WEDNESDAY, July 12 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP EMAIL AND TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, July 12, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: EARWORM; A & M AUTOLAND – Everything’s On Sale; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL DIFFERENT COLORED EYES DAY

NATIONAL PECAN PIE DAY

PAPER BAG DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“Each July 12th, we recognize the significance of an invention that we take for granted on Paper Bag Day. Millions of people use paper bags every day. Readily recyclable, paper bags have been around for many years. American inventor Francis Wolle received credit for his patent of the first paper bag machine in 1852. Margaret E. Knight became known as ‘the mother of the grocery bag’ after she designed the square, flat bottom and the machine that would fold and paste them in 1870.”

SIMPLICITY DAY – Birth date of Henry David Thoreau

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

BRITNEY SPEARS, THE MEMOIR

Britney Spears announced her forthcoming memoir “The Woman in Me” on Instagram Tuesday morning. The book will go on sale October 24, 2023. It will cover Spears’ journey through fame, motherhood and ultimately to freedom after her battle to end her conservatorship with her father. According to the press release, “The Woman in Me” will reveal “for the first time her incredible journey (and) strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history.” (* Just try saying that with a straight face.) In her announcement, Britney wrote, “It’s coming, my story, on my terms, at last. Are you ready?”
* Bet it was ghost-written.
* She still has a few more months to try to ‘memoir’ the years 2006-2008. Those were the rough ones.
* Britney says she will be doing a lot of promotion for the book, which means a month’s worth of nude selfies in September.
* What’s weird is, even in the audiobook version, you can tell she’s lipsyncing.

THE HALLMARK CHANNEL CRUISE

Hallmark Channel announced a cruise experience called the Hallmark Channel Christmas Cruise. The adventure will allow guests to fully immerse themselves in a Hallmark Channel Christmas, cruising with fans of the channel, watching the many, many…many Hallmark Christmas movies, mingling with Hallmark stars, Christmas cookie decorating, “Christmas Carol-oke,” an ugly sweater contest and Hallmark Channel wine tastings, among other offerings. The ship — the Norwegian Gem — is scheduled to set sail Nov. 5-9 in 2024, taking off from Miami and hitting Nassau, Bahamas.
* Oh, god, throw me overboard now.
* There’s the old joke: What has fifteen actors, four settings, two writers, and one plot? 638 Hallmark movies.
* Hallmark can’t pass up this opportunity to film more Christmas movies onboard the ship, can they?
– A Christmas Cruise
– Christmas at Sea
– Bahamas By Christmas
– The 12 Days of Food Poisoning
– Overboard for the Holidays
– Sant-Ahoy!
– A Conga Line Christmas
– Love in a Lifeboat
– Reindeer and Dramamine
– All I Want For Christmas Is My Cabin Boy
– Set Sail For Santa!
– Muster Drill & Mistletoe
– The Night Before Norovirus
– The Cruise Director That Christmas Forgot
– Present on the Poop Deck

THE BUZZ

THE STUPIDEST THING I DID TO TRY AND BE COOL

Reddit asked, “What is the stupidest thing you have ever done to try to be cool?” Some of the responses:
– “Wearing sunglasses indoors and at night.”
– “Told someone I had a pet turkey. I have no idea why, I was like six and thought it would be cool.”
– “I crashed my father’s BMW in front of my friends on the first day that I got my driving license.”
– “Got pulled over for playing my car stereo too loud. Took the ticket, turned it back up. Took another ticket, turned it back up. Took a third ticket, turned it back up. Spent the night in jail.”
– “Spilled my drink to hide that I peed my pants.”
– “Had my mullet cut off but left a rat tail, then had it braided.”
– “Flock of Seagulls hair style.”
– “Wore my pants backwards during the 90s when Kriss Kross was popular.”
– “Learned the dance to “it’s gonna be me “ by NSYNC because I thought the chicks loved it. Then did it at my uncle’s retirement party where a couple girls were. Most embarrassing moment of my life.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What stupid thing have you done to try and be cool?

