ROOMMATE BEATEN FOR LETTING CAP'N CRUNCH CEREAL GO STALE

An Alabama man allegedly beat up his roommate for not properly sealing a box of Cap’n Crunch cereal, which had gone stale. Duane Smith, 52, was arrested Friday for domestic violence following a confrontation with the man he shares a residence with, in the town of Moundville. Smith was especially perturbed since he is missing teeth and had difficulty eating the stale cereal. At one point, Smith demanded that his roommate remove his dentures so that he could experience how hard it was to eat the Cap’n Crunch. When the man refused, Smith allegedly began striking the victim with an electrical cord. The roommate suffered injuries to his face, hand, and arm.
* Kaboom!
* An electrical cord? Kinky. Was the whip in another room?
* In too much of a hurry to let it soak in the milk an extra 5 minutes?
* If you have difficulty eating cereal, should you really be eating a cereal with an emphasis on how crunchy it is?
* Hello? It’s called oatmeal.
* The guy’s Froot Loops.
* He’ll probably go to jail and get Life.