FRIDAY, May 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 26, 2023
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NOTE: MORNING SIDEKICK WILL BE OFF ON MONDAY, MAY 29 FOR THE U.S. MEMORIAL DAY HOLIDAY. WE WILL RETURN WITH PREP FOR TUESDAY, MAY 30

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: DEWEY’S LIFEGUARD SCHOOL; THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHERRY DESSERT DAY

NATIONAL EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES DAY

SALLY RIDE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Sally Ride Day honors the first American woman to go into space. Dr. Ride accomplished this feat as a mission specialist aboard STS-7, the second flight of the Space Shuttle ‘Challenger.’ STS-7 was launched from Kennedy Space Center, Florida, on June 18, 1983. Celebrate Sally Ride Day (her birthday) by learning more about the U.S. space program and NASA. If any of you young ladies (and young gentlemen) have thought about becoming an astronaut, we encourage you to follow your dream of going into space. Exploration and taming of the frontier made America what it is today.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

THE BUZZWHEN DID YOU KNOW IT WAS TIME TO QUIT?

Reddit asked, “When did you know it was time to quit your job?” Some of the responses:
– “When my parents sent chocolate-covered strawberries for my birthday to the office. My boss just expected me to give him some, but I didn’t want to share. He then proceeded to oink at me the rest of the day.”
– “I worked at a company that would teach children about sea life — sharks, jellyfish, tropical fish, etc. One day, I noticed on the feeding schedule that they hadn’t been fed in a much longer time than is safe, so I asked my boss if that was correct. He told me that he feeds the animals less so they don’t poop as much so he wouldn’t have to clean the tank as often.”
– “They had added up all the times I had logged out to use the restroom the day before — it was just over nine minutes for a ten-hour shift. They presented this info to me and told me that since I was spending so much time in the restroom, I needed to bring a doctor’s note that says I have to pee a lot.”
– “I was teaching at a toxic high school with terrible academic standards. The principal told me I would be teaching two Latin courses that year. When I said I hadn’t taken Latin since college and hadn’t really kept it up, and hadn’t ever taught a language, and that I wasn’t qualified to teach it, he blew it off and said I’d be fine.”
– “I had a meeting with the district manager about being overworked and underpaid. Her solution? ‘I can’t give you guys a raise, but I can work you more hours so you can earn more.’ The entire staff quit within days of each other.”
– “A customer harassed me verbally and sexually over the phone, asked what time I worked until, and said he was gonna come to the store. When I called my boss to report this guy’s threats, the only thing he said was to make sure I treated the man professionally when he came in.”
– “My parents had both died within a few months of each other. The office manager would use my parents’ deaths against me. Any time I made a mistake or did something she didn’t like, she’d say something like, ‘Wow, I bet your parents would be disappointed in you.’ When I quit, she said, ‘I won’t miss you always crying in the bathroom about your parents. They’re very ashamed of you, I’m sure.’ ”
– “I decided to quit after all of my coworkers tested positive for COVID and were told by management to keep it a secret so no one would ‘freak out.'”
– “I worked a part-time job as a server at a counter service food joint. Every time I made a mistake, my boss would slap me on the hand. Literally. After I realized it wasn’t an accident, I knew I had to leave that place immediately.”
* (going to commercial) We’ll be back after this. Or maybe not.
* PHONE TOPIC: When did you know it was time to quit your job?

STUDY: ELEPHANTS LIKE PEOPLE

A new study finds that elephants in captivity appear to enjoy hanging around humans. The study, published in the journal Animals and conducted by researchers at Nottingham Trent and Harper Adams universities in the UK, took a look at previous papers regarding zoo animal behavior and found that elephants appear to react positively to the presence of humans. They found that the more visitors showed up to public feedings, the less elephants moped around, and the more they engaged in healthy active behaviors like foraging. Along with elephants, the British researchers found that other animals including “penguins, jaguars, grizzly bears, polar bears, cheetahs, servals, and black-tailed prairie dogs” seemed to exhibit positive responses to visitors.
* This has nothing to do with the fact that when humans show up, so does the food, right? No connection? Right?
* Elephants say they enjoy our quick wit, our honesty and the way we’re not afraid to show our vulnerability.
* The researchers “took a look at previous papers”? So they can determine all this from sitting in the library and reading other people’s research papers? That’s good research!
* “These are the results we found in the previous results.”
* So I guess when animals attack zoo workers and Sea World employees they’re just having a cranky day.

