FLAMING SPIDER CAUSES APARTMENT FIRE

Two guys in Redding, California, caused an apartment fire when one of them tried to burn a spider to kill it. The men said it was a huge wolf spider that they set ablaze with a torch lighter (* the kind with a long barrel you use to light the gas grill after the igniter button wears out after the first week, but that’s another story). The flaming spider scurried onto a nearby mattress, setting it on fire. Flames quickly spread to a flag collection and drapes in the bedroom. The residents tried to put the fire out with a garden hose, but were unsuccessful. The fire caused about $11,000 in damage.
* Because smashing it with a shoe would have been too messy.
* Spiders are smarter than I thought!
* “Burn me, willya? Well, I’m takin’ you with me!”
* This is why you need go big when dealing with spiders. Grenades might work.
* Also – never keep a flag collection in the bedroom.
* Didn’t the Flaming Spiders used to open for Aerosmith?