PASSENGER SMEARS POO IN PLANE

A United Airlines flight last Thursday from Chicago to Hong Kong had to be diverted to Anchorage due to a passenger smearing feces everywhere. A man smeared the excrement in a couple of bathrooms, and took off his shirt and attempted to stuff it in the toilet. He was cooperative with the flight crew and was seated when the flight landed in Anchorage. Airport Police say the subject was taken to Providence Hospital for a psych evaluation.
* And a shower.
* That flight was almost as crappy as The Emoji Movie.
* Officials deny that the name of the man on the flight to Hong Kong was Hoo Flung Pu.
* When the passengers finally got to Hong Kong, they were pooped.
* Still not as bad as a crying baby.