CARMAKERS: GET RID OF THESE THINGS!

The Jalopnik website asked readers, “What new car features would you happily pay to remove?” Some of the responses:
1. The Auto-stop system, which turns off the engine when you’ve stopped in order to save fuel. Says one reader: “Stop for one second and climate control shuts off. Stop in the middle of a turn and risk getting your hands torn off when the power assist comes back to the steering.”
2. Touchscreen Controls for HVAC Systems, wipers, headlights, all-wheel drive, radio, etc.
3. Disabling the touchscreen functions when the car is in motion. Whoever’s riding shotgun should be able to operate the screen.
4. Always-On Illuminated Gauges. If they’re on all the time, you can’t tell if you’ve forgotten to turn your headlights on at night or on a cloudy day.
5. Stop mirrors from tilting down when you put the car in reverse.
6. Smart Lane Assist, which dings or applies the brake if your tire touches a lane line.
7. Rollover safety design that doesn’t block your ability to see outside your car.
8. Disable all communication between the car and the outside world. “I don’t want firmware updates out of the blue. I don’t want people to be able to steal my car with their phone. I don’t want the manufacturer deciding what features I can and can’t have with the flick of a switch.”
9. Electronic Emergency Brake. If your battery goes dead, you can’t simply put it in neutral and push the car out of the garage so you can attach jumper cables. The car is bricked where it sits.
10. Electronic Power Seats. “Give me a lever to slide a seat forward or back or to recline the seat back. It’s an unnecessary “solution” to a problem that never existed.
11. Blind Spot Warning. “It’s a feature designed to protect automakers against liability. Of course there’s a car behind me in the next lane, I want to see where it is. After a few months of driving I learned to just ignore the beep.”
* Good job, automakers! “We know you hate this stuff. We’ll throw in a few more cup holders – will that make you happy?”
* Are you listening, Detroit? People will PAY MONEY to have this stuff removed from your cars. It’s a new revenue stream for the ailing car industry!
* Welcome to the Future, where you have to take a six-week online course before you can drive your car.
* How about one master button that turns everything off. Label it “Take Me Back to 1950.”
* Did they toss out the requirement that the guys who design cars need to actually drive them?