WEDNESDAY, Apr 5 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, April 5, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Hippity Hopper Easter Sale; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

GO FOR BROKE DAY
The Cute Calendar website says this:
“Go for Broke Day is observed on April 5. The phrase ‘Go for broke’ means to risk it all, even if it means losing everything. It was adopted from the 442nd Infantry Regiment’s unit motto ‘Go for Broke,’ which was derived from the Hawaiian pidgin phrase used by craps shooters risking all their money in one roll of the dice. On April 5, 1945, Sadao S. Munemori, a member of the 442d Regimental Combat Team, ‘saved two of his men at the cost of his own life and did much to clear the path for his company’s victorious advance’ near Seravezza, Italy.”

NATIONAL GOLD STAR WIVES DAY
Gold Star Wives is a service, support and advocacy organization made up of:
– The widows/widowers whose spouses died while serving in the Armed Forces of the United States, or as result of service-connected disabilities.
– The widows/widowers of service personnel of all armed conflicts involving the United States of America.
– The mothers and fathers of children whose parents gave their life in the service of the country.
– The widows/widowers of service personnel of all ranks, races, and creeds.

NATIONAL CARAMEL DAY

NATIONAL DEEP DISH PIZZA DAY

NATIONAL RAISIN AND SPICE BAR DAY

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

“THE VIEW” HAS SOLVED ITS FARTING PROBLEM

Over the years, there have been more than a few allegations of “fart” sounds coming from the ladies who host the morning TV show “The View.” They now think they have solved the problem: coasters for the coffee mugs. Technicians on the show believe the sounds were coming from mugs scraping across the glass table. The show’s director has ordered white coasters for the desk. Says Whoopie Goldberg, “We get blamed for dropping gas, when in fact it’s a cup.”
* But that’s just Whoopie cushioning the news of the coasters.
* Even so, I would pull the cabbage rolls from the commercial break snack table.
* It got so bad, they almost changed the name of “The View” to “The Peuuwww!”
* People focusing on the farting when all the hot air is coming from the other end.

RUPERT MURDOCH, 92, BREAKS OFF ENGAGEMENT WITH 66-YEAR-OLD

Rupert Murdoch, the 92-year-old media mogul behind Fox News, has – according to several British Tabloids and other conservative publications – reportedly broken up with 66-year-old Ann Lesley Smith less than three weeks after he announced she was going to become his fifth wife. The two met at an event at his vineyard in Bel Air, California, last year and were planning to wed this summer. Sources tell Vanity Fair that Murdoch and Smith’s relationship turned sour because he had become “increasingly uncomfortable” with his potential fifth wife’s outspoken evangelical views. Smith is a Christian minister and right-wing radio host.
* Yeah, it’s a little late to hope Rupert gets religion.
* So this had nothing to do with the 1200-page pre-nup?
* Looks like he broke it off before she, you know, broke “it” off.
* Maybe what he was looking for in a woman wasn’t companionship, but palliative care.
* If you bought the couple a wedding gift, you can return it to the CVS Pharmacy where you purchased it.

THE BUZZ

100% WORTH THE MONEY

Reddit asked, “What is 100% worth the money?” Some of the responses:
– “Movers. Hire good movers. Don’t go for cheap, go for quality.”
– “A good pillow.”
– “Good, comfortable, well-made shoes. And socks.”
– “Slow-close toilet lids”
– “TSA pre-check”
– “Getting separate phone chargers for every room.”
– “Quality pots and pans.”
– “A top-quality banana hammock.” (* I hope she’s talking about real bananas.)
– “A ‘grabber,’ meant for the elderly or handicapped but everyone can find use with it.”
– “A refundable plane ticket.”
– “A snow blower.”
* Notice no one said “Tickets to that new Shazam movie.”
* How quickly people forget the McDonald’s McRib sandwich when it’s not on the menu.
* Slow-close toilet lids? Must you set the bar so high?
* Yes, phone chargers for every room. Forty dollars well-spent, Mr. Moneybags!
* PHONE TOPIC: What was totally worth the money you spent on it?

