TREE PLANTED BY GEORGE WASHINGTON FALLS IN STORM

A tree believed to have been planted by George Washington in Virginia was felled by the powerful nor’easter that slammed the East Coast last week. The 227-year-old Canadian Hemlock that stood watch over Washington’s tomb for many years at Mount Vernon blew over. The hemlock was given to Washington in 1791, transported in half a whiskey barrel, as a gift from New York Governor (* and funkmaster) George Clinton. Mount Vernon officials are exploring options for how to use the wood. In the past, they’ve turned fallen trees into everything from handmade gavels to bottle stoppers.
* Not wooden teeth? Those would sell like hotcakes in the gift shop.
* Why would someone give George Washington a hemlock after what he did to that cherry tree?
* Standing watch over Washington’s tomb? What was the plan if someone tried to vandalize it? Have the tree RUSTLE at them?
* With the old trees falling, President Trump now wants to open up Mount Vernon to logging.
* Meanwhile, Ben Franklin’s pot plants are doing just fine.