THE POLAR BEAR HOTEL

A hotel that bills itself as the world’s first “polar bear hotel” has opened in China’s far northeastern Heilongjiang province. No matter what room you’re in, The Polar Bear Hotel, part of the Polarland theme park, promises round-the-clock polar bear viewing. Polarland’s official WeChat account said, “Whether you’re eating, playing or sleeping (* wink wink), polar bears will keep you company.” Rooms run $290 to $350 per night. Animal rights group PETA opposes the hotel, reminding everybody that “Polar bears belong in the Arctic, not in zoos or glass boxes in aquariums – and certainly not in hotels. Polar bears are active for up to 18 hours a day in nature, they roam thousands of miles, where they enjoy a real life.”
* Yeah, but where else can they get a continental breakfast and free wifi?
* And all the Coca-Cola they can drink.
* The difference between the $290 room and the $350 room is the thickness of the protective glass.
* And if you don’t pay your bill, they raise the window.
* Here’s a buzzkill – an actual visitor’s review on TripAdvisor:
“It’s as close as one should ever wish to be to a polar bear. Standing perhaps three meters high and at the same time magnificent and monstrous two of these creatures live what can only be described as very unfortunate lives in a cramped glazed room perhaps ten meters long. Here they swim back and forth and actually appear quite stressed, and one is left feeling glad of the opportunity to see them at such close quarters yet filled with sadness by their confinement.”