MAN PUTS EEL UP HIS BUTT TO CURE CONSTIPATION

A man in Xinghua, China was suffering from constipation, so he did what anybody would naturally do: he inserted an 8-inch eel into his rectum. The man was encouraged to try the treatment from folklore that said eels could help with bowel movements. However, instead of curing his constipation, the fish went from his rectum into his colon and then bit through and entered his abdomen. Doctors who operated on him said he could have died. Interestingly, the eel was still alive when it was removed during the operation.
* And, boy, was it angry.
* The quickest way out would have been to turn around and leave the way he came in, no?
* What brand of constipation eel do you buy? Metamuceel? Citruceel? Milk of Magneelsia?
* Just thinking of the mechanics of this makes no logical sense.
* Every time you figure China has become a modern cutting-edge nation dominating the world stage, we get a story like this.
* ♪♫ When you’re blocked in the rump / And you can’t take a dump / That’s a moray!
* ♫♫ If you can’t Number 2 / Shove it up your wazoo / That’s a moray!
* ♪♪♫ When you feel a strange mass / Squirming ’round in your ass / That’s a moray!