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN SUES SUPERMARKET OVER MISMARKED APPLE PIE

A woman in Albany, New York, is suing ShopRite supermarkets because she bought a cherry pie that was mistakenly marked as an apple pie. The mixup caused her daughter to get sick and left the woman feeling “guilty, helpless, ashamed, angry, betrayed, and stressed,” the lawsuit claims. Tiffany Brady blames the supermarket for mislabeling the pastry that she bought during a trip to the store on April 20. She wants $35,000 in damages. The lawsuit states that Brady and her five children “strongly dislike and have sensitivities and allergies to cherry pie,” and her daughter “became sick the whole weekend after eating it.” Tiffany claims she was “guilt-ridden and could not sleep the entire weekend because she fed her family the mislabeled and misbranded pie.”
* Well that sounds worth a hell of a lot more than a measly 35 grand.
* Frivolous lawsuits are as American as… American as… what’s the word I’m looking for?
* She could use that $35,000 to pay for an optometrist to tell her she’s color blind. Cherries: red. Apples: white.
* To relax after the ordeal, she wanted a glass of white wine but accidentally poured a glass of red, so now she’s suing herself.

11TH GRADER LOBBIES FOR, AND WINS, A DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL

A high school student on Long Island, New York, successfully convinced his school board to give everybody off today, the Friday before Memorial Day Weekend. Ethan Brown, a Jericho High School junior, argued back at a March school board meeting that his school has 186 school days – six over the state’s required 180. He noted that there were no snow days called through the whole calendar year. “There’s no better feeling for students to wake up to snow and no school…nothing beats it,” Brown said to the board. “Next snow storm I ask Jericho school administration to consider giving us some time off.” Then, at the April board meeting, the school board announced, “We are planning to have a snow day on the Friday before Memorial Day Weekend and we’re going to call it the Ethan Brown snow day.” The superintendent added that it’s “within the realm of possibility” that Ethan Brown Snow Day could become an annual tradition.
* Yay, our students are one day less educated! Yay!
* It gives the kiddoes a day to stay home and read all those dirty library books that haven’t been banned yet.
* This story is actually way better than that Chevy Chase “Snow Day” movie.
* Hey, kids – you’ve still got five extra school days – somebody step up!!!
* Meanwhile, the elementary students in China grumble and get back to their Applied Mathematics textbooks.

TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL POSTPONES GRADUATION; NOT ENOUGH GRADUATES

[Note: What is unsaid in this story is that the senior class – and entire high school – is virtually all Black and Hispanic. The outrage here is that the state education system has failed them.]
A high school in Marlin, Texas, has rescheduled its graduation ceremony because most of the senior class was found ineligible to graduate. Only 5 of the 33 seniors at Marlin, Texas, High School met the graduation requirements due to their unexcused absences or failing grades. Officials didn’t think if was “fair” to hold an entire ceremony for just five students. More than one parent complained that they had not been informed until just a few days ago their child wouldn’t be able to graduate. The ceremony has been pushed to late June to give the remaining 28 seniors more time to meet graduation requirements.
* “Fair”? What if, at the Olympics, they said, “Look, we know you won the 100-yard dash, but we’re gonna run it a few more times, see if we can get some more winners.”
* You can’t blame the school administrators. It’s really, really hard to make – what, 28? – phone calls to parents over the course of nine months of the school year and warn them something’s wrong.
* Also, you wouldn’t want to have 5 graduates at the ceremony being pelted with eggs.
* Sorry, no money for a guidance counselor. That money’s gone to on-site security officers and new door locks.