U.S. NEWS

THE HOT BLONDE COP AT DONALD TRUMP’S ARRAIGNMENT

America being America, the big news yesterday was not the Trump arraignment, but the attractive blonde female police officer who kept popping up on camera. There were a lot of Twitter posts about the uniformed officer, one of several officers guarding a door inside the courthouse while Trump appeared in court.
* You might say her looks were… arresting.
* I thought the average age of Americans was getting older, not stuck at 13.
* We don’t know her name, but we know she’s probably the next Mrs. Donald Trump.
* She has a kind of a retro-Hill Street Blues/Lucy Bates thing going on.
* No love for any of the doughy dad-bod male officers?
* Well, like everybody else in this case, her life is now ruined. Thanks, internet.
* Next time something like this happens, somebody needs to arrange for an adorable kitten to walk across the scene.

NY LEGISLATOR PROPOSES LAW BANNING OWNERSHIP OF WILD ANIMALS

Newly introduced legislation would officially ban New Yorkers from keeping pets such as elephants, hyenas, rhinoceroses and whales. The law comes after years of controversy surrounding a Long Island business peddling sloths and kangaroos. State Sen. Monica Martinez (D-Long Island), who is sponsoring the bill, says, “Not only is this unethical, but it’s a public-health and safety concern.” The proposed ban would not apply to zoos or animal sanctuaries. However, there are still places such as Sloth Encounters Long Island that remain open for business despite years of efforts by local officials to close it down. State law currently bans people from raising “companion animals” such as lions, tigers, and grizzly bears, but leaves wide open the possession of other questionable pets, such as hyenas, rhinoceroses, elephants, kangaroos, whales, dolphins, seals, sea lions, walruses, emus, ostriches, anteaters, and armadillos – all of which would get banned if the bill passes the state Legislature and gets signed into law.
* Rats and roaches still okay, though, New Yorkers.
* Emus? Somebody tell the guy on those Liberty Mutual commercials.
* Lions, tigers, and grizzly bears don’t make very good “companion animals.” Look away for one second and BAM – they have no more companion.
* “Sloth Encounters.” That’s what we call our break room here.

SPACE FORCE PANTS NOW LESS BAGGY

Well, it’s been a couple of years now that America has had a Space Force, an actual branch of the military. If you’re wondering what they’ve been up to, now it can be revealed: they’ve fixed the pants. A year and a half ago, the Space Force unveiled the Space Force futuristic uniform, which drew criticism for having baggy pants. The reasoning, at the time, was that they wanted to make them comfortable for women. Now, the Space Force has announced that they have completed fit testing, with one-hundred space guardians trying out the uniform, providing feedback to tweak the uniform design. Next, starting this summer, certain guardians will wear the new uniforms three times a week to rate how durable, comfortable and functional they really are. The Space Force is aiming to deliver the new dress uniforms to its members in late 2025, which is… uhh… two-and-a-half years from now.
* I have never been prouder to be an American than at this moment.
* You don’t want baggy pants in space. What if you snagged a pocket on the emergency exit handle?
* What did they decide on the vertical stripes, to make them look slimmer?
* So, still no progress on the ray guns, huh?
* Hey, by the way, astronomers have detected a repeating radio signal from an exoplanet and the star that it orbits, located 12 light-years away from Earth. (* True!) You guys might wanna check that out, maybe after you get done with the whole pants thing.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MONOPOLY GAME ENDS IN SAMURAI SWORD FIGHT

In Brussels, Belgium, four people were playing Monopoly on the pavement in front of a house at 5 a.m., disturbing the owner, who came out to shoo them away from his house. After an argument, the owner’s son came out to defend his father, armed with a samurai sword. Both the son and one of the Monopoly players were injured in the ensuing fight, and both had to be taken to a hospital, without passing Go or collecting $200.
* Sadly, no one had a Get Out of the ICU Free card.
* I never realized roaming gangs of board game enthusiasts was such a problem in Europe.
* If that was anything like the way we used to play Monopoly, those guys got off easy.
* At what point in history did samurai warriors land in Belgium?
* The Monopoly players should have known there’d be Trouble. There was a Risk, but they had no Clue. Someone lost their Marbles and – bam! – right in the Cranium. They fell like Dominoes. At the hospital, they were given an Operation.

