WEDNESDAY, Mar 1 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, March 1, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A&M AUTOLAND – Kids and Dogs; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN OF COLOR DAY

NATIONAL BLACK WOMEN IN JAZZ AND THE ARTS DAY

NATIONAL PEANUT BUTTER LOVER’S DAY

NATIONAL PIG DAY

PEACE CORPS DAY

PLAN A SOLO VACATION DAY

SHARE A SMILE DAY

ZERO DISCRIMINATION DAY

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

RICOU BROWNING, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, DIES AT 93

Ricou Browning, the man inside the costume in the “Creature From the Black Lagoon,” has died. He was 93. He was a scuba diver who got involved in the movie business. Besides The Creature, he was a stuntman on Disney’s “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,” helped create the TV show “Flipper,” appeared as many villains in the series “Sea Hunt,” and staged the underwater fight scene in “Thunderball.” As for “Black Lagoon,” he said, “I would hold my breath and go do the scene, and I’d have other safety people with other air hoses to give me air if I needed it. We had a signal. If I went totally limp, it meant I needed it. It worked out well, and we didn’t have any problems.” Browning said he filmed his scenes in wintertime, and it was pretty cold. “The crew felt sorry for me, so somebody said, ‘How would you like a shot of brandy?’ I said, ‘Sure.’ Pretty soon they were dealing with a drunk creature.”
* Dead at 93. He will be flushed — missed. He will be MISSED.
* He went belly-up.
* Given that story about the carp that was alive in the freezer for two days, are they sure the fish man is dead? (See story in International News)
* And how is the actor who played the creature on the wing of the plane on “Twilight Zone”?

THE BUZZ

SHOULD THE MOON GET ITS OWN TIME ZONE?

The Earth has 24 time zones. What about the Moon? With dozens of lunar missions planned for the years ahead, the European Space Agency is suggesting that we create Moon Time as a universal method for lunar timekeeping. There are some significant hurdles, according to European space officials. For one, should a single space agency be responsible for establishing and maintaining “moon time”? And if a new time zone is created, should it be tied to time on Earth, or be its own thing entirely? In addition, clocks on the moon gain roughly 56 microseconds per day, making them tick ever so slightly faster than clocks on Earth. And, these tiny shifts also vary depending on location, which means clocks on the moon don’t necessarily run at the same rates as clocks in lunar orbit.
* Oh, screw the Moon then. We’re going to Mars. Mars knows how to keep time. AND, they know how to make a good candy bar.
* Maybe we should get the whole oxygen-and-water thing worked out before we start worrying about astronaut alarm clocks.
* Clocks tick faster on the Moon? Maybe NASA should upgrade to electric clocks.
* Hasn’t Star Trek already worked all this out: “Captain’s log, Stardate eleventy-fifty three eight-point Pi.”
* Now, let’s talk Moon zip codes.

U.S. NEWS

GETAWAY DRIVER TAKES CAR FOR A WASH DURING ROBBERY

Police were called last Saturday to a Giant Eagle grocery store in South Euclid, Ohio, after the manager spotted a man leaving with a shopping cart full of unpaid merchandise. He had gone into the parking lot looking for his getaway car. However, the driver of the getaway car had gone to a nearby car wash while the suspect was inside the store. The suspect wheeled the grocery cart over to the the car wash and loaded the car, but by this time the car was trapped between several others and couldn’t move. Police arrived and arrested the suspect and the driver. Both had outstanding warrants.
* NEVER go to a car wash on a Saturday.
* Anyone who says they tried to make a clean getaway is fired, okay? We can do better.
* I guess you’d want the car to look good for the televised police chase.
* Maybe it was for disguise? I mean, if you washed MY car the color would change from grey to red.
* He moved the car, AND he played around with the radio buttons. Robbers hate when their getaway drivers do that.

