A Parma, Ohio woman who threw her Chipotle burrito bowl at an employee has been given an unusual offer by the judge. 39-year-old Rosemary Hayne was unhappy with her order and threw her burrito bowl at a Chipotle worker. Hayne was charged with one count of assault, found guilty and given a 180 day jail sentence, but the judge told her she can shorten her sentence by 60 days if she agrees to get a job at a fast-food restaurant, working at least 20 hours a week. Hayne agreed to the deal. The sentence was given by Parma Municipal Court Judge Timothy Gilligan, who believes working at a fast food restaurant will teach her a “sense of empathy.” “This is not ‘Real Housewives’ of Parma,” Judge Gilligan told Hayne.
* “This is not reality TV said Judge Gilligan.” Doesn’t that sound odd to you?
* If she spots some of the Chipotle workers walking into the restaurant, she better duck!
* Give her a job at Dominos, she can use that throwing arm to toss pizza dough like a pro.
* So Gilligan finally got off that island and had kids. That’s sweet!

TRUCK SPILLS LOAD OF CHOCOLATE AND CARAMEL

A stretch of Interstate 90 in Lake County, Ohio, was closed Thursday morning when a crash involving two semi trucks covered the roadway in boxes of chocolate and caramel. The two trucks collided about 6 a.m. Thursday. One of the trucks spilled its load of chocolate and caramel candy into the roadway, prompting officials to direct traffic off the highway.
* Which was a shame, because the truckload of coconut was only a half mile away.
* I thought the Hershey Highway was in Pennsylvania.
* There was, uh, whatchamacallit, all over the road.
* Not much of a story, but I thought it might be worth a couple of snickers.
* Gonna cost 100 Grand to clean that up.
* Just think – even THIS can’t get Bigfoot to come out in the open!

PROTEIN BARS RECALLED FOR POSSIBLE HAIRNET CONTAMINATION

A Florida company is recalling their protein bars because they could contain unwanted items including hairnets. Doctors Scientific Organica is recalling its Burn Boot Camp Afterburn Grass-Fed Whey Protein Bars Triple Chocolate Almond flavor because they might contain hairnets, shrink wrap and parchment paper. The bars were distributed to the Burn Bootcamp fitness chain and sold online.
* What’s interesting is that they say hair-NETS, not just one hairnet.
* Do they count as part of the fiber content?
* Just how high an IQ do you have to have to pick out a hairnet that fits right?
* I have a feeling the company might want to review hand-washing procedures after using the bathroom as well.
* Grass-Fed Whey Protein? The hairnet sounds like the tastiest thing in the bar.

IT WILL COST $15 TO DRIVE INTO NEW YORK CITY

Drivers entering downtown Manhattan will soon have to pay a minimum of $15. The city is implementing “congestion pricing” for the area of Manhattan below 60th Street. Prices range from $15 for a sedan, $24 for small trucks and up to $36 for large trucks and tour buses. During night hours, tolls will be 75% less. Anyone driving into that area from uptown Manhattan, from across the Brooklyn, Manhattan, Williamsburg or Queensboro bridges, or via one of the tunnels from Brooklyn, Queens or New Jersey will have to pay that toll, in addition to the bridge or tunnel toll. The plan is designed to get more people to take public transit. Teachers, emergency workers and public employees will not be charged.
* And suddenly there’s a teacher surplus in New York City.
* What they ought to be charging is 20 bucks to get OUT of New York, ammirite?
* There’s a lot of text messages going around saying “I’ll take you across in my trunk for $10.”
* Well, there goes that little extra you were keeping on hand for the Windshield Squeegee Guy.
* It’s still cheaper than the $16 Smoky Double Quarter-Pounder with bacon and cheese at the McDonald’s in Post Falls, Idaho, so shut up.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SMART TOILET BURSTS INTO FLAMES WHILE MAN IS USING IT

The Yangtze Evening News newspaper reported the story of a man from Xiamen, China, who filmed his smart toilet burning after a suspected short-circuit. The man said he was using the toilet, which is wired with electronics for various hoity-toidy functions like a heated seat, water conservation, and a self-cleaning function. At first, he said, there was the smell of burning, then plumes of white smoke started billowing from the toilet bowl, and finally, just as the man stood up, the smart toilet burst into flames. Photos show the toilet bowl consumed with flames.
* Ouch, that smarts.
* Really takes “heated seat” to the next level!
* Then he was arrested for spreading propaganda that China doesn’t know how to make a good toilet.
* Smoke, flames…. the same thing happened to me, but I don’t have a smart toilet, just a gift card at Chipotle.
* Incinerating the contents. That’s one way to save water.

