THURSDAY, May 25 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP EXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, May 25, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL BROWN-BAG-IT DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Brown-Bag-It-Day is observed each year on May 25. Taking your lunch to work or school is an effective way to save money and to ensure you and your family are eating healthy. If a refrigerator is available, there are more options. Yogurt, salads, cottage cheese and leftovers can all be stored until lunch time. Insulated lunchboxes with an icepack are also an option when a refrigerator is not available. When neither is an option, there are still many health choices such as peanut butter, fresh fruits and vegetables, and protein bars. A thermos is also a good source for taking warm food with you for your lunch.”

NATIONAL MISSING CHILDREN’S DAY

NATIONAL WINE DAY

TOWEL DAY
Wikipedia says this:
“Towel Day is celebrated every year on 25 May as a tribute to the author Douglas Adams by his fans. On this day, fans openly carry a towel with them, as described in Adams’ ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,’ to demonstrate their appreciation for the books and the author. The commemoration was first held 25 May, 2001, two weeks after Adams’ death on 11 May.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, May 25

“FUBAR”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this action-comedy about a CIA agent who gets pulled back into duty to rescue his daughter, who also happens to be in the CIA. The thing is, neither of them knew the other was in the CIA at all!

Season Premiere:
Hulu – “The Kardashians”

FRIDAY, May 26

“Wild Life”
Disney+ – New Documentary
Synopsis: A sweeping portrait of conservationists Kris and Doug Tompkins chronicling their fight to create National Parks throughout Chile and Argentina.

Season Premieres:
Netflix – “Barbecue Showdown”
Starz – “Run the World”

SATURDAY, May 27

“Sarah Silverman: Someone You Love”
Max – New Comedy Special

KATE MIDDLETON, PRINCESS, CAN’T GIVE AUTOGRAPHS

Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales, had to politely decline when some children asked for her autograph while making a visit to the Chelsea Flower Show on Monday. She told them, “I’m not allowed to write my signature, it’s just one of those rules,” she said. Royals can’t give autographs to prevent the risk of forgery. Kate then said, “I can’t write my name but I can draw.” Middleton then proceeded to sketch a flower for a 7-year-old girl named Ruby, a tree for another student and a pond encircled with plants for a third kid.
* That bitch!
* It’s not that royals shouldn’t write their name. It’s that, after so many generations of inbreeding, most of them can’t.
* As for King Charles – he can barely hold a pen in those fat little sausage fingers.
* What would you use a forgery of a royal signature for? Trying to claim they granted you ownership of the Tower of London? Stonehenge? The estate used for filming Downton Abbey?
* Ask Prince Andrew if he can write, and he says, “No, but I can trace.”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “11 Uses for Bananas You Never Thought Of’”
2. “Why Climbing Mount Everest Is So Dangerous”
3. “Katy Perry Reveals Her ‘Only Regret’ About Viral Hamburger Dress at the Met Gala”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Here Are All The Songs Metallica Have Never Played Live”

GUY SECRETS

Reddit asked for “Guy Secrets” That Women Don’t Know About. Some of the responses:
– “We will NEVER forget getting a compliment. I used the same conditioner until it went out of production because someone told me my hair felt soft and smelled nice.”
– “Dudes can be friends for years and not know each other’s real name.”
– “That big sigh my wife just asked about while we’re watching the nightly news? Nothing profound, nothing bugging me — I just remembered to breathe.”
– “It’s possible to just sit and think of literally nothing. Don’t ask us, ‘What are you thinking?’ more than once.”
– “Shampoo mohawk.”
– “We don’t want to tell you certain things are worrying us because we do not want you to worry too. Now there are just two people worrying, whereas before, one was worrying, and the other was happy, which is a reminder to us not to worry so much.”
– “Women, one thing you need to understand is, if you want me to listen to your problems and not offer any solutions, I’m totally cool with that. But if I have to listen to the same problem with no resolution for 20 years straight, it gets old really fast.”
– “Men nod their head down when the meet someone for the first time, and nod up when you see that person again.”
– “Men have only a limited number of words to use in any day’s time. If we spend the day talking on the job, by the time we get home, we literally have nothing to say. ”
– “You’ve never heard a guy talk about how excited he is that his wife got her lips done.”
– “It is almost impossible to listen to a woman tell a story. It doesn’t matter how hard you try. It’s nearly unbearable.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Do any of these ring a bell with you?

