MONDAY, Nov 27 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, November 27, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: CHRISTMAS+

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CYBER MONDAY

NATIONAL BAVARIAN CREAM PIE DAY

NATIONAL ELECTRIC GUITAR DAY
The Checkiday Website says this:
“Today’s holiday takes place on the birthday of Jimi Hendrix, who is known as being one of the best electric guitar players of all time, on account of his innovative and experimental approach to the instrument.”

PINS AND NEEDLES DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“The purpose of Pins and Needles Day is to commemorate the opening of the pro-Labor play Pins and Needles on Broadway on this day in 1937. Over decades of time, people lost track of the original meaning of this day. Today, most people look upon Pins and Needles Day as a nervous and anxious day. It’s a day of eager anticipation, as we await an event or for something to happen. One could argue that kids are on pins and needles from now until Christmas, as they nervously wonder if they have been good enough to receive a visit from Santa in a few weeks. The real origin of this special day goes back to the labor movement in the 1930s. The pro-labor Broadway musical Pins and Needles opened on this day in 1937, at the Labor Stage Theater in New York City, produced by the International Ladies Garment Workers’ Union. Union members made up the cast. It ran for 1108 performances, once holding the record for longevity.”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

WEDNESDAY, Nov 29

“The Artful Dodger”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis:
The former pickpocket has moved to Australia and is trying to leave his criminal ways behind, but his past catches up to him when Fagin comes to town.

HALL VS. OATES

Darryl Hall is suing John Oates. The long, longtime musical partners apparently have an issue to settle. On November 16, Hall filed a lawsuit against Oates in court in Nashville, Tennessee. John Oates currently lives in Nashville. Exactly what the dispute is is unknown. The documents are labeled as relating to a “contract/debt” suit and are currently sealed. Representatives for both performers have not responded to questions. In 2017, 2018, and 2021, Hall & Oates headlined their own HoagieNation Festival in Philadelphia, but the event hasn’t happened in either of the last two years. The duo played only a handful of dates in 2022, and none this year. Hall has had a few unkind things to say about Oates recently, and has pointed out in an interview that “He’s my business partner. He’s not my creative partner.” Last year, Hall revealed that he and Oates would no longer be making music together.
* Well, music world’s loss. No more great songs like, um… when was that last hit? 1984???
* I hope they’re not suing each other over custody of the mustache. I can’t go for that, no can do.
* Maybe they’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.
* It’s rough. Both of their lawyers are Maneaters.
* This lawsuit was a long time in the works, but they wanted to wait until their fans were, y’know, dead.

HALL VS. OATES, PART 2

There were a couple of updates after the news broke last Wednesday that Darryl Hall had filed a restraining order against his musical partner John Oates. Here’s what’s been reported, although very little of it has been verified:
– The “sexy” story is this: An unnamed source claims that the duo had been in arbitration to work out “the ground rules of who can sing what as a solo artist.” The restraining order is keeping Oates from singing Hall & Oates songs in his solo concerts, because most of the big hits were written by Darryl Hall.
* What an assHall.
* Ask John Fogerty and Creedence Clearwater Revival how that’s worked out for him all these years.
– A story from Associated Press is probably a little closer to the truth: Daryl Hall has sued his longtime music partner John Oates for planning to sell off his share of Whole Oats Enterprises, a joint venture between Hall & Oates. Whole Oates Enterprises is, basically, the duo’s music catalogue. Oates wants to sell his share to an investment company, in the same way that old rock stars are now selling their music catalogue. The lawsuit says Oates’ team entered into a letter of intent with Primary Wave Music for the sale, but int he course of doing so the duo’s business agreement was disclosed to Primary Wave Music, and that was a violation of a Whole Oates Enterprises confidentiality provision. So, Darryl Hall is calling Oates’ move “a breach of contract.”
* Gee, it came down to money. What are the odds?
* It’s tough working with a partner. I think the only duo that’s still together after all these years is Dolly Parton.

THE BUZZ

WHAT RUINED THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR?

