OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS 2018

Oprah has released her annual collection of “Oprah’s Favorite Things” for 2018. There are 109 items, everything from clothing to food to body lotions to kitchen gadgets to pet supplies. Here are some of the more unusual items, and their cost:
– Glamourpuss Knitted Faux Fur Mittens, $78 a pair
– Goat Milk Soap by Beekman, $48
– Dog Spa Day Gift Set by Harry Barker: includes a personalized terrycloth robe for the dog (* Who can read, of course), a bottle of shea butter dog shampoo/conditioner, and a double-sided brush. Yes, you have to give the dog a bath yourself. $49
– Dog DNA Test by Embark. The test reveals a dog’s genetic age and info, as well as breed breakdown. You send in a small sample of slobber. $159.00
– 6.5 Gallon Multiflavored Popcorn Tin by Popinsanity. $179. For popcorn.
– Truffle Burger Kit By Urbani Truffles: Six pre-made, raw hamburgers made from short rib, brisket and black summer truffles. Comes with small jar of truffle ketchup and truffle mustard. $62
– Lobster Truffle Mac and Cheese, $62.45 for four 8 oz. servings. Mac. A. Roni. And. Cheese.
– Panettone by From Roy, $49.99. A panettone is, basically, a tall fruitcake.
– Grow Your Own Christmas Tree by Urban Agriculture: seeds and a cup of dirt. After four or five years, when it’s big enough, plant it outside. $45
But then, there’s this: These are actual comments from actual Oprah fans on the Oprah Magazine Favorite Things 2018 page:
– “Should be called the wish list for the rich & famous.”
– “I’m so disappointed. I can’t afford any of these.”
– “Disappointing – Oprah, I love you but you are SO out of touch!”
– “Who could afford or want to pay $180 for popcorn. Money could feed a family.”
– “I was so excited for this list but who can afford any of these things?! I have two kids to support, I can’t pay this much for any of these things.”
– “My mouth dropped at the prices! My goodness OPRAH we all aren’t wealthy!”
* Ladies, ladies… you knew what you were buying into.
* Sure, go ahead and buy something that ISN’T one of Oprah’s Favorite Things. I’m sure that won’t count against you when you get to Oprah heaven.
* Meanwhile, half the population is too young to know Oprah and are wondering “Who is this lady and why is she bossing everyone around?”
* Screw this. What’s Gwyneth Paltrow offering over on Goop?