U.S. NEWS

MIAMI ZOO CAUSES INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT

A Florida zoo has caused an international incident by insulting the country of New Zealand. Viral video shot at Zoo Miami shows guests interacting with a kiwi bird. The flightless bird is being patted and scratched under bright lights. The kiwi, a beloved national symbol of New Zealand, is a nocturnal bird. After much outcry from New Zealanders, Zoo Miami suspended the kiwi encounters and issued an apology for the mishandling of the bird, named Paora. The zoo wrote – groveled, really – “Though Paora has thrived at Zoo Miami while receiving the best care available, the development of the Kiwi Encounter was, in hindsight, not well conceived with regard to the national symbolism of this iconic animal. It is especially painful to all of us to think that anything that has occurred with Paora here at Zoo Miami would be offensive to any of the wonderful people of New Zealand. Again, we are deeply sorry.”
* “But what did you want us to do? Keep the zoo open overnight so people can look at one nocturnal bird? We’re tryin’ to run a business here!”
* To reciprocate, America has decided to send all of our pigeons to New Zealand. “Do your worst!” we say.
* The Florida zoo added, “Here – have one of our manatees. Do whatever the hell you want with it. As you can tell, Floridians don’t care.”
* The kiwi’s exhibit area will now be used to display a basket of kiwi fruit.
* Where was the outcry from the country of Wales when SeaWorld was exploiting Shamu?

GUY SKATEBOARDS ACROSS AMERICA

A man just finished skateboarding across America. Chad Caruso, a 36-year-old New York resident, took on the challenge to raise money for addiction awareness. Caruso began the trip on March 24 at Venice Beach, California, and completed it on May 19 at Virginia Beach, uh, Virginia. He credits skateboarding for his sobriety. He wrote on his Go Fund Me page, “I wouldn’t have been able to attempt this skate across the country without the energy and focus that sobriety has given me. The goal of this fundraiser is to highlight the importance of having something passionate in your life to focus on.” He raised nearly $50,000. Caruso now holds the Guinness World Record for the fastest crossing of America on a manually-powered skateboard.
* “Shred, Forrest! Shred!”
* It sounds hard, but once you’re at the Continental Divide, it’s really all downhill to the Atlantic Ocean.
* Think of how much more money he could have raised if he’d combined this with DoorDash.
* I would have grabbed a car bumper or two, definitely.
* His left leg is now three times the size of his right from all the pumping.

FLORIDA MAN WHO LOST HIS ARM TO GATOR WAS PEEING IN POND

A Florida man who had his armed chomped off by a 10-and-a-half-foot alligator in the early hours Sunday has revealed he was mauled while peeing in a pond behind the Banditos Bar, because the line to the bathroom inside was too long. Speaking from his bed in a Fort Myers intensive care unit, Jordan Rivera, 23, said he “didn’t realize how big” the pond actually was. Then, he says, he either tripped or the ground below him gave out and he ended up in the water. “And that’s literally the last thing I remember,” he said. The alligator got his right arm at the elbow. Even so, he remains philosophical about the run-in, saying: “I didn’t lose my life — I lost an arm. It’s not the end of the world.”
* Yeah. I mean, at least it was just his arm. He did have his fly open, remember?
* The alligator turned out to be quite a Bandito itself.
* As they were loading him into the ambulance, did he yell, “Pee ya later, alligator”?
* Nice bar, but a visit can cost an arm or a leg.

BEAR STEALS CUPCAKES

On Wednesday morning, a bear broke into a bakery in the mountain town of Avon, Colorado. It happened at Taste By Spellbound bakery. An employee was putting cupcakes in a vehicle in the garage area at the back of the bakery when she noticed the bear. She tried to close the garage door, but the bear made what wildlife officials call a “bluff charge,” when a bear puffs itself up to look bigger and will bound on its front paws toward a person, then stop short or veer off to one side. Bluff charges are meant to scare or intimidate. It worked. The lady ran inside to protect herself and the bear ate 60 cupcakes.
* I’ll have to remember that move the next time there’s a line at Krispy Kreme.
* Cupcakes, huh? No bear claws?
* Was it hungry from all the cocaine?
* “No need to deliver these cupcakes, lady – I’ll eat ’em right here.”
* Police are warning citizens to hide their pic-a-nic bakets.
* “Hey – I’ve got an idea. We live in bear country. Let’s open a BAKERY!”

USING OZEMPIC FOR WEIGHT LOSS MAKES YOU POOP THE BED

So, lately everybody’s using these diabetes drugs Ozempic and Wegovy for weight loss. There appears to be a side effect – pooping the bed. About 30% of Wegovy users say they’ve suffered from diarrhea. More than a few have reported that they joined the “pooped the bed club,” saying they’ve woken up to find themselves covered in their own waste. The reason for this, according to gastroenterologist Dr. Eric Goldstein, is that the initial effect of taking these drugs is constipation – people have reported not having a movement for two or three weeks. Then, they take a laxative, and ‘overcorrect,’ and… blammo. According to Wegovy’s clinical trials, 30% of patients experience diarrhea on the drug and 24% experience constipation.
* Do you get a choice?
* So you’ll be skinnier, and stinkier.
* Doctors were looking for a cause. It was a simple process of elimination.
* This particular side effect is known as amberheardiosis.
* Good time to invest in companies who make rubber sheets.
* Instead of “Oh, oh, oh, Ozempic!” their jingle should be “Oh! Oh, no! Ozempic!”
* Let’s see you blame this on the dog.

