TUESDAY, Feb 14 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, February 14, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: KNOCK AT THE CABIN; CONTEST – TIME WARP

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

LIBRARY LOVERS DAY

NATIONAL CREME-FILLED CHOCOLATES DAY

NATIONAL FERRIS WHEEL DAY

NATIONAL ORGAN DONOR DAY

RACE RELATIONS DAY

VALENTINE’S DAY

February is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
African American History Month
Celebration of Chocolate Month
International Boost Self Esteem Month
International Friendship Month
National Bird Feeding Month
National Snack Food Month
National Sweet Potato Month
Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

“PLANE” TO GET A SEQUEL: “SHIP”

The recent Gerard Butler movie “Plane” was a hit, so it’s getting a sequel. It will be called… “Ship.” In “Plane,” pilot Gerard Butler landed a plane on an island full of bad guys. One of his passengers was an accused murderer but really a good guy underneath it all, played by Mike Colter. “Ship” will be set on a cargo ship, and will focus on Colter’s character who discovers the vessel is being used as a ferry for a human trafficking ring (* Then shouldn’t it be called “Ferry”?). They haven’t got a writer or a director yet; the concept is being shopped around to production companies.
* You can tell a lot of thought went into this.
* Shopping it around is easy ’cause you can summarize it in a tweet and still have dozens of character spaces left.
* It’s nice they’re fleshing out the Mike Colter character. Especially since it sounds like Gerard Butler doesn’t want to get with 500 miles of a sequel.
* They’d better hurry if they want to get it out by next year’s Oscar season.
* You’re gonna want to see “Ship.” Because sequel progression after “Ship” will be “Train,” “Car,” “Tram,” “Elevator,” and “Dogsled.”

AMY POEHLER, TINA FEY TO DO A JOINT COMEDY TOUR

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are debuting their first-ever live comedy tour together, “Amy Poehler and Tina Fey: Restless Leg Tour” this spring. The show will commemorate Fey’s and Poehler’s 30 years of friendship through an “evening of jokes, iconic stories and conversational entertainment.” The big tour starts in Washington D.C. April 28 and then it’s on to Chicago, Boston, Atlantic City, and…. well that’s it. Four dates.
* You’ll never see it, so why are we talking about it?
* Four dates. So, rehearsal, dress rehearsal, actual show, and backup show for coverage in case there’s a mistake during taping for the inevitable Netflix special.
* Man, Steve Martin & Martin Short are touring EVERYWHERE and they’re in their 70’s!
* Why don’t they just have small groups of people over to the house in shifts?
* No biggie – they just want a little bit of extra money for some home improvements.
* Seriously, though, it’s a chance to see probably the funniest women in America, after Lauren Boebert.

THE BUZZ

VALENTINE’S DAY QUIZ

FoxNews.com had a Valentine’s Day quiz. Let’s see if you’re up on your Valentine’s Day knowledge:
1. Lovebirds are an actual bird – True or False? (True)
2. Which flower is the most popular to give on Valentine’s Day: Tulip/Rose/Daisy/Sunflower? (Roses)
3. Candy hearts were originally medical lozenges – True or False? (True)
4. Valentine’s Day is florists’ busiest day of the year – True or False? (True)
5. The first official Valentine’s Day celebration was held in which city: New York/Paris/New Orleans/Rome? (Paris)
6. The abbreviation XOXO originally meant what: Hugs & Kisses/Holding Hands/Sealed With A Kiss/Sent With Love? (Sealed with a kiss)
7. Which is the most popular gift for Valentine’s Day: Flowers/Chocolate/Jewelry/Wine? (Jewelry)
8. Who created the first heart-shaped box of chocolates in 1861: Richard Cadbury/Fanny Farmer/Walt Whitman/Milton Hershey? (Richard Cadbury)
9. Valentine’s Day is the second busiest restaurant day after what other day: Thanksgiving/New Year’s Eve/Easter/Mother’s Day? (Mother’s Day)
* And here are some other Valentine quiz questions:
– What is the proper size bottle of perfume to buy at Rite Aid Pharmacy for your wife: 1 ounce/1 pint/1 quart? (Trick question, they only come in quart-size at Rite Aid.)
– You’re at a restaurant and your Valentine date decides to try something off your plate. Do you: Let her eat off your plate/Place a small portion for her on a bread plate/Stab her hand with your fork?
– You’re buying picked-over last-minute flowers at the supermarket along with 100 other schmoes on your way home from work tonight. Which line is the shortest: 10 Items or Less/Self-Checkout/Pretend You Have A Problem At Customer Service And They’ll Check You Out?
– Your wife says she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, so you don’t get her anything. Where will you be sleeping tonight: The Couch/The Guest Room?