Reddit asked, “What ruined Thanksgiving this year?” Some of the responses:
– “Fighting with my mother over her stupidly large dinner. She has a consistent history of complaining no one helps her get things done. When I offer, she says no, then continues complaining.”
– “I am literally a chef but Grandma insists on salt and pepper on the turkey and nothing else. It’s so dry are you kidding me???”
– “First year alone and not invited anywhere.”
– “Ordered McDonald’s for dinner, they cancelled my order with no explanation.”
– “Explosive diarrhea and thin walls. Not my proudest moment.”
– “My inlaws asking me and only me specifically, in a room full of people, to hold a new born baby, knowing full well that I just traumatically miscarried recently. When I politely declined, they responded with ‘I’m sure it’s really hard for you and you’re not past it yet.’ Again, in a room full of people.”
– “The Lions…..again.” (* They lost against the Packers, 29-22)
– “Found out that my 18-year-old cousin has an onlyfans, most of the family was cool with it until suspiciously her subscribers went up by 3 within an hour of the family finding out.”
– “One family dog mauled another, sat in a veterinary ER covered in blood.”
– “Saw a bedbug at the in-laws house on the way out. Tell them about it and turns out they know but didn’t tell us.”
– “My grandma asked me what a furry was.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What ruined your Thanksgiving this year? Difficulty: no politics, no death, no drugs.

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN GOES TO MEXICO FOR SKIN TIGHTENING, WAKES UP WITH BREAST IMPLANTS

A Washington State woman says she traveled to Tijuana, Mexico, for one cosmetic procedure, but woke up with another. Kimberly McCormick, 66, had been to the facility years ago for a weight-loss procedure. That procedure was successful, and now she wanted to have loose skin removed on her arms, thighs and stomach. She woke up after the surgery and immediately realized something was wrong – her chest was really sore. She had breast implants she didn’t want. She confronted a medical coordinator, who insisted she had asked the doctor to perform the procedure. “The coordinator said, ‘You told him you wanted a full C,’” as in C-cup. Along with the implants, McCormick said she also got an unwanted “Brazilian Butt Lift.” Adding insult to injury, the surgeon didn’t remove the loose skin as she had wanted. But then she was forced to to pay thousands of dollars extra before being allowed to leave the Tijuana medical facility. Before she was allowed to leave, McCormick said she was forced to sign paperwork that suggested she approved the unwanted surgeries.
* I’m picturing it this way: The surgeon motions to her chest and says, “You want it here?” And she replies, “Yes, yes, sí, sí, a big sí.”
* Hard to believe there can be any kind of problem with a Tijuana plastic surgery clinic.
* Well, at least she was able to get it all off her chest. Well, not ALL off her chest …
* She didn’t want the breast implants, but on the bright side, they cost her much less than they would have in the U.S.

MAN ASSAULTS WIFE WITH OREOS

In Lake County, Florida, a man was arrested after he allegedly hurled a package of Oreo cookies at his wife during an argument about the coffee maker not having any water in it. John Sandoval, 70, was charged with felony domestic battery last Saturday morning. According to deputies, Mr. Sandoval and his wife got into the argument, and he chucked a package of Oreo cookies that hit her in the chest, causing her to fall.
* And that’s the way the cookie crumbles, literally.
* Time to switch to decaf.
* Fortunately, it was those new, crappy Oreos with a thinner cookie and not as much creme filling, so damage was minimal.
* Good thing they weren’t biscotti. Ouch!!
* I can’t imagine the evidence survived the trip to the station house.

DOCTORS FIND LIVE, FULL-SIZED FLY IN MAN’S INTESTINE DURING COLONOSCOPY

Doctors in Missouri found a live fly buzzing around inside a man’s intestines during his colonoscopy. The 63-year-old patient had come in for a routine colon cancer screening earlier this year. The procedure was going normally until doctors reached the transverse colon — the area at the top of the large intestine — where they found a fully intact fly. Doctors think it could be due to contaminated lettuce the man ate the day before his appointment. The last thing he had consumed before the required 24-hour fast was a pizza and lettuce. He told doctors he had only consumed clear liquids the day before his colonoscopy, as is required to clear the intestinal tract. In rare cases, flies have laid eggs in fruits and vegetables that have then survived the stomach acid and hatched in the intestines.
* Oh, that’s comforting to know.
* Maybe it was that budget caviar from Walmart.
* The lesson here is, wash your lettuce. And your pizza.
* I know an old lady who swallowed a fly. Perhaps she’ll die.
* Just curious – were the windows in the operating room open?

