WEDNESDAY, Sept 28 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, September 28, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Free Dinners; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

ASK A STUPID QUESTION DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Today is Ask a Stupid Question Day. It’s your opportunity to speak up, and to ask all those questions you were afraid to ask. All those questions that you thought were too stupid or dumb to ask, have been piling up all year long. Today is the day to unload them. C’mon give it a try. Nobody will laugh … we hope. The roots of this special day go back to the 1980’s. At the time, there was a movement by teachers to try to get kids to ask more questions in the classroom. Kids sometimes hold back, fearing their question is stupid, and asking it will result in ridicule. Teachers chose the day September 28. If it fell on a weekend, they would celebrate it on the last day of the month.”

DRINK BEER DAY

NATIONAL GOOD NEIGHBOR DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Ah, Good Neighbor Day. It’s definitely a good thing. Being good neighbors is an important part of the social fiber that makes this country so great. Therefore, it seems only fitting that one day a year honors good neighbors. In the early 1970’s, Mrs. Becky Mattson from Lakeside, Montana recognized the importance of good neighbors, and started the effort to make this a National day. In 2003, the U.S. Senate passed a resolution, sponsored by Montana Senator Max Baucus, making September 28th National Good Neighbor Day.”

NATIONAL SONS DAY

STRAWBERRY CREAM PIE DAY

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

THE BUZZ

THE WORST CORPORATE GIFTS

Did you ever get an awful or ridiculous gift from your company? Here are some examples:
– “I once attended a conference where everyone got a blown glass sculpture. An incredibly fragile blown glass sculpture. Throughout the final session, and the bus ride back to our hotel, the sounds of breaking glass could be heard – if it touched anything, it went kaboom.”
– “My company gave us $100 gift cards. Good, right? They came in these big boxes which you’d open to find a hammer and a chunk of concrete that you had to bash your way through to get to your gift card. Employees spent the afternoon hammering the concrete. We had desks smashed up, a ridiculous number of wireless mice destroyed, and one guy missed his rock and slammed his cell phone dead center.”
– “During the busy season, everyone was required to work a certain amount of unpaid overtime. In ‘gratitude,’ the company owners would periodically parade through the office handing out very small, cheap gifts. Once it was a packet of off-brand tortilla chips and a shelf-stable container of ‘nacho cheese.’ We workers were expected to drop whatever we were doing to cheer for the owners as they benevolently handed out cheap snacks, like aristocrats handing pennies to the peasants.”
– “My company gave everyone a deck of cards with the company logo on it. And instead of the standard, suits and numbers, the cards had the Company Values on them. The top card contained instructions for a go-fish-type game we were meant to play with them. ‘Do you have any Innovation? Go fish.’”
– “Coupons for a discount chain oil change. We were in NYC, many of us didn’t even have a car.”
– “For implementing a test supply reduction program that saved the company hundreds of thousands of dollars we got a key ring with the company logo. For 15 years service I got a $5 pocket knife.”
– “I once received a rock with the word ‘trust’ written on it in sharpie. Morale was particularly bad at the time and management thought “trust rocks” would help. Some rocks were thrown.”
– “For my 15th anniversary on the job I got a big, heavy medallion with my name spelled wrong. For my 20th anniversary, I got a brass mantel clock, with my name spelled differently, but still wrong.”
* Quit complainin’. You all got a paycheck, didn’t ya?
* Company logo items are great ’cause on evenings and weekends you can be reminded of your sucky job.
* Suddenly those stress balls they gave us here last year don’t seem so bad.
* Corporate America, if you’re listening: you can’t go wrong with the occasional surprise pizza lunch party.
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the worst corporate gift you ever got?

STOP USING YOUR BRAIN AND LIVE LONGER

One key to a longer life could be a quieter brain without too much neural activity. Researchers at Harvard Medical School analyzed brain tissue donated to human brain banks by people ranging in age from their 60s and 70s to centenarians who lived to be 100 or older. They found people who died before their mid-80s had lower levels in their brains of a protein called REST that tamps down genes involved in sparking brain activity, compared to the very oldest people. This suggests that excessive brain activity could be harmful. The results have been called counter-intuitive, as “Use it or lose it” has long dominated thinking on how to protect the aging brain.
* Something to think about… if you want to DIE!!!!
* Well, I’m going to live forever.
* So, I can watch ABC’s The Bachelor, and just tell people it’s for my health when I get older?
* Old, brainless politicians who spend decades and decades and decades running things. That explains how we got where we are.