SOME VALENTINE’S DAY FACTOIDS
(Found some time ago at the Lovetingle website, which is now defunct.)

85% of all valentines are purchased by women.
Over 1 billion Valentine cards are sent in the U.S. each year.
Parents receive 20% of all valentines sent.
The biggest days for giving flowers are Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day.
Valentines ranks second only to Christmas in number of greeting cards sent.
Over 50 million roses are given for Valentine’s Day each year worldwide.

CRAZY LOVE FACTS

In Kentucky, 50% of the people who get married for the first time are teenagers.
35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 states in the United States.
In Frackville, Pennsylvania, a woman filed for divorce because her husband insisted on “shooting tin cans off of her head with a slingshot.”
Each year over 11,000 people are injured trying out new sexual positions.
People who have never been married are seven and a half times more likely to be admitted to a psychiatric facility than married people.
Percentage of runners who say they think about sex while running: 66%. Percentage who say they think about running while having sex: 8%.
The phrase “honeymoon” came from the Greeks. It was customary for the bride’s family to supply the groom with a full moons cycle (a month) of wedding wine, which tasted like honey.
Couples who marry in the months January, February, and March have the highest divorce rates.
Over 278 bacteria colonies are exchanged during a French kiss.
The world’s greatest lover was documented to be King Mongkut of Siam. He had 9,000 women in his harem.

VALENTINE HISTORY

Who is St. Valentine?

One story says Valentine was a priest who served during third century Rome. There was an Emperor at that time by the name of Claudius II. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those that were married. With this thought in mind he outlawed marriage for young men in hopes of building a stronger military. Valentine decided this decree just wasn’t fair and chose to marry young couples secretly. When Emperor Claudius II found out about Valentine’s actions he had him put to death. Another legend claims Valentine was an imprisoned man who fell in love with his jailer’s daughter. Before he was put to death he sent the first ‘valentine’ himself when he wrote her a letter and signed it ‘Your Valentine,’ words still used on cards today.

What about Cupid?

In Latin, cupido means “desire.” In Roman mythology Cupid is the son of Venus, goddess of love. His counterpart in Greek mythology is Eros, god of love. Cupid is often said to be a mischievous boy who goes around shooting both gods and humans with his arrows, causing them to fall in love.

U.S. NEWS

THIEVES STEAL CATALYTIC CONVERTER FROM WIENERMOBILE

Evil thieves stole the catalytic converter from the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. The 27-foot vehicle was in the parking lot of a Las Vegas hotel last week for a series of events tied to Super Bowl weekend, and sometime early Friday morning the Wienermobile’s catalytic converter was stolen. It had to be towed to a local truck rental facility where it received a temporary converter that allowed it to make a previously scheduled appearance, but the owner of the rental facility noted there is a four-month waiting list for catalytic converters.
* The last thing the Wienermobile needs is performance issues.
* Talk about emasculating the manifold.
* Apparently, the drive shaft and ball joints were untouched.
* Stealing from the Wienermobile – that’s the wurst.
* To get to the catalytic converter, you’d have to crawl under the Wienermobile. My first suspect would be a urologist.

ANOTHER WHALE WASHES UP ON NJ SHORE

A dead whale was found on a New Jersey beach Monday (* Awww – Brendan Fraser!)— the ninth one to wash ashore in the New York-New Jersey area since early December. The whale washed up on Whiting Avenue beach in Manasquan. Clean Ocean Action, an environmental conservation organization, said that the high number of whale deaths might be due to an increase off-shore wind energy projects, although scientists with the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management have found no evidence that the wind energy projects and whale deaths are related.
* It’s New Jersey. It’s the original home of sleeping with the fishes.
* What do you want to bet they do an autopsy and find 200 DVDs of Disney’s “Pinocchio” remake in its stomach?

LOST DOG RETURNS TO ANIMAL SHELTER, RINGS DOORBELL

A missing dog was found two days after it walked 10 miles to its former shelter and rang the doorbell. The recently-adopted dog named Bailey went missing from her new home in El Paso, Texas in late January. Two days later, at 1:40 in the morning, staff at the Animal Rescue League of El Paso got an alert from their Ring doorbell that someone was at the front door. They checked the camera and there was Bailey the dog, waiting to be let inside. She was allowed to rest for a good long while, and then reunited with her new family.
* Hope they sent it back to the new owners with a leash.
* Bailey is part retriever, part returner.
* The new family abandoned Bailey a couple miles from the house ’cause they were tired of her ringing the doorbell.
* Scram, Bailey, no takebacks.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