U.S. NEWS

PLANE PASSENGER CAUSES FLIGHT TO DIVERT WHEN HE DOESN’T GET HIS FIRST CHOICE OF MEAL

United Airlines flight 20 from Houston to Amsterdam on Monday had to first divert to Chicago when, according to the incident report, a business class passenger threw a tantrum over not having his first choice of meal available. After removing the passenger and refueling at O’Hare, the flight just landed, about three and a half hours late.
* And the country of Amsterdam thanks United Airlines for keeping this idiot out of their country.
* Usually passengers revolt when they DO get the meal United serves them.
* The next step is to build airplanes with passenger ejector seats.
* He didn’t get his dinner, but he got his… just desserts.

AMERICANS CUT BACK ON HYGIENE PRODUCTS. THIS IS BAD FOR CORPORATIONS.

According to a May consumer spending report, Americans are cutting back on personal hygiene products. This is seen as a troubling sign for the US economy and consumer-focused corporations. Americans are skimping, even on everyday items such as toilet paper and toothpaste. ( * And, uh, I hate to tell you guys, but mouthwash, too.) Units sold of toothpaste, laundry detergent and toilet paper are down around 3%-4%. Experts note that some products are being used less at home as Americans return to work and travel. However, at Procter & Gamble and their rival rival Kimberly-Clark, shipment volumes have declined for the past four quarters as consumers shift to less-expensive store brands.
* This is an outrage. We have to start buying more toothpaste so our coroprate executives can have more boats and cabins by the lake!
* Are toilet paper sales really down? Are people wiping less? Is that a thing?
* Look, the money for more streaming services has to come from somewhere. And since we’re at home watching and not out in public, personal hygiene takes a hit.
* Forgive me if I don’t shed any tears for Proctor & Gamble. I can’t anyway, because we’re out of Kleenex here.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

NO OPENING CHAMPAGNE DURING PLAY AT WIMBLEDON

A fan popped a bottle of Champagne during a match on Sunday during the Wimbledon tennis tournament, where silence during play is the traditional etiquette. The offense happened during a match on No. 3 Court between Anastasia Potapova and Mirra Andreeva, both of Russia. Potapova was mid-serve when the pop of a Champagne cork was heard — she then hit the serve long. Potapova lost the point on her second serve. The umpire told the crowd, “Ladies and gentlemen, please, if you are opening a bottle of Champagne don’t do it as the player is about to serve. Thank you.”
* The wealthy have a whole different set of problems, don’t they.
* No one likes to hear booze from the audience.
* It must be the equivalent of unwrapping hard candy during a quiet scene at the movies.

SCREAMING WOMAN WAS ACTUALLY A PET PARROT

Police responding to a report of a screaming woman in Essex, England, were surprised to discover the sound was actually a squawking pet parrot. Steve Wood, 54, the parrot’s owner, said he was initially confused when police showed up at his home in the town of Canvey Island. The officers explained they had received a report of a screaming woman, but when they saw Wood’s 22 pet parrots they quickly figured it out. Mr. Wood said all of his parrots tend to be vocal in the mornings and evenings, but one of the birds, 3-year-old Freddie, has been especially loud lately.
* So loud that he covers up the sound of the screaming woman in the basement.
* With all those birds screaming at him, there’s certainly no need to get married.
* The parrot said, “I can also do a dog, a motorcycle starting, and Christopher Walken.”
* All in a day’s chuckle for the Essex Police Department.

TRENDING

KEVIN COSTNER MUST PAY $129,000 A MONTH TO EX-WIFE

Kevin Costner has been ordered to pay more than double his proposed amount of child support to his estranged wife, Christine Baumgartner. A judge ruled Tuesday that the “Yellowstone” star has to pay the handbag designer $129,755 per month to support their three children together. Costner had claimed that a “reasonable” amount of child support for Baumgartner would be $51,940 a month. Additionally, the judge ordered that Costner, 68, is required to pay $200,000 in attorney’s fees and $100,000 in forensic costs. The former couple, who tied the knot in 2004, will each be required to pay 50 percent of their kids’ health care expenses, sports and extracurricular activities. Baumgartner, 49, filed for divorce from the actor after 18 years of marriage in May, citing “irreconcilable differences.”

