WEDNESDAY, Aug 30 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, August 30, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Labor Day

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

FRANKENSTEIN DAY
Birthday of “Frankenstein” author Mary Wollenstone Shelley, born on August 30, 1797.

INTERNATIONAL WHALE SHARK DAY

NATIONAL MARSHMALLOW TOASTING DAY

NATIONAL HOLISTIC PET DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

BOB BARKER: THE TRIBUTE

CBS, having absolutely nothing to put on their television network, has cobbled together a tribute to the late Bob Barker, who died Saturday at age 99. “The Price Is Right: A Tribute to Bob Barker” will air Thursday evening. Current Price Is Right host Drew Carey hosts the special, compiling highlights of Barker’s 35-year hosting career and animal activism. Those highlights include Barker’s first and final episodes, the introduction of fan-favorite game Plinko, celebrity appearances, contestants getting emotional and bloopers. Expect to also see the fight scene with Adam Sandler from “Happy Gilmore,” along with a bit Sandler did in 2007 to celebrate Barker’s retirement. The special will air again in The Price Is Right’s daytime slot Monday.
* We have GOT to get this actor’s strike solved, pronto.
* One of the producers told his boss the special would cost almost nothing to throw together, and his boss said “The price is right!”
* Neil Armstrong didn’t get this long a sendoff.
* Why end at a tribute? Why not a national holiday? In honor of his animal activism we can call is Spay Day.
* I just hope that, when he passes, they do as good a job for Wink Martindale.

R&B SINGER MIGUEL PERFORMS SUSPENDED BY BACK PIERCINGS

Last Friday, R&B singer Miguel hosted a special preview at Sony Studios for his newest album, Viscera, where he stunned fans with a shocking performance. A shirtless Miguel was accompanied by staff who pierced metal hooks through his back – just above his shoulder blades – and then attached the piercings to wires dangling from the ceiling. He was lifted off the stage. Suspended from the air, Miguel performed a new song, singing the lyrics “I’m hanging onto nothing / I’m hanging from the ceiling.” (* The next line in the song is, “Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.”) In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Miguel explained the reason behind this bone-chilling stunt, saying, “Anyone who’s here for the one-dimensional version of me is not really here for me. It was a scary and freeing experience and emotion to go through because it’s such a light switch,” he said. “It has so much to do with pain. What does pain mean?”
* You could have looked it up in a dictionary, but whatever.
* I’m not sure about the lyric, but the song obviously has a nice hook.
* His next tour will be sponsored by Band-Aid, and Walgreen’s Hydrogen Peroxide.
* Let’s see Taylor Swift top THAT.

THE BUZZ

A WOMAN’S TOUCH

Reddit asked formerly single men to share examples of how their living situation improved with a “woman’s touch” after she moved into their place. Some of the responses:
– “She stopped me from almost burning down my apartment when she pulled an entire stuffed animal’s worth of lint out of my dryer. I didn’t know that was a thing.”
– “She made a raised flower bed in my backyard and planted a nice little vegetable garden.”
– “The biggest difference is having a more well-stuffed fridge. When living alone, I just mostly stocked up on the bare minimum when it came to food and could have the same type of meal for several days in a row.”
– “Photos on the wall. She said it was weird I had nothing on the walls but my TV. Within a year, about 100 pictures of us, our families, and friends are now up on the walls. I still don’t get it, but it makes her happy.”
– “We now have, without exaggeration, 15 end tables in the house. Four more in the attic, just in case.”
– “My ex had it looking like a home —decor, rugs, wall hangings, etc. It was ten times better. She took it all when she left, and I never got around to trying it out myself. I should, though. It really looked so much better.”
– “My girlfriend moves in and loads up on scented hand soaps in the bathrooms. Now we have a serious adult discussion on what scent to pick out next.”
– “My bed was a mattress on the floor for like five years. She bought a bed frame. I married her.”
* PHONE TOPIC: How has your living situation improved when a woman moved in?

FUNNY NAMES THAT KIDS GIVE THINGS

Here’s another round of Funny Names That Kids Give Things:
– “My daughter called children’s liquid ibuprofen ‘pain juice.’”
– “My 1yo recently learned how to say Hiiiii!’ Except she pronounces it with a “D.” So every morning when I get her up the first thing she says to me in her sweet little voice is: ‘Dieeeeee.’”
– “Daughter said she wanted to be a street walker when she grows up, took me awhile until I realized she meant a crossing guard.”
– “My son has just called sausages ‘flesh cylinders.'”
– “At bedtime today my 3 y/o son said he loved my wife’s nipples on her face. Confused, we said do you mean freckles? He meant freckles.”
– “The waiter kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.”
– “My 10yo saw a can of salt on the counter and asked what ‘idiotized salt’ was.”
– “Today my 6 year old called her molars ‘the teeth with 4 legs.'”
– “The toddler said the ‘ankle on his arm’ hurt and you might think that means wrist but in fact it meant armpit.”
– “My three-year-old called a fly swatter a ‘fly slaughter.'”
– “My 9yo just told me: ‘Thank you, Catherine Obvious.'”
* PHONE TOPIC: Does your kid have a cute name for something?

U.S. NEWS

ROBBERS STEAL TV REPORTER’S CAMERA

A pair of Chicago TV journalists were setting up to do a report on the spate of robberies and carjackings that plagued the city over the weekend when they were held up at gunpoint by three men wearing ski masks. It happened around 4:30 a.m. on Monday. The reporter and cameraman were standing near the 1200 block of North Milwaukee Ave. when the robbers, wearing ski masks and displaying guns, made off with their TV video camera.
* Usually they steal the actual TVs.
* At least those three men saved Chicagoans from another stereotypical boring news report.
* Report on what you know, they always say.
* 4:30 a.m.? The early bird gets the TV camera?
* Somebody’s TikTok videos are about top take a step up in quality.
* Are they sure the thieves weren’t from a competing news channel?