U.S. NEWS

PUMPKIN PRICES UP

The average price of a large pumpkin is now up to $5.68, which is up from $4.92 in 2021. Experts said the jump is due to inflation and drought conditions and climate change and blah blah blah. According to experts, there are ways to cut down costs. One tip is trying to buy a locally grown pumpkin.
* Another is to use a cantaloupe.
* Local pumpkin – great idea! I usually have mine shipped FedEx from overseas.
* Did they REALLY talk with pumpkin experts? And it’s plural – exPERTS – so they must have talked with more than one.

WOMAN’S DATE DRIVES THEM BOTH INTO A RIVER

A woman who went on a date with a man she found on the Plenty of Fish dating website was driven into a river by her date. Police found the woman crying and still soaking wet near a boat launch in Providence, Rhode Island early on Sunday morning. She told police her date became angry with her and drove the Toyota Camry they were in down a boat ramp and into the Seekonk River. The woman was able to open her passenger door and swim out of the river. The man left the scene. The woman said she met her date on the app Plenty of Fish.
* Did the car end up full of Plenty of Fish?
* If you don’t like them, throw them back. That’s how fishing works.
* He failed at stealing her heart… unlike the Camry, which was probably stolen.
* And that trick worked so well for James Bond in “The Spy Who Loved Me.”
* Their second date could either be at a driving school, or anger management classes.
* Well, at least it wasn’t an ocean cruise.

PORCH PIRATE BATTLE ESCALATES

Several people in Austin, Texas, said their doorbell cameras have caught the same people swiping packages from their porches. One of the victims, Gabriela, stepped up, hoping to thwart the operation. She and her husband put a box of dirty diapers on the front porch. The same people drove by and took the package. But not too long after the theft, they came back and smeared those diapers on Gabriela’s front door. Then, thirty minutes later, they came back again with a giant bag of cow manure and spread that all over Gabriela’s front porch and on their cars in the driveway. Said Gabriela, “That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on their trail.”
* I guess he picked up the scent pretty quick.
* Sounds like both sides have had enough of this crap.
* They’ve got money to buy a giant bag of cow manure, but they’re still out stealing stuff off porches. This crazy economy!
* Screenplay Alert! I see Zach Galifianakis as the porch pirate, Seth Rogan as the homeowner.
* Gabriela’s plan was a flop.
* We need a doorbell camera that can fire a Taser.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SWITZERLAND IS THE BEST COUNTRY THIS YEAR

U.S. News and World report, a magazine that — I don’t know, was it ever relevant? – well, they’ve come out with their annual ranking of countries according to 73 different criteria, like “dynamic” and “a leader” and “cares about human rights” and “committed to social justice” and “can understand the cable bill.” Last year, Canada was number one; this year it’s Switzerland.
These Are the 10 Best Countries in the World, According to U.S. News & World Report:
1. Switzerland
2. Germany
3. Canada
4. United States
5. Sweden
6. Japan
7. Australia
8. United Kingdom
9. France
10. Denmark
* Yay, everybody in Switzerland gets a Certificate of Participation.
* The Swiss aren’t happy – they’re smug.
* Canada’s had a high ranking ever since Justin Bieber moved here to live.
* The U.S. is only number 4? I claim voter fraud, the ballots were stolen, the voting machines were controlled by Venezuela.
* You know, Monaco is a country of, like, only 800 people; all of them are billionaires; they sit on the Mediterranean Sea; they’re run by a benevolent monarchy. Why do they never make the Top Ten in these surveys?

The 10 Lowest-Ranked Countries in the World:
85. Belarus
84. Uzbekistan
83. Iran-istan
82. Kazakhstan
81. Serbia-stan
80. Algeria-stan
79. Lebanon-stan
78. Oman-istan
77. Zambia-stan
76. Myanmar-stan
* These countries gotta get rid of this Stan guy.
* Where did North Korea get the money to bribe their way out of last place?

TRENDING

GIRL SCOUT COOKIE PRICES GOING UP

This could be the start of something bad: Shannon Evers, CEO of the Girl Scouts of Oregon and SW Washington, sent out word that the Scouts are facing “a significant budget challenge exacerbated by the impact of inflation.” So how do the Girl Scouts make up the difference? By tweaking the cost of the cookies. The West Coast Girl Scout councils are raising prices Girl Scout cookies” from $5 to $6 a package. Now, this is just for the west coast, but, like the weather, things from the west tend to blow east.