BALLET DIRECTOR HITS CRITIC IN FACE WITH DOG DOO

The director of a leading German ballet company has been suspended from his post and is being investigated by police after allegedly smearing a critic’s face with dog excrement at the premiere of his new show after she gave it a bad review. Marco Goecke, the head of Hanover State Opera’s ballet company, confronted critic Wiebke Hüster during Sunday night’s intermission of his latest show, titled “In the Dutch Mountain.” Hüster’s review, published Saturday, stated, “One alternates between a state of feeling insane and being killed by boredom.” Mr. Goecke attacked her verbally before producing a bag of dog feces from his pocket and rubbing the contents in her face. The substance came from his pet dachshund, Gustav, who always accompanies him. It was said to have been produced by Gustav just minutes before.
* So the dog gave his review, too?
* See, this is the problem with letting emotional support animals in everywhere.
* It was a real pas de deux deux.
* If she hated it so much, why did she go back a second night?
* The critic stood her ground and said, “Gee, this smells just like your ballet.”
* So I’m guessing the reviews that came out Monday were suddenly pretty good.
* Gee, it makes you realize how much worse the whole Will Smith/Chris Rock thing could have gone.

FISH CAN RECOGNIZE THEMSELVES IN A MIRROR

Groundbreaking new research from Osaka Metropolitan University in Japan claims that fish can recognize themselves in a mirror. Researchers focused on a species of fish called cleaner fish. These fish have long been known to attack any unfamiliar cleaner fish who may infringe on their territory. The fish were shown four photos: a regular photo of themselves, a photo of an unfamiliar cleaner fish, a photo of their own face on an unfamiliar cleaner’s body, and a photo of unfamiliar cleaner’s face on their own body. The cleaner fish didn’t attack images of their own faces, but they did attack photos with the faces of unfamiliar cleaner fish. Researchers believe these results indicate the cleaner fish determined who was in the photograph based on facial features not bodies.
* First, I wanna say these cleaner fish sound like real jerks.
* There’s no way to recreate the experiment because the test subjects have been sushied, as it were.
* “What did you do today at the expensive university, Keiko?” “I pasted pictures of fish faces on pictures of other fish.” “Atta girl!”
* If this news is supposed to make me feel bad about my Filet-o-Fish, it’s not working.
* My dog barks at his reflection but fish can recognize themselves? I don’t think so.

TRENDING

THE CHANGING FACE OF TV WATCHING

The majority of Americans have cut their monthly cable subscriptions for streaming services for the first time in history. According to a new report from Samba TV, just 48% of U.S. adults report they have a monthly cable or satellite TV subscription. The other 52% – a slim margin – use nothing but streaming services. Where this comes into play, of course, is advertising. Without cable, over half of U.S. households are “totally unreachable by traditional linear advertising,” according to the survey. And we can’t have that, can we? Also:
– The current trend is to cancel the cable bill and subscribe to two or less streaming services. And then comes what the industry calls “cycling”: you sign up for a new streaming service and cancel it once you’ve watched a certain program. The report finds that 29% of people have subscription cycled in the last six months and 69% of people plan to cycle in the next six months. The majority of cyclers report only being interested in one program per streaming service.
– It was announced over the weekend that as of June 26, 2023, the Peacock Premium streaming service you get free with your Comcast Xfinity subscrition will be gone, you’re going to have to pay for Peacock just like Netflix and Hulu. So get watching those episodes of “Poker Face” now!

BARNEY THE DINOSAUR REBOOT

Well, they’re rebooting Barney now. The infamous 1990s children’s TV franchise featuring the annoying purple dinosaur, is coming back in 2024, but this time as an animated series. Mattel, who owns the copyright, plans to roll out Barney films and YouTube videos in addition to a line of kids’ merchandise. The company is also planning a line of adult apparel and accessories featuring the original Barney design.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Valentine’s Day
February 20, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
February 21, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 12, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Friday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Sunday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 5:24 p.m. EDT
March 21, Monday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Freddie Highmore (actor, “The Good Doctor”, “Bates Motel”) … 31
Danai Gurira (actress, “Black Panther”) … 45
Rob Thomas (musician with Matchbox 20 and Santana) … 51
Simon Pegg (actor, “Mission: Impossible” and “Star Trek” movies) … 53
Teller (silent comedian-magician with Penn and Teller, born Raymond Joseph Teller) … 75

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not a sad person, upset the whole time, but I seem to be quite emotional.”