TODAY IN FOOD SPILLS

1. Drivers on Route 5 in Camillus, New York, called 911 on Monday to report marshmallows all over the highway. It turned out 20 cases of marshmallows had apparently fallen off a truck, but nobody reported missing any marshmallows.
* But there were many, many disappointed Girl Scouts stuck with crates of graham crackers and Hershey bars.
* 20 cases of marshmallows. The noise must have been deafening.
* In a case of marshmallows, the marshmallows are their own padding.
2. Also on Monday, a semi-truck overturned on Tennessee’s Newport Highway, spilling thousands of cans of Bush’s Baked Beans into the road and onto the yard of a nearby house. There were no injuries.
* Did they test the driver? I bet the beans weren’t the only thing that was baked on that truck.
* Thousands of cans. How much methane do you get from that, compared to a herd of cows?
3. And again on Monday, a trailer carrying chicken waste products spilled all over Route 55 in Deptford, New Jersey. A trailer carrying the guts was involved in a crash with a passenger vehicle. No injuries were reported, but witnesses said it was the worst thing they ever smelled. That particular road – Route 55 – has a reputation as the “Indian Curse Road.” Back in 1983, a Native American shaman held a news conference to “bring down a curse” on the construction of a new section of the highway. During construction, a site was excavated after the discovery of unspecified artifacts, although there was debate at the time whether the artifacts were important to Native Americans. But that curse combined with a number of worksite incidents and deaths have cemented Route 55 as the “trail of tragedy” in New Jersey mythology.
* Wow – that story took a turn.
* If they built that road over a Native American burial ground, all those chicken parts are going to come back as chicken ghosts. That’s according to Pet Sematary.
* Chicken guts all over was the “worst thing” these people in New Jersey ever smelled. The second worst? New Jersey on any other day.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

PILOT FLEW PLANE IN A CIRCLE SO ALL PASSENGERS COULD SEE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS

On Monday evening, passengers on an EasyJet flight from Reykjavik in Iceland to Manchester Airport in England were able to take pictures of the aurora borealis after the pilot decided to perform a 360-degree turn. A spokesperson from EasyJet said: “Our crew will always go above and beyond for our customers and we’re delighted to have been able to share this special view of the northern lights with them.”
* Sure, but just try getting extra ice in your drink.
* The passengers, of course, were all hit with a $50 fuel surcharge.
* One guy missed it. He was in the bathroom. Sad.
* It would have been easier just to turn the plane upside down, no?
* On the way to Manchester Airport the passengers asked the pilot to swing around London so they could see Big Ben.
* What about the jerks in the window seats who said, “I paid for this window and you’re not looking out of it!”?

WOMAN PUTS FISH IN FREEZER, TWO DAYS LATER IT’S STILL ALIVE

A British woman bought a fish for dinner only to discover it was still alive after 48 hours on ice. Cindy Lao, of Cheltenham, had purchased the Crucian carp while visiting friends in London for Chinese New Year on February 10. Arriving back home, she put the fish in her freezer. Two days later, she took it out to prepare for dinner and saw that the fish was still alive. She and her partner put it in a bathtub, where it was listless for awhile, but after 20 minutes those gills were certainly going. They’ve since named it Lazarus, after a figure from the Bible who rose from the dead. Then they looked for a new home for Lazarus and found a woman with a Koi pond who said she would take care of the fish.
* That’s happened to me, only with Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks.
* Fish-pop. Yumm!
* Just one of the many perils of Buying Locally.
* It’s good they found a home for the fish. It’s also time to get that freezer checked, the thermostat is broken.
* Han Solo says, “Two days is nothin’!”

TRENDING

SPIDER SPECIES NAMED AFTER ABBA

A pair of scientists in Australia have named a new species of spider after the famous pop band ABBA. Dr. Pedro Castanheira and Dr. Volker Framenau are both big fans of the Swedish supergroup, which is how Abba transversa got its name. It’s extremely tiny, measuring just three to four millimeters. So far, researchers have only found the unique spider along the coastal areas of New South Wales and Queensland.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

March 12, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Friday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Sunday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 5:24 p.m. EDT
March 21, Monday – First full day of Spring
April 1, Saturday – April Fools Day
April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Canadian Justin Bieber (singer) … 29
Lupita Nyong’o (actress, “Black Panther” movies) … 40
Ryan Peake (guitarist with Nickelback) … 50
George Eads (actor, “MacGyver”, “C.S.I.”) … 56
Catherine Bach (actress, Daisy Duke on “The Dukes of Hazzard”) … 68
Ron Howard (actor/director) … 69
Dirk Benedict (actor, played “Face” in “The A Team”) … 78
Roger Daltrey (singer with The Who) … 79
Harry Belafonte (singer) … 96

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“To be honest with you, I get a little fed up with actors who act crazy to make themselves more interesting.”