TRENDINGTHE 100 GREATEST CHILDREN’S BOOKS

BBC Culture polled 177 books experts from 56 countries in order to find the greatest children’s books ever. Here are the Top 20:
1 Where the Wild Things Are (Maurice Sendak, 1963)
2 Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll, 1865)
3 Pippi Longstocking (Astrid Lindgren, 1945)
4 The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, 1943)
5 The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien, 1937)
6 Northern Lights (Philip Pullman, 1995)
7 The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (CS Lewis, 1950)
8 Winnie-the-Pooh (AA Milne and EH Shepard, 1926)
9 Charlotte’s Web (EB White and Garth Williams, 1952)
10 Matilda (Roald Dahl and Quentin Blake, 1988)
11 Anne of Green Gables (LM Montgomery, 1908)
12 Fairy Tales (Hans Christian Andersen, 1827)
13 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (JK Rowling, 1997)
14 The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Eric Carle, 1969)
15 The Dark is Rising (Susan Cooper, 1973)
16 The Arrival (Shaun Tan, 2006)
17 Little Women (Louisa May Alcott, 1868)
18 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Roald Dahl, 1964)
19 Heidi (Johanna Spyri, 1880)
20 Goodnight Moon (Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd, 1947)

HGTV SELLING REMODELED “BRADY BUNCH” HOUSE

HGTV is selling the “Brady Bunch” house, the Studio City home used for exterior shots on The Brady Bunch TV show. In 2018 the channel bought the house for $3.5 million to use for a TV show. While the interior of the house in no way matched the floor plan of the imaginary Brady house on the sound stage, HGTV remodeled the interior to look like the 1970’s sitcom home, with the iconic floating staircase, the orange-and-avocado kitchen, the kids’ bedrooms and Greg Brady’s attic room, which was built into the basement. HGTV got the original Brady kids (paid handsomely, actually), now grown up, to be a part of the 2019 event series “A Very Brady Renovation.” HGTV is now listing the house with an asking price of $5.5 million.

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Cillian (KILL-ee-yan) Murphy (actor, “Oppenheimer,” “Inception”) … 47
Erinn Hayes (actress, “Kevin Can Wait”) … 47
Mike Myers (actor & comedian, “The Pentaverate,” “Austin Powers”) … 60
Frank Oz (Muppets puppeteer, director) … 79
Ian McKellen (actor, Gandalf in “Lord of the Rings” movies, Magneto in “X-Men” movies) … 84

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I have a messy desk, and if you think my desk is messy, you should see my mind.”

(A) President Joe Biden
(B) Senator Mitch McConnell
(C) Mike Myers

ANSWER: (C) Mike Myers

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – “The Oprah Winfrey Show” aired its final broadcast, ending a 25-year run.
* We laughed, we cried, we got a new car.

1992 – Jay Leno became the new host of “The Tonight Show,” following Johnny Carson’s near 30-year run. He and David Letterman were both in the running.
* Leno edged out Letterman by a chin.

1986 – 7,000,000 Americans formed “Hands Across America.”
* I was the 3,467,224th one to the left.

1981 – Daredevil Daniel Goodwin, wearing a “Spiderman” costume, scaled the outside of Chicago’s Sears Tower in 7 1/2 hours.
* Spiderman? Cute. If he’d been smart he would have negotiated to wear a big “Coca Cola” logo on his back.

1968 – St. Louis’s “Gateway Arch” was dedicated.
* Yeah, it’s nice … but … what does it DO?

1953 – The first “atomic cannon” was fired in Nevada.
* They recovered the clown in New Jersey.

1945 – Author Arthur C. Clark proposed the idea of positioning relay satellites in geosynchronous orbit, which later became the foundation of our present satellite systems.
* He was smart enough to think of it, but not smart enough to patent it!

1937 – The first airmail letter to circle the globe returned to New York.
* But – couldn’t someone have just walked it across town?

1928 – Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean.
* Unfortunately, that’s not what she ended up being famous for.

1895 – The first book on golf, “Golf in America,” was published.
* The publisher and book agent did the deal over a few rounds …

1844 – Stuart Perry of New York City patented the gasoline engine.
* Think he made a lot of money? How about the guy who patented gasoline?

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2004 – Madonna cancelled three shows in Israel after terrorists threatened to kill her and her kids.

2003 – 50 Cent started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “21 Questions,” the rapper’s second U.S. No.1.

2002 – 30 Eminem fans were hurt after a crowd surge at a gig in Washington, DC. Five people were hospitalized, and one man suffered a heart attack.

1995 – The earliest known recording of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, from 1961, was sold at Christies in London for $90,000.

1991 – Mariah Carey scored her fourth U.S. No.1 single with “I Don’t Wanna Cry.”

1990 – Singer Lou Gramm quit Foreigner to start a solo career.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 8 out of 10 people surveyed would rather give up watching TV, shopping, and their cell phone to have THIS. What is it?
A flat tummy

2. If you’re going to break your diet, one third of dieters surveyed said THIS is the food that will do it. What is it?
Pizza

3. You’ll drop 1.3 pounds this year if you cut THIS out of your diet. What is it?
Cream and sugar in your coffee

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