TRENDING

TAYLOR SWIFT HIDES IN CLEANING CART

Taylor Swift faces an unbelievable amount of scrutiny these days. So much so that, on her current Eras Tour she avoids fans backstage by traveling from her dressing room to the stage hiding in a janitorial cart. Viral videos, shot by fans at Swift’s shows over the weekend at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, show two stagehands moving a large cleaning cart, with mops and brooms, through the backstage area. The cart is pushed up to a set of stairs leading to the stage, and a costumed Taylor Swift pops out and walks up the steps.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Hayley Atwell (actress, Peggy Carter in Marvel movies) … 41
Mike Eli (country singer with Eli Young band) … 42
Sterling K. Brown (actor, “This Is Us”) … 47
Pharrell Williams (singer, songwriter, producer) … 50
Pat Green (country singer) … 51
Mike McCready (guitarist w/ Pearl Jam) … 57
Mitch Pileggi (actor, “Walker,” “Sons of Anarchy,” “The X-Files”) … 71
Agnetha Fältskog (singer with ABBA) … 73

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“When I’m in the mood for room service, my favorite order is a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.”

(A) Gordon Ramsay
(B) Joe Biden
(C) Pharrell Williams

ANSWER: (C) Pharrell Williams

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1987 – Fox Broadcasting Co. made its prime-time TV debut.
* Ah, yes. Who can forget that Fox debut season classic “The New Adventures of Beans Baxter”?

1984 – LA Laker Kareem Abdul-Jabbar became the all-time NBA scoring leader as he reached a career total of 31,421 points.
* Wilt Chamberlain still claimed he scored more. If you know what I mean.

1943 – The world’s record for survival in a life raft was set when Poom Lim, a steward from a sunken Brazilian fishing boat, walked ashore after drifting at sea for 133 days.
* There would have been more than one survivor but – well, don’t ask.

1910 – Kissing was banned on French trains after claims it would cause delays.
* It was much quicker to just pay the conductor money for your ticket.

1902 – 25 people died in a soccer match riot between Scotland and England.
* Soccer fans used to be so crazy!

1895 – Oscar Wilde lost a libel case against the Marquess of Queensberry, who accused him of homosexual practices.
* As it turns out, Mr. Wilde had quite a bit of practice.

1768 – The first Chamber of Commerce in the United States was formed, in New York City.
* It was such a new idea, they didn’t even have a word for “schmooze.”

1621 – The Mayflower sailed from Plymouth, Massachusetts, on its return trip to England.
* Somebody forgot their umbrella.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – The song “One Dance” by hip hop artist Drake reached No.1 in ten countries including the U.S., and became the most played song on Spotify, with over 950 million individual streams.

2011 – An eight-and-a-half-feet tall concrete statue of Kurt Cobain’s signature Fender Jag-Stang guitar was unveiled in his hometown of Aberdeen, Washington, on the 17th anniversary of his 1994 death.

2008 – Apple’s iTunes overtook supermarket group Wal-Mart to become the largest music retailer in the U.S. Market research firm NPD said iTunes surpassed Wal-Mart in January and February if 12 downloads are considered equal to the sale of one CD album. iTunes had sold more than four billion songs since its launch in 2003.

1995 – Jimi Hendrix’s one-time girlfriend Monika Dannerman committed suicide, two days after losing a court battle with another of the guitarist’s ex-lovers.

1994 – Kurt Cobain committed suicide by shooting himself in the head at his home in Seattle. Gary Smith, who was working at Kurt Cobain’s house, discovered his body three days later lying on the floor in the greenhouse.

1985 – At 3:50pm GMT, over 5,000 radio stations worldwide aired the charity single “We Are The World” by USA for Africa. The single went on to be a No.1 in the U.S., UK, and most western territories. Written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, the all-star cast included Stevie Wonder, Tina Turner, Bruce Springsteen, Diana Ross, Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Daryl Hall, John Oates, Cyndi Lauper, Steve Perry and Bob Geldof.

1984 – Marvin Gaye’s funeral took place at The Forest Lawn Cemetery, Los Angeles; Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Quincy Jones, Berry Gordy and other Motown singers, writers and producers, attended the service.

1980 – R.E.M. played their first ever gig when they appeared at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in Athens, Georgia.

1978 – Duran Duran made their live debut at The Lecture Theatre, Birmingham Polytechnic, England.

1975 – Minnie Riperton went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Loving You.” It was the singer’s only U.S. chart hit.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 58% of women surveyed said they feel sexy when they wear THIS. What is it?
Their man’s football jersey

2. 47% of women surveyed said they purchase THIS when they are feeling down/sad/blue. What is it?
Makeup

3. 19% of women surveyed said THIS is the greatest sound in the world. What is it?
A wine bottle opening

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