WEDNESDAY, Sept 27 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, September 27, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Simulator; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CRUSH A CAN DAY
The Giftypedia website says this:
“We all should do our part in recycling, especially since today is Crush a Can Day. If you are living green, you probably crush cans every day. Or if you’re a kid, you probably are crushing them in your bicycle wheel everyday. If these aren’t you, then take this day to crush some cans. Drop them off for recycling in exchange for money, or the nearest kid could always use a new one for a quick game of kick the can.”

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE MILK DAY

NATIONAL CORNED BEEF HASH DAY

WORLD TOURISM DAY

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

THE BUZZ

THE COST OF RAISING A CHILD

A new study by LendingTree finds the average annual essential costs to raise a small child rose nearly 20% between 2016 and 2021. The study took into account the cost of food, clothing, transportation, child care, health care, among other factors.
– The cost of raising a child in 2021 equaled $30,506 per year in Hawaii, more than any other state. The District of Columbia and the state of Washington followed at $30,097 and $28,116, respectively.
– The costs were lowest in Mississippi at $15,555 per year, Alabama at $16,192 and Arkansas at $16,284.
– It costs an average $237,482 over 18 years to raise a child. Again, it’s highest in Hawaii at $314,529 and lowest in South Carolina at $169,327.
* South Carolinians better started learning to do the hula – here come the Hawaiians!
* “Hey, Zack – get out there and set up a lemonade stand!”
* If only the grocery bills didn’t triple when they become teenagers.
* What about wolves? What if you let your child be raised by wolves?

THE WORST GIFTS

A poll of 2,000 adults, by personalized book publishers Wonderbly, found 75% of people receive up to seven presents each year which they’ll never use. Here are the Top 40 Worst Gifts To Receive:
– (#1-10) Bad romance novels, Diet plan, Car manual, Soap on a string, Children’s toys, Cufflinks, A tie, Hankies, Aftershave, Movies you’ve already seen
– (#11-20) New map of the United States, Cleaning products, Joke books, Address books, New windshield wipers, Sports memorabilia, De-icer, Boxer underwear, Mousepad, Dressing gown
– (#21-30) Apron, Party games, A scarf, Chocolate coins, Calendars, Bath salts/bubble bath, Iron, Anti-ageing products, Potpourri, Car maintenance kit
– (#31-40) One of those packs with beer or gin with a glass to drink it out of, Crossword book, Gym membership, Hamper, Chocolate fondue set, Photo frames, Hairdryer, Knitwear, Slogan t-shirts, Novelty socks
– (#41-50) Perfume, Lingerie, Electric toothbrush, A mug, Stationary, Bottle of booze, Slippers, Toiletry kits, Electric blanket, Foot spa
* I’m sorry, but you can’t go wrong with booze or chocolate. Or novelty socks.
* “Thanks for the diet plan!” said nobody ever.
* Winter’s coming. I’ll take the windshield wipers.
* Everybody involved in this survey overlooked that you can sell unwanted gifts on eBay. It’s free money!!!
* So, after eliminating all these things, what’s left to give? A pony? A dozen eggs?
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the most useless gift you ever got?

U.S. NEWS

TEENAGER FALLS DOWN TUMBLEDOWN MOUNTAIN

A teenager was rescued by helicopter after he broke his leg falling about 60 feet down Tumbledown Mountain in Maine on Sunday. Kyle Lund, 15, was hiking the Loop Trail with one of his friends when he fell. Despite being only 1.5 miles, the trail is steep and challenging for hikers.
* Hope they sent the irony copter.
* What’s your first clue that Tumbledown Mountain is dangerous? Anybody? Anybody?
* Maybe expand the name to “Tumbledown – Tumble! Down! Which Is What You’ll Do! – Mountain.”
* Good thing he fell before they reached Dropoff Point.
* I guess they left out the part about him looking at social media instead of the trail.
* What’s the deal, Maine? Too cheap to put up railings?

TEACHER HID METH IN HER HAIR SCRUNCHIE

An Evansville, Indiana, middle school teacher was arrested after two students found methamphetamine stashed inside her hair scrunchie. Helfrich Park STEM Academy was hosting a family fun night on September 12. During the event, teacher Sarah Duncan posed with students in a photo booth. Duncan had let her hair down for the photo. Later, as students were cleaning up the area they noticed a scrunchie that was heavier than a typical scrunchie. It had a zipper pouch which they opened to find a glass vial of white powder along with a cut straw with white powder. They immediately notified another teacher, who secured the scrunchie in her classroom and notified the school’s principal and assistant principal. Meanwhile, two janitors noticed that Duncan was “frantically searching for some sort of hair tie” after the event had ended. Police were called. They performed a field test for methamphetamine on the scrunchie, which came back positive. Two days later, Duncan was accompanied to a nearby clinic for a drug urine screening. During the screening, a pouch of clean urine allegedly fell out of her pants. Duncan stated that she did not know how or when the container of someone else’s urine got into her shorts.
* The shorts’ previous owner left it there?
* ♪♫ “Don’t know much about history / Don’t know much about this vial of pee…” ♫♫
* Nobody uses the old “I must have a split personality” trick any more. That was a classic.
* Looks like somebody was having more fun than anybody else at family fun night.
* Well, this explains why her teeth are just little brown nubbins.

