STARBUCKS OFFERS FORTUNE-TELLING FRAPPACINO

Starbucks is now offering what they call the fortune-telling Crystal Ball Frappucino. The candy-sparkled drink, infused with peach flavor, will be available for five days in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. The drink is sprinkled with one of three colored sprinkles, with each hue telling your fortune:
– Blue: Adventure is your destiny.
– Green: Get ready for some good luck to come your way.
– Purple: Expect magic, wonder and enchantment in your future.
Starbucks is hoping the drink will be photographed by customers, posted on social media and spread around as free advertisement.
* So, hey, let’s help them out, everybody! Starbucks could really use the exposure.
* Wait – no Starbucks customers have any BAD fortune in their future? Wow, is this a great planet or what?
* The only fortune here is the one Starbucks will be making.
* I predict a lot of people will be out 6 bucks.
* Colored sprinkles. Are there a lot of 5-year-olds going to Starbucks now?
* Gimmicks – the “jumping the shark” of marketing.
* Of course, Starbucks will never jump the shark. But it’s a pleasant thought.
* I wonder if the baristas will complain on social media like they did about the Unicorn Frappuccino. That’s always a kick.

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How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?

posted March 20

He had some Twix up his sleeve.

What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”