WORLD’S LONGEST RABBIT STOLEN

Somebody has kidnapped the World’s Longest Rabbit. Darius is a continental giant rabbit – yes, he’s the size of a sheep – who holds the Guinness World Record for being the world’s longest rabbit at 4 feet 3 inches. Darius went missing last Saturday from owner Annette Edwards’ garden in Stoulton, England. Edwards, 61, said that Darius was too old to breed, and pleaded for the thieves to bring him back. In a side note, Annette Edwards is a former model, has posed for Playboy, and has spent $16,000 on plastic surgery so she can look like Jessica Rabbit from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Edwards is offering a £1,000 ($1375) reward for Darius’ return.
* Police say to be on the lookout for rabbit poop the size of pool balls.
* You think 4 feet 3 inches is long? When she puts Darius on her chiropractic rack, she can stretch him to 5 feet 2.
* There are more than a few disturbing details in this story. Like:
– Why was she trying to look like Jessica Rabbit? To impress Darius?
– How, exactly, does she know Darius is too old to breed?
– Did being a Playboy bunny cause her to want to become an actual rabbit?
– Can you actually make $16,000 raising rabbits?