90-YEAR-OLD MAN RETURNS STOLEN PIECE OF STONEHENGE

A 90-year-old Florida man has returned a missing chunk of Britain’s Stonehenge – more than 60 years after he swiped it. British-born Robert Phillips took a 42-inch-long piece of one of the huge standing stones – thought to be at least 5,000 years old – during archaeological excavations in 1958. He kept in his office, then took it with him when he moved to the U.S., first to Rochester, New York, then to Chicago and California before finally settling in Aventura, Florida. It was the night before his 90th birthday that he decided to return it, with his sons, Robin and Lewis, flying it to Stonehenge and presenting it to the site’s curator. English Heritage, the conservation charity that looks after the ancient stones, said the missing stone may be crucial in researching the origins of the mysterious stones.
* Or, it may not. Depends.
* Nice job, Robert. With that missing piece, the followers of Maloch will finally be able to summon Durgg, the Master of Destruction, to kill us all. Well done, jerk!
* All his life, he passed it off as the world’s largest paperweight.
* Well… rock on!
* Meanwhile, we’re still waiting for someone to give back the Sphinx’s nose.