(A) Eminem
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Freddie Highmore

ANSWER: (C) Freddie Highmore

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – The TV game show “Jeopardy!” began airing the first of three episodes pitting human players Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings against an IBM computer named “Watson.” Watson received the first place prize of $1 million.
* The weird part? He blew it on booze and broads.

2003 – “Dolly” the sheep – the first mammal cloned from an adult – was put to death at age 6 after premature aging and disease marred her short existence.
* So we’re still a bit away from cloning Scarlett Johansson.

1990 – Space probe Voyager 1 took a photograph of the entire solar system.
* I HATE that picture. I look fat and my eyes are closed.

1989 – Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeni ordered the execution of British author Salman Rushdie, after the publication of his book, “The Satanic Verses.”
* So he didn’t like the book, then?

1971 – President Richard Nixon installed a secret taping system in the White House.
* Smart move.

1962 – President John Kennedy’s wife conducted the first televised tour of The White House.
* “And in this room is … oh, why is this door locked? And what IS that noise?”

1929 – The infamous “Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre” took place in Chicago when seven members of Bugs Moran’s gang were shot by the Al Capone gang.
* You could feel the love in the room.

1899 – The U.S. Congress began using voting machines.
* Aren’t you glad we have modern voting booths and not those primitive, unreliable ones?

1876 – Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray applied separately to patent the telephone. The Supreme Court eventually ruled Bell was the rightful inventor.
* Elisha Gray spent the rest of his life making late-night crank calls to Bell.

1848 – James K. Polk became the first president photographed in office.
* 150 years later Bill Clinton would be the first president pornographed in office.

1803 – Moses Coats of Downingtown, Pennsylvania patented the apple parer.
* Just goes to show how much productive work you can get done when you don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day.

1477 – The earliest recorded Valentine card was sent in Norfolk, England.
* So the person getting it must have had no idea what it was.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Adele was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with her third studio album “25.” The album was a massive commercial success, debuting at No.1 in more than 25 markets and broke first-week sales records in multiple countries.

2005 – A 1965 Fender Stratocaster guitar belonging to Jimi Hendrix sold for $166,000 at an auction in London. Other Hendrix items sold included a poem written two weeks after his appearance at the Monterey Festival which went for $16,000 and the first Jimi Hendrix Experience’s single “Hey Joe,” signed by all the band sold for $3,300.

2004 – Dave Holland, former drummer with Judas Priest, was jailed for eight years for indecent assault and the attempted rape of a 17-year old boy. The youth, who had learning difficulties, had been taking drum lessons from Holland.

2003 – Stolen reel-to-reel studio recordings by The Beatles were found in Australia. Police recovered the tapes of the bands 1968 “White Album” and the “Abbey Road” album after they were advertised for sale in a Sydney newspaper. Australian police had been tipped off by British detectives from Operation Acetone, an investigation into thefts of original Beatles music from Abbey Road studios in London in the 1960’s.

1999 – U.S. rapper Foxy Brown was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Chyna Doll.”

1998 – Usher started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Nice & Slow.”

1998 – Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” set a new recorded for the most radio plays in the U.S. with 116 million plays in one week.

1992 – The film “Waynes World,” with a brief cameo appearance from Meat Loaf, premiered in the U.S.

1990 – The Rolling Stones played the first of ten nights at the Korakuen Dome, Tokyo, Japan. The shows were seen by over 500,000 fans, making the band $20 million.

1987 – Bon Jovi started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Livin’ On A Prayer,” the group’s second U.S. No.1.

1984 – Elton John married recording engineer Renate Blauer in Sydney, Australia. The couple divorced three years later.

1978 – Dire Straits began recording their first album at Basing Street Studios, London. The whole project cost $21,250 to produce.

1977 – U.S. singer, songwriter Janis Ian received 461 Valentine’s day cards after indicating in the lyrics of her song “At Seventeen” she had never received any.

1973 – David Bowie fainted on stage during a concert at Radio City Music Hall, New York rformances), Johnny Winter and Todd Rundgren. Bowie faints on stage after a fan leaped onto the stage and embraced him. He was diagnosed with exhaustion and slept 12 hours straight the next day.

1972 – John Lennon and Yoko Ono started a week-long run as co-hosts on the “Mike Douglas” TV show.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Over half of parents surveyed said THIS makes them feel younger. What is it?
Texting their kids

2. A recent survey found the top ways parents save time to make things go smoother in the morning. 40% said they do THIS. What is it?
They wear their pajamas when they take their kids to school

3. 40% of adults surveyed admit to doing THIS during their kids’ bedtime routine. What is it?
They skip pages in their kids’ bedtime stories to make them end sooner

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