RESTAURANT WILL BABYSIT YOUR KIDS WHILE YOU EAT

Cornells, an Italian restaurant located in Schenectady, New York, is offering free childcare for parents dining during the restaurant’s weekly date night. On Thursday nights, Cornells features a six-course prix fixe menu at a cost of $75 per head. The child care itself is complimentary with the purchase of the adults’ meals. The restaurant offers “screen free” activities in a dedicated child care room.
* For $75, you’d better get unlimited breadsticks with your babysitting.
* The child care is complimentary, although there are some a la carte kiddie charges, such as diaper changing, cleaning spitup, managing temper tantrums, and property damage.
* Wouldn’t it be great, though, when they come to your table to tell you your child is bleeding and you can say, “Not my problem until I’ve finished my tiramisu.”
* Do you suppose they’re actually following official childcare facility regulations? Might want to hurry in while you can.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Lauryn Hill (singer) … 48
Matt Stone (co-creator of “South Park”) … 52
Helena Bonham Carter (actress) … 57
Lenny Kravitz (singer/songwriter/guitarist/actor) … 59
Bobcat Goldthwait (comedian, actor) … 61
Hank Williams Jr. (country singer) … 74
Philip Michael Thomas (actor, “Miami Vice”) … 74
Stevie Nicks (singer) … 75

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“You know, the man of my dreams might walk round the corner tomorrow. I’m older and wiser and I think I’d make a great girlfriend. I live in the realm of romantic possibility.”

(A) Roseanne
(B) Cher
(C) Stevie Nicks

ANSWER: (C) Stevie Nicks

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – Congress passed a four-year extension of post-Sept. 11 powers contained in the Patriot Act allowing the government to search records and conduct roving wiretaps in pursuit of terrorists.
* And anything else they wanted to do.

2004 – Terry Nichols, accomplice of Timothy McVeigh, was found guilty of 161 state murder charges for helping carry out the Oklahoma City bombing. He later received 161 consecutive life sentences.
* 161 life sentences? It’s not enough punishment, but it’s a good start.

1998 – The Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island – historic gateway for millions of immigrants – is mainly in New Jersey, not New York.
* I think Tony Soprano had a hand in this.

1994 – President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China, and announced his administration would no longer link China’s trade status with its human rights record.
* Of course not! You can’t import billions of dollars of cheap stuff made by slave labor if you’re gonna worry about human rights!

1978 – The first legal casino in the eastern United States opened in Atlantic City, N.J.
* I think Tony Soprano’s DAD had a hand in THIS.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Authorities were investigating the death of blues legend B.B. King after two of his daughters claimed he was poisoned. Karen Williams and Patty King said the musician had been given “foreign substances to induce his premature death” by his business manager Laverne Toney. King died in his sleep at his Las Vegas home on May 14, 2015. Tests revealed King’s actual cause of death as Alzheimer’s disease, along with coronary disease, heart failure and the effects of Type 2 diabetes.

2009 – A U.S. judge ended a bitter two-year battle over the late soul singer James Brown’s estate. Judge Jack Early ruled half of his assets would go to a charitable trust, a quarter to his wife and young son, and the rest to his six adult children. Brown’s family, and wife Tomi Rae Hynie Brown, had fought over his fortune since he died of heart failure in 2006.

2000 – Drummer Tommy Lee was jailed for five days for drinking alcohol. Lee appeared in an LA court charged with violating his probation by consuming alcohol, an act that directly contravened the terms of his parole.

1997 – Bob Dylan was admitted to a Malibu hospital with chest pains, causing all his summer tour to be canceled.

1996 – A fire at the home of Eric Clapton caused over a million dollars’ worth of damage. Firemen arrived on the scene to find Clapton braving the blaze to save his collection of guitars.

1994 – Pop star Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley were married in the Dominican Republic.

1990 – David Bowie was sued by his ex-wife Angie for $56 million.

1990 – For the first time ever the top five positions in the U.S. singles chart were held by female artists. Madonna was at No. 1 with “Vogue,” Heart was at No. 2, Sinead O’Connor No. 3, Wilson Phillips at No. 4 and Janet Jackson was at No. 5.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a survey, 3% of Americans are afraid of being alone HERE. Where?
In an elevator

2. Over 70% of U.S. households include at least one person who does THIS. What is it?
Snores

3. About one-third of U.S. adults have never done THIS. What is it?
Flown in a plane

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