(A) Charlie Sheen
(B) Shia LaBeouf
(C) George Eads

ANSWER: (C) George Eads

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2006 – The English-language version of Wikipedia reached its one millionth article.
* If you don’t count the articles with deliberate or accidental mistakes, that number is in the high dozens.

2002 – Under pressure from prosecutors, the Archdiocese of Boston agreed to turn over the names of people allegedly molested by priests.
* Do priests who molest children get to Heaven? Yikes – I wouldn’t want to spend eternity with one of THEM around!

1977 – Bank of America adopted the name VISA for their credit cards.
* And we’re forever in their debt.

1968 – Federal laws went into effect which mandated all cars must have seatbelts.
* At first, the stingy auto industry resisted. Then they realized that every time a seatbelt saved a life, that person could go on to buy another car some day.

1961 – The ribbon was cut on America’s first K-Mart store.
* In business since 1961 – and STILL nobody knows what the “K” stands for!

1941 – The first commercial FM radio station went on the air in Nashville, Tennessee. Its call letters were W47NV.
* A great technical achievement, but hard to sing in a jingle.

1913 – The federal income tax took effect, in the form of the 16th amendment.
* And didn’t it all start going downhill right there?

1873 – E. Remington and Sons of Ilion, NY, began the manufacturing the first practical typewriter.
* Whatever that is.

1845 – President Tyler signed a resolution annexing the Republic of Texas.
* Texans of course insisted they were annexing the United States.

1784 – E. Kidner opened the first cooking school, in Great Britain.
* Insert your own British cuisine joke here.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – 76-year-old Ginger Baker posted on his blog that he had canceled all of his scheduled shows for the year and was going into immediate retirement. The former drummer for Cream and Blind Faith revealed that his doctor had just diagnosed him with serious heart problems, causing him to announce “No more gigs for this old drummer.”

2004 – Michael Jackson unveiled a new website, www.mjjsource.com. The site featured a celebration of his music career plus news on his current criminal trial, including short biographies of his attorneys and a calendar listing upcoming court dates.

2001 – Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs became the star witness in his own defense in a New York court, claiming he didn’t have a gun during a shooting in a New York club. The singer claimed he thought he was being shot at.

1997 – A Motley Crue fan who claimed his hearing had been irreparably damaged after a show in New Jersey had his lawsuit thrown out of court. The judge told Clifford Goldberg, who had sat near the front of the stage, that he knew the risk he was taking.

1997 – “Bowie Bonds” were issued on the U.S. Stock Exchange. Linked to David Bowie’s back catalogue albums with money earned on the bonds via interest from royalties, investors were told they could expect to make an 8% profit in about 10 years.

1994 – Nirvana played their final ever concert when they appeared at The Terminal Einz in Munich, Germany. The 3,000 capacity venue was a small airport hanger. The power went off during the show so they played an impromptu acoustic set including a version of The Cars’ “My Best Friend’s Girl.”

1991 – Frank Smith from Air Supply died of pneumonia in Melbourne, Australia.

1989 – Model Julianne Phillips divorced husband Bruce Springsteen. The settlement included a clause which Springsteen’s lawyers insisted on, which banned her from talking or writing about what the marriage was like.

1975 – Bob Dylan started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Blood On The Tracks.” his first U.S. No.1 album.

1975 – The Eagles went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Best Of My Love,” the first of five U.S. No.1’s for the band.

1974 – Sara Lowndes filed for a divorce from her husband Bob Dylan.

1969 – Jim Morrison of The Doors was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior after showing his penis to the audience during a show in Miami. He was found guilty and sentenced to eight months hard labor. Morrison died in Paris while the sentence was on appeal.

1968 – Elton John’s first single, “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long,” was released on the Phillips label. It didn’t chart.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 7% of women in their 30’s have done THIS at least once in their life. What is it?
Turned down a marriage proposal

2. The average woman complains about THIS twice a day. What is it?
Men

3. According to surveys, THESE are the three words women want to hear most. What are they?
“You’ve lost weight.”

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