ARETHA FRANKLIN’S WILL, FOUND IN COUCH, IS VALID

A document written by the late Aretha Franklin that was found in a couch was determined to be a valid will by a Michigan jury. Following her death in 2018, her family initially believed Franklin hadn’t left a will and planned to split her multi-million dollar estate and royalties among her four sons, Ted White II, Kecalf Franklin, Edward Franklin and Clarence Franklin. But In 2019, Franklin’s niece Sabrina Owens found two handwritten notes from the singer, one dated 2010 in a cabinet and another dated 2014 in a notebook under a couch cushion, detailing how she’d like her estate split. In her 2014 will, her son Kecalf and his grandchildren would inherit Franklin’s estate in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, which was valued at $1.1 million after she died. Franklin’s four sons will be sharing income from music and copyrights.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Rachel Brosnahan (actress, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”) … 33
Melissa O’Neill (actress, “The Rookie”) … 35
Michelle Rodriguez (actress, “Fast & Furious” movies) … 45
Cheryl Ladd (actress, “Charlie’s Angels”) … 72
Richard Simmons (fitness pitchman) … 75
Bill Cosby (disgraced comedian, actor) … 86

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I don’t see the point of marriage. But when I need my love, I get my love.”

(A) Bill Clinton
(B) Hillary Clinton
(C) Michelle Rodriguez

ANSWER: (C) Michelle Rodriguez

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1996 – England’s Prince Charles and Princess Diana reached a divorce agreement.
* She got custody of the paparazzi.

1960 – The first “Etch-A-Sketch” went on sale. Over 50 million were sold in the next 25 years.
* And it’s STILL impossible to draw a circle on one.

1960 – The USSR launched spacecraft Sputnik 5 containing two dogs.
* They spent most of the trip trying to trying to stick their heads out the window.

1954 – US president Eisenhower proposed the construction of America’s interstate highway system.
* They figured it would give 100,000 people construction jobs, and employ another 800,000 to stand around and watch them work.

1933 – A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in the US.
* Somebody tell my boss.

1928 – A tennis match was televised for the first time.
* And when the TV producers saw how much money they saved by not needing writers and actors, network sports coverage was born.

1920 – US president Woodrow Wilson opened the Panama Canal.
* At least we let Panama keep their name on it.

1859 – The paper bag manufacturing machine was patented.
* Finally, carpenters no longer had to carve individual paper bags out of blocks of wood.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2012 – Pollstar magazine announced that as of this date, former Pink Floyd bassist Roger Waters had grossed up $158.1 million in concert ticket sales worldwide so far during the year with The Wall Live show. Bruce Springsteen came in second place with $79.9 million.

2008 – Rolling Stone Ron Wood left his wife of 23 years and moved in with an 18-year-old Russian cocktail waitress. The 61-year-old dad-of-four met the teenager while out drinking and took her away to his luxury pad in Ireland.

1996 – Smashing Pumpkins drummer Jimmy Chamberlain was charged with drug possession after the death of the band’s keyboard player Jonathan Melvoin in his New York hotel room.

1988 – Michael Jackson arrived in the UK for his first ever-solo appearances. He performed a total of eight nights to 794,000 people.

1979 – This was Disco Demolition Night at Comiskey Park in Chicago, Illinois. Two Chicago radio DJs came up with the idea of having people bring unwanted disco records to the stadium. The spurned records would be burned between doubleheader games with the White Sox and the Detroit Tigers. Lead by the chant, “Disco Sucks!” most of the records weren’t burned, but sailed through the stands during the game – nearly inciting a riot. Some fans started their own fires and mini-riots. There was so much commotion that the ballplayers couldn’t even finish the last game of the doubleheader; the White Sox forfeited.

1962 – The Rolling Stones made their live debut at the Marquee Jazz Club, London, with Dick Taylor on bass (later of The Pretty Things) and Mick Avory on drums, (later of The Kinks). Billed as The Rollin’ Stones, they were paid £20 (about $56 then in U.S. dollars) for the gig.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 40% of men surveyed said they wish their wife would do THIS, but they would never actually ask them to. What is it?
Clean their hair out of the shower drain

2. 1/3 of husbands surveyed said they have hidden THIS from their wives. What is it?
A speeding ticket

3. 40% of husbands surveyed said when it comes to THIS, their wives do a much better job. What is it?
Negotiating the purchase of a new car

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