CARS STUCK ON THE BEACH CALENDAR

There are some beaches where you can drive you car right onto the sand. Brigantine Beach in New Jersey isn’t one of them. Yet a lot of people do, and a lot of people get stuck. Vehicles with four-wheel drive are allowed onto the beach with a special permit. Car owners ignore the warning and drive toward the ocean anyway, typically sinking immediately. Brigantine business owner Andrew Grossman, owner of Rip Tide Bait and Tackle, saw a business opportunity. Grossman makes an annual calendar with photos of the many cars that become stuck in the sand. And every year, the “Beached Cars of Brigantine Calendar” sells out. Captain Grossman says he has so many pictures for 2024 he might do two per page, adding, “They’re telling me to do baseball cards.”
* Or invest in a towtruck with a grappling hook.
* It’s like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar, but with more aerodynamic bodies.
* They say Miss February is a full-frontal – headlights and everything.
* Spoiler alert: the July car has a spoiler.
* Hurry up and snap those pictures before the tide comes in!

TRENDINGGOLDEN GLOBES ADDS “BEST BLOCKBUSTER” CATEGORY

The Golden Globes, now in its “Please watch us, we beg you” phase, has added to new categories: one called “Cinematic Achievement,” which is basically for arthouse movies that nobody sees; the other is for “Box Office Achievement,” a category for movies that have earned over $150 million. Critics say the additional categories – particularly the Box Office category – are designed to make sure movies that have actually been seen by large numbers of people get air time.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween
Nov. 5, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Saturday – Veterans Day
Nov. 23, Thursday – Thanksgiving

BIRTHDAYS

Avril Lavigne (singer/songwriter) … 39
Gwyneth Paltrow (actress) … 51
Marc Maron (comedian, actor, “Respect,” “Maron,” “WTF” podcaster) … 60
Shaun Cassidy (singer-actor-director, one-time teen idol) … 65
Randy Bachman (singer, guitarist with Guess Who, Bachman-Turner Overdrive) … 80

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I hate that people want so much from me and that people are always asking things from me.”

(A) God
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Gwyneth Paltrow

ANSWER: (C) Gwyneth Paltrow

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1996 – A group of former seminary students called “The Taliban” took control of the government of Afghanistan.
* If only they’d grown up to be … I don’t know … farmers, truck drivers, ANYTHING else.

1995 – The U.S. government unveiled the redesigned $100 bill.
* Big deal. I work in radio. When am I ever gonna see a $100 bill?

1989 – Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first to ever survive the Horseshoe Falls.
* Unfortunately, their underwear wasn’t as lucky.

1986 – The U.S. Senate approved federal tax code changes that were the most sweeping since World War II.
* So how come I’m still broke? Oh, yeah – as I said, I work in radio.

1967 – The Queen Mary cruise liner arrived back in England today in 1967 at the end of her final voyage. One British government aide said: “We’ll never see another Queen cruising quite like her.”
* This, from the country that gave us Elton John and George Michael.

1964 – The Warren Commission issued a report on the assassination of U.S. President John F. Kennedy in November of 1963. The report concluded that Lee Harvey Oswald had acted alone.
* The commission members then mysteriously all received brand new cars.

1937 – The first Santa Claus training school opened in Albion, NY.
* Now those losers who played kings at summer Renaissance Festivals had a way to make a few bucks in the winter.

1892 – Joshua Pusey, originally from Lima, PA, received the patent for the very first book of matches.
* With the first ever “Learn to Be a Truck Driver” ad on the front.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2011 – Tony Bennett became the oldest living person to top the U.S. album chart when the 85-year-old’s “Duets II” album went to No.1. The record, which featured collaborations with Amy Winehouse and Lady Gaga, was also his first U.S. No.1 in his 60-year career. The previous oldest performer to top the chart was Bob Dylan in 2009 with “Together Through Life.” At the time he was 67 years old.

2003 – Kylie Minogue called in police to investigate a series of threatening letters. The singer became concerned after receiving 700 letters at her home and office. The letters started as ordinary fan mail but became increasingly aggressive.

2000 – Thieves broke into Jerry Hall’s home and stole jewelry worth $12,000 and a laptop computer. Two of Jerry’s children were asleep at the time while the ex-Mrs. Jagger was on stage appearing in The Graduate.

1990 – Dee Dee Ramone of the Ramones was arrested for possessing marijuana during a drug bust in New York’s Greenwich Village.

1990 – Marvin Gaye’s name was added to Hollywood Boulevard’s “Walk Of Fame” in Los Angeles.

1987 – Dolly Parton’s TV show “Dolly” was shown for the first time on ABC.

1986 – Lionel Richie hit No.1 on the U.S. album charts with “Dancing On The Ceiling.”

1964 – The Beach Boys made their TV debut on “The Ed Sullivan Show.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Research shows women will use 434 of THESE in their lifetime, while men will only use 192. What are they?
Pairs of shoes

2. Research shows men will spend time equivalent to 46 days of their life doing THIS and women will spend 130. What is it?
Getting ready to go out

3. When surveyed, both men and women say THIS is the least attractive part of their significant other’s body. What is it?
Their feet

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