ASTRONAUTS MIGHT SUFFER FROM E.D.

Not sure how they know this, but scientists say male astronauts may return from deep space suffering from erectile dysfunction. In a study to assess the impact of galactic radiation and weightlessness on male sexual health, NASA-funded researchers found that galactic cosmic rays, along with microgravity, can impair the function of erectile tissues, with effects lasting potentially for decades. The researchers said they had identified the condition as “a new health risk to consider with deep space exploration.” They called for the sexual health of astronauts to be closely monitored on their return from future deep space missions.
* NOW who wants to go to Mars??
* So all systems are not a go.
* You know, you get into space and you’ve got a payload to deliver, you don’t want docking problems.
* This is not good news for astronauts doing research on the Big Bang.
* Houston, we have a REAL problem now.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WIFE PROTESTS HUSBAND’S $6000 SEX BENDER AT AUSTRALIAN BROTHEL

A woman has threatened to protest outside a brothel in Molendinar, Australia, in the Gold Coast region, after her husband spent $6000 on a seven-hour sex-bender. The man went to the Pentagon Grand brothel where he had sessions with two sex workers, and then paid for service upgrades including fetishes and fantasies. The manager of the brothel, Suzanne Pfeifer, said the man paid for the first hour with cash because he did not want his wife to know. But when he wanted to continue the session he used a credit card. After seven hours the sex workers said they were too tired to continue and the man left. After noticing the massive charge on the credit card statement, the wife later turned up at the brothel with her husband in tow, claiming he had been “drunk and on drugs” and had no recollection of the incident. (* The world’s oldest excuse meets the world’s oldest profession!) Pfeifer pointed out that the man seemed sober in security footage and had successfully negotiated a good deal with the sex workers, something that would have been hard to do if he had been drunk or on drugs. The woman threatened to protest outside the establishment.
* A seven-hour sex-bender. After 7 hours, I bet it was bent. Ouch.
* The next time he goes to the brothel, the manager should just tell him to beat it.
* The girls lasted seven hours? Boy, you gotta hand it to them. No, really – after seven hours, you have to hand it to them.
* If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, did it make a sound? If a man has sex for seven hours and doesn’t remember, did he have any fun?
* Now the guy’s phone never stops ringing.

THREE-YEAR CRUISE CANCELED; PASSENGERS PISSED

The sales pitch was that you could spend three years traveling the world from the comfort of a cruise ship, at prices that matched regular living expenses. But now, the passengers who’d signed up for Life at Sea Cruises’ inaugural three-year voyage are cast away to the sea after the company admitted that it has no ship, and has canceled the cruise. The cruise was originally due to depart Istanbul, Turkey, on November 1. According to CNN, the departure date was pushed back multiple times and passengers said they were told its most recent sail date was Nov. 30. But on November 17, passengers were informed the cruise was off. Some of the passengers are still in Istanbul. Others say they have nowhere to return to, having sold or rented out their homes in anticipation of the round-the-world voyage, as well as selling off their possessions. The company has vowed to refund the money, but even if they do passengers now face a wait of at least several months to get their money back. Vedat Ugurlu, the owner of Life at Sea Cruises, has said he is “extremely sorry for the inconvenience.”
* If you want your money back, remember that name: Veenot Urdu…Vila Uguru… Vino—- oh, people, you are so screwed.
* He’s also offering each customer a complimentary stomach virus.
* Would you settle for a duck boat ride around Lake Tuzla?
* This idea was all wet.
* Sorry, folks, there just is no escaping the hell of everyday normal life here on Earth.