TOM HANKS WROTE A NOVEL, MADE FOUR GOOD MOVIES

Tom Hanks’s first novel has been announced and is due out next year. The novel, called “The Making of Another Major Motion Picture Masterpiece,” is – SURPRISE! – about the movie business and the making of a “colossal, star-studded, multimillion-dollar superhero action film and the humble comic book that inspired it.” Hanks says the story was based off his personal experiences. “Every character in the book does something I’ve experienced while making a movie.” The book will be out in March.
And… in the same interview, Hanks said this: “I’ve made a ton of movies (and four of them are pretty good, I think).
* PHONE TOPIC: Which four movies does Tom Hanks think are “pretty good”. Difficulty: One them has to be “Turner and Hooch”.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Oct. 10, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Sunday – National Boss Day
Oct. 31, Monday – Halloween
Nov. 6, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Friday – Veterans Day
Nov. 24, Thursday – Thanksgiving

BIRTHDAYS

Hilary Duff (actress, “Younger,” “Gossip Girl,” “Lizzie McGuire”) … 35
Jerrika Hinton (actress, “Hunters,” “Grey’s Anatomy”) … 41
Peter Cambor (actor, “Grace and Frankie”, NCIS: Los Angeles”) … 44
Mandy Barnett (country singer) … 47
Karen Fairchild (singer w Little Big Town) … 53
Naomi Watts (actress) … 54
Mira Sorvino (actress) … 55
Janeane Garofalo (comedienne, actress, radio talk host) … 58
Brigitte Bardot (actress, animal rights advocate) … 88

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“My life is very crazy and busy, but I love it that way.”

(A) Joe Biden
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Hillary Duff

ANSWER: (C) Hillary Duff

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – The recorded global death toll passed 1 million, with over 33 million known cases.

2015 – NASA scientists announced the discovery of flowing water on Mars.
* You know what this means for the first astronauts on Mars, right? Tube rides!!!

2002 – Iraq rejected a U.S.-British plan for the United Nations to force President Saddam Hussein to disarm and open his palaces for weapons searches.
* Can you believe it – they claimed they had NO weapons!

1991 – Marion Barry, former mayor of the District of Columbia, was sentenced to six months in prison for possession of crack cocaine.
* Maybe that should be the District of COLOMBIA with an “O.”

1955 – The World Series was televised in color for the first time.
* “Wow – look at all the different shades of brown tobacco spit!”

1946 – The first Army-Navy Store opened, specializing in the sale of surplus military supplies.
* For folks who like to buy things made by the lowest bidder.

1892 – The first night game in football was played, between Mansfield State Normal School and Wyoming Seminary in Mansfield, PA.
* Night games became pretty popular, because the artificial illumination was so poor in those days that at night, you really couldn’t see the horrific gashes and mutilations players would get wearing that old-fashioned leather headgear.

1850 – The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment.
* Unfortunately, the news never made it to my fraternity.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Metallica cancelled their upcoming tour to allow frontman James Hetfield to enter rehab.

2004 – Producer Phil Spector was charged with the murder of actress Lana Clarkson. After one mistrial, he was found guilty of murder in the second degree on April 13, 2009.

2002 – Madonna was voted the greatest female singer of all time by 75,0000 music fans in a VH1 poll.

1997 – LeAnn Rimes went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “You Light Up My Life Inspirational Songs.”

1994 – Bobby Brown witnessed a fatal drive-by-shooting in Roxbury. His sister’s fiance was killed in the incident.

1991 – Garth Brooks went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Ropin’ The Wind.” The album spent a total of eighteen weeks at the No.1 position and 70 weeks on the chart, selling over 11 million copies.

1991 – Guns N’ Roses released 2 albums: “Use Your Illusion I” and “Use Your Illusion II,” which made No.1 & No.2 in the U.S.

1989 – Jimmy Buffet published “Tales From Margaritaville,” a book of short stories.

1976 – A&M Records sued George Harrison for $6 million over non-delivery of a new album after he missed the deadline by two months.

1974 – Bad Company went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with their self-titled debut album.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Consumers spend $800 million a year on THIS food item. What is it?
Peanut butter

2. 25% of American homeowners say you need to spend at least $1,000 on THIS to have a good one. What is it?
A mattress

3. About 40 million Americans have one of THESE, and spend about $792 per year on it. What is it?
A cat

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