WOMAN SUING ALL GAYS, EVERYWHERE

A Nebraska woman has filed a federal lawsuit against all homosexual people on the planet for breaking “religious and moral laws.” Sylvia Ann Driskell of Auburn argues in a seven-page, handwritten petition delivered to the U.S. District Court of Omaha that “homosexuality is a sin and that the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet?” The 66-year-old, who is representing herself in the lawsuit, cites Webster’s Dictionary as well as a series of Bible passages in her lawsuit, filed simply as “Driskell v. Homosexuals.” “I never thought that I would see a day in which our Great Nation or our Great State of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some people’s lewd behavior,” she notes. “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed because his compassions fail not.”
* Like Yoda do religious people talk.
* This is dumb. Why doesn’t she have a lawsuit for each of the Ten Commandments?
* If we could lock up everyone who coveted his neighbor’s wife, that would solve traffic congestion right there.
* Wait a second – so you’re allowed to covet your neighbor’s husband?
* Guys get all the breaks.
* It sounds like Sylvia is having trouble admitting she’s gay.
* I mean what else would explain overreacting like this?
* And it doesn’t help when she leads us through her thinking here.
* For example, she asks, “Why else would gay people hide in the closet?” Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because they’re frightened of the hate from people like you, Sylvia.
* Then she tries some phony lawyer phrases like “so compliant to the complicity.” She might not be stuck in the closet, but she hasn’t been hiding in any libraries either.