TRENDING

MARTY KROFT, “PUFNSTUF” CREATOR, DIES

Puppeteer and producer Marty Krofft has died at the age of 86. Starting in the 1960s, Krofft and his younger brother Sid created some of the most creative (* and godawful!) children shows on television: H.R. Pufnstuf, Land of the Lost, The Bugaloos, Lidsville, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, and most recently, 2015’s Mutt & Stuff for Nickelodeon. These were all Saturday morning kid’s shows, not-so-secretly influenced by the then current drug culture of pot and LSD. McDonald’s copied, and was sued over, the Kroft style for their McDonaldland characters of The Hamburglar, Mayor McCheese and the Grimace. McDonald’s lost. The Kroft brothers also helmed live-action programs such as The Brady Bunch Hour, The Donny & Marie Show, The Bay City Rollers Show, and Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters.

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: (Five day totals: Nov 22-26)

1. Hunger Games: Ballad of Songbirds of Snakes and The Longest Title We Could Think Of – $41 million
2. Napoleon – $32.5 million
3. Wish – $31.7 million
4. Trolls Band Together – $25.3 million
5. Thanksgiving – $11.1 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Cyber Monday
Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Jaleel White (actor, Steve Urkel in “Family Matters” … 47
Elizabeth Marvel (actress, “Homeland,” “Marvel’s Helstrom”) … 54
Robin Givens (actress, “Riverdale”) … 59
Mike “Puffy” Bordin (rock drummer with Faith No More) … 61
Bill Nye (engineer, educator, TV host, “Bill Nye the Science Guy) … 68
Kathryn Bigelow (director, “The Hurt Locker”) … 72

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I change my socks often, because I had bad bouts of athlete’s foot fungus infections as a kid. I may be able to change socks less frequently and not get the fungus. But, I’d rather not run the test to determine just how infrequently I could change socks.”

(A) Dwayne Johnson
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Bill Nye

ANSWER: Bill Nye

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2013 – “Frozen” was released, and became the highest-grossing animated film to date.
* So Frozen made lots of cool cash.

2005 – The world’s first successful partial face transplant was performed in France, using donor tissue to reconstruct the face of Isabelle Dinoire, who had been mauled by a dog.
* Don’t you hate it when animals get in your face?

1989 – 21-month old Alyssa Smith became the first person to receive a liver transplant from a living donor – her mother, Teresa Smith – at the University of Chicago Medical Center.
* Usually kids hate it when their mom gives them liver.

1895 – Alfred Nobel signed his last will which called for his estate and fortune that he made as the inventor of dynamite to be used for creating awards for those who contributed to the benefit of mankind. The will created 5 awards – in physics, chemistry, medicine, literature and peace, and was signed in the Swedish–Norwegian Club in Paris.
* How Nobel of him.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – Taylor Swift was at No.1 on the US album charts with her fifth studio album “1989.” It became the best-selling album of 2014 in the US.

1991 – Freddie Mercury’s funeral service was conducted by a Zoroastrian priest, for 35 of his close friends and family, with Elton John and the remaining members of Queen among those in attendance. Mercury was cremated at Kensal Green Cemetery, West London, England.

1970 – George Harrison released “All Things Must Pass” which includes the hit singles ‘My Sweet Lord’ and ‘What Is Life.’ The title track had been turned down for inclusion on releases by the Beatles. The triple album would go on to be certified 6x Platinum by the RIAA, making it the best selling album by a solo Beatle.

1962 – The Beatles recorded their first BBC radio session at the BBC Paris studio on Regent Street in London. They played ‘Twist and Shout,’ ‘Love Me Do’ and ‘P.S. I Love You.’ The tracks were aired on the BBC Light Program ‘Talent Spot.’

1961 – Neil Christian and the Crusaders, featuring a young Jimmy Page on guitar, played a concert at Holloway Women’s Prison in London, England.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent survey, the average person does THIS for about 3 hours over the weekend. What is it?
Unpaid work

2. More than half of those surveyed have done THIS at least once at work. What is it?
Brought in donuts

3. Nearly 15% of people have gotten in huge trouble at work because of THIS. What is it?
Playing Fantasy Sports

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