BURGER KING SUED FOR NOT MAKING WHOPPERS LOOK LIKE THE PICTURES OF WHOPPERS

A U.S. judge has rejected Burger King’s bid to dismiss a lawsuit claiming that its advertising makes its Whopper hamburger appear larger than it actually is. The judge in Miami said Burger King must defend against a claim that its depiction of Whoppers on in-store menu boards mislead customers. The customers filing the lawsuit accuse Burger King of portraying burgers with ingredients that “overflow over the bun,” making it appear that the burgers are 35% larger and contain more than double the meat as the chain actually serves. While Burger King argues that it isn’t required to deliver burgers that look “exactly like the picture,” the judge said it was up to jurors to “tell us what reasonable people think.”
* Are you kidding? Reasonable people are the ones that are smart enough to get out of jury duty.
* Reasonable people are the ones that know to eat at In-N-Out instead of Burger King.
* Sounds like this case can be decided with a jury field trip to Burger King for lunch.
* Relax. If Whoppers were as big as they are in the pictures, they’d be $12 each.

TRENDINGTIM MCGRAW FOOLS RECORD EXECS

Country star Tim McGraw is admitting that he’s pulled a fast one on record execs who ask him to change his music. In a recent interview, McGraw says, “You’ll play a mix for somebody, like an executive or something, and they’ll go, ‘Y’know, this really sounds great, but I think if you tweaked it right here, and you tweaked it right there, and you did a few little tweaks on the mix, it’d be really good.'” “And I’d go, ‘OK.’ Couple days later, I’d come back with the same mix and say, ‘We tweaked it, took your suggestions.’ And I’ll play it, and they’d all go, ‘Hot damn. That’s exactly what it needed. Now it sounds great.'”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 15, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Cameron Diaz (actress) … 51
Sherrie Austin (country singer) … 52
Michael Chiklis (actor, “Gotham,” “American Horror Story,” “The Shield”) … 60
Lewis Black (comedian, actor) … 75
Robert Crumb (anti-establishment cartoonist, created Mr. Natural (Keep On Truckin’) and Fritz the Cat) … 80

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Most men are the same. They’re only interested in (blank)ing you and they don’t care whether you’re happy or sad. They just want to get on with their business in and out of bed, and they make you feel that you don’t count except as their sex toy.”

(A) Whoopi Goldberg
(B) Madonna
(C) Cameron Diaz

ANSWER: (C) Cameron Diaz

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2021 – China restricts online gaming for under 18s to one hour on Fridays, weekends and holidays, and orders companies to enforce the regulation.
* “And pick up your room – it looks like a hurricane hit it.”

1996 – An expedition to raise part of the Titanic failed when the nylon lines being used to raise part of the hull snapped.
* Nylon? Nice to know they didn’t spare any expense.

1993 – On CBS-TV “The Late Show with David Letterman” premiered.
* That was back when he had almost normal hair.

1990 – President George H.W. Bush told a news conference that a “new world order” could emerge from the Gulf crisis.
* Osama bin Laden had other plans for what that order would look like.

1965 – Thurgood Marshall was confirmed by the U.S. Senate as a Supreme Court justice. Marshall was the first black justice to sit on the Supreme Court.
* Nice to see a black man wearing robes for a change.

1963 – The “Hotline” between Moscow and Washington went into operation.
* It was instituted to help avert world disasters, and also of course to manage that high-level international call-girl ring.

1918 – Vladamir Lenin, the new leader of Soviet Russia, was shot and wounded after a speech.
* Tough audience.

1146 – The crossbow was outlawed in Europe, with the intention of ending war for all time.
* These days, it would be a big improvement if wars were fought with ONLY crossbows!

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – The 2017 edition of Guinness World Records said that Ringo Starr’s copy of The Beatles’ White Album was officially the most expensive LP ever sold at auction. Guinness confirmed that a December 2015 sale at Julien’s Auction House set a new high for album prices when the first-edition copy with the catalog number 0000001, which was kept in a vault in perfect condition by Starr for more than 35 years, sold for $790,000.

2003 – Stella McCartney married publisher Alasdhiar Willis on Scotland’s Isle Of Bute. Guests included Sir Paul McCartney, Madonna, Chrissie Hynde and Coldplay’s Chris Martin.

1998 – Marilyn Manson changed his appearance from blackened eyes for lighter makeup and 70’s outfits including platform shoes. The sound of his album “Mechanical Animals” was a radical change from the 1996 album “Antichrist Superstar.”

1989 – Billy Joel fired his manager and former brother-in-law Frank Weber, after an audit revealed discrepancies. Joel sued Weber and Allen Grubman, the lawyer who had long represented him in his dealings with Sony Music, for $90 million. In the fall of 1993, the suit was settled with a payment from Sony of $3 million.

1989 – Izzy Stradlin (Guns ‘N’ Roses) was arrested for creating a disturbance on an airline flight.

1988 – Bruce Springsteen’s wife Julianne filed for a divorce after newspapers published photos of Springsteen and backing singer Patti Scialfa together while staying in a hotel.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 37% of women surveyed said they miss THIS the most when on vacation. What is it?
Their pets

2. Experts say you should do THIS for your pet every day, but you probably don’t. What is it?
Give them clean food and water bowls every day

3. Roughly a million and a half Americans have one of THESE animals as a pet. What is it?
A rabbit

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