TRENDING

ABC TO AIR “ONLY MURDERS”

Wait – don’t order that Hulu streaming just yet. ABC announced Thursday that Season 1 of the popular Hulu series “Only Murders in the Building” will air on the network in January. Three episodes will air at a time on Jan. 2, 9 and 16. The season finale airs at 9 p.m. Jan. 23. Only Murders stars Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez as neighbors who team up to solve a different murder on a true crime podcast they began together.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Zoë Kravitz (actress, “The Batman,” “Fantastic Beasts” movies) … 35
Brad Delson (guitarist with Linkin Park) … 46
Sarah Silverman (comedian, actress) … 53
Gilbert O’Sullivan (Singer/songwriter, “Alone Again Naturally”) … 77
Bette Midler (singer, actress) … 78
John Densmore (drummer w The Doors) … 79
Eric Bloom (singer-guitarist w Blue Oyster Cult) … 79
Woody Allen (director, actor) … 88

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.”

(A) Dr. Phil
(B) The Dalai Lama
(C) Woody Allen

ANSWER: (C) Woody Allen

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2019 – The earliest traceable Covid-19 patient, a 55-year-old man, developed symptoms in Wuhan, China.
* … a-a-a-a-nd THEY’RE OFF!

2004 – Tom Brokaw signed off for the last time as anchor of the “NBC Nightly News.”
* When they started expecting him to report on Lindsay Lohan, he figured it was time to go (Tom famously spoke with a lazy “L”).

1967 – Wilt Chamberlain set an NBA record by missing 22 free throws.
* However, after the game he made 22 successful passes at a singles bar.

1959 – The first color photograph of the Earth was taken from outer space.
* NASA decided to go with one 8X10, two 5X7’s and ten wallet sizes.

1913 – The first drive-up gasoline station opened, in Pittsburgh, PA.
* It would be another 10 years before a man would stop and ask for directions.

1891 – James Naismith invented the game of basketball.
* The game hasn’t changed an awful lot, but the players may soon have to start wearing suits of armor.

1878 – The first White House telephone was installed.
* Future presidents would use it to negotiate treaties, congratulate national heroes and talk dirty to interns.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2020 – Spotify’s most streamed artist of 2020 was Bad Bunny, its most streamed song “Binding Lights” by The Weekend.

2016 – Drake was named Spotify’s most-streamed artist of 2016, with his single ‘One Dance’ the site’s biggest song of the year. The Canadian had 4.7 billion streams in this year, more than half of which were for his album “Views.” ‘One Dance’ alone was streamed 960 million times. Played consecutively, that would take more than 5,200 years.

2012 – Shakira was being sued for $100m by a former boyfriend who acted as her business manager for six years. Antonio de la Rua claimed he was the “principal architect” of a business plan that turned the singer into a global superstar. He was seeking to “recover his share of past and future partnership profits,” according to papers filed in New York. The suit was dismissed.

2002 – Shania Twain started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Up!”.

1998 – The first night of a U.S. tour with *NSYNC, Britney Spears and B*Witched opened in Columbus, Ohio.

1995 – An auction of Frank Sinatra’s possessions earned him $2,072,000.

1990 – C.C. Deville, guitar player with Poison, spent six hours in jail in Louisville, after being arrested for public drunkenness and criminal mischief after a concert in the town that night.

1990 – Whitney Houston went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with ‘I’m Your Baby Tonight,’ her 8th U.S. No.1 and the first for writers and producers Reid and Babyface.

1989 – Sly Stone was sentenced to 55 days after pleading guilty to a charge of driving under the influence of cocaine, (two weeks later he also pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine and was sentenced to spend 9-14 months in rehab).

1987 – A Kentucky teacher lost her appeal in the U.S. Supreme Court over her firing after showing Pink Floyd’s film “The Wall” to her class. The court decided that the film was not suitable for minors with its bad language and sexual content.

1982 – Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album was released. It became the biggest selling pop album up to that time, with sales over 51 million.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 14% of Americans surveyed said they do THIS every night. What is it?
Fall asleep with the TV on

2. Surveys show almost 30% of Americans can’t go to bed without doing THIS. What is it?
Checking the thermostat

3. About 56% of people surveyed said they lose sleep over THIS. What is it?
Their retirement

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