7-ELEVEN DELIVERS DATE PACK

Convenience store chain 7-Eleven announced its new delivery service in several markets. The service offers several options. For example, the $20 “Date Night Pack” which includes a container of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, a Hershey’s chocolate bar, a can of Red Bull, an 18-pack of Trident gum and – of course – three Trojan Ultra Thin condoms. Another convenience pack offered by the chain, the “Hangover Pack,” contains extra-strength aspirin, a fruit punch Gatorade, a large pepperoni pizza and a sandwich containing smoked turkey and pepper jack. The delivery options are currently available in Los Angeles, Chicago and the New York boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn.
* Sure, who doesn’t turn to 7-Eleven for all their sexual accessories?
* Nothing impresses a woman like having her over for a date, and your 7-Eleven condom delivery guy arrives at the door.
* Come to think of it, having THREE condoms delivered might actually impress her pretty much.
* Then you say to her, “Three condoms. Well, this’ll come in handy for the FIRST hour …”
* The Hangover Pack should include that “day after” contraceptive pill.
* As long as we’re talking sex, why not throw in a Big Gulp?
* Then there’s the “5O Shades” pack: Handcuffs, rope and a whip.
* Only one Hershey bar?
* And what’s with all the gum? Am I missing something in the world of modern dating?
* This is the kind of thing that happens when the marketing department has too much time on its hands.
* This is going on my list of things I dare Pope Francis to offer an opinion about.
* Actually 7-Eleven has a lot in common with Miley Cyrus’s legs. They’re open 24-7 too.