NEW GADGETS AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
The 2023 Consumer Electronics Show is happening in Las Vegas. Here are some of the new gadgets presented.
1. South Korea-based 10Minds showed off a pillow with a built-in microphone that detects snoring, then triggers soundless airbags that change size to gently turn a sleeper’s head to a position that makes it easy to breathe quietly. It even distinguishes your snoring from your dog snoring, or your spouse.
* My dog hasn’t snored since I got him a CPAP machine.
– The Nowatch: It looks like a watch, but it can’t tell the time. t tracks your heart rate, sleep, steps, and your sweat glands.
* Sweat glands. Finally, the technological breakthrough we’ve been waiting for.
2. Digital wellness company Withings has a device that lets people analyze their urine while they are relieving themselves in their very own toilet bowl. A disk that hangs inside a toilet bowl can measure nutritional health indicators such as vitamin C and ketone levels. Best of all, the cartridges are changeable – you can change them yourself!
* Vitamin C levels? Folks, if your urine is as yellow as a lemon, you’re getting enough Vitamin C.
* I think that should be “worst of all, you get to change them yourself.”
3. South Korean company Bodyfriend has the Bodyfriend massage chair, billed as a medical device that kneads muscles, applies heat and even pulses electromagnetic waves that are supposed to ease aches and pains.
* Don’t wear anything metal or you’ll never be able to get out.
* A “medical device”? Yeah, good luck getting your insurance company to cover it.
4. The Mutalk, by Shift-all. It’s a human muzzle. It looks like a small binocular case that straps to your head and fits over your mouth to quiet your speaking voice. It’s designed for gamers who maybe have roommates who don’t like to hear you shout while you’re playing. They can’t hear you talk in the room, but inside the unit is a Bluetooth microphone built for the metaverse.
* And it helps you quit smoking.
* I could use one of these, and then I don’t have to come in to the office to do my show. I could be riding the bus, talking into my Mutalk, throwing it to traffic and weather.
5. AtmosGear Electric Roller Skates. A large battery pack goes around your waist like a fanny pack. Then wires run from the battery to the skate frame that encases the wheels. Powered roller skates!
* Meh. Let me know when they develop rocket skates.
6. Samsung’s A.I. Wall Oven, which comes equipped with an internal camera so you can watch your food as it’s cooking. You can also take photos and livestream it.
* Yeah, this will really help you get those 1 million YouTube subscribers.
7. The Fufuly Pulsating Pillow. Shaped like a large marshmallow, the pulsating cushion expands and contracts to reduce anxiety in the same way holding a baby or having a cat on your lap might do.
* Oh SURE it does. Fufuly me once, shame on you, Fufuly me twice shame on me.
8. The Bird Buddy smart bird feeder that snaps pictures of any visitors, sends photos to your phone and identifies the species.
* You know how birds like shiny things. I’d hope the camera lens is pecker proof.
* The Consumer Electronics Show. Or as it’s called by inventors: The Shark Tank Losers Convention.
* How about a gadget that warns you when you’re about to